To ask if we don't have the same dad.

[BrotherlyLove]

Just got the results from my Ancestry DNA kit.
My brother did his a while ago, he has come up in my details as close family/first cousin.
We have a 1535 Match of centimorgans or whatever it's called. This does not look good does it?

@SkintAsASkintThing - not to derail from the OP (sorry OP; I sympathise with your dilemma) but that's really interesting. Have you ever talked about it with your sister? Does she also wonder?

I think that if I had any uncertainty at all about myself, I would be keen to get to the bottom of my own story; but then again, I can imagine in reality it might be very hard to confront the possibility of things not being what they seem.

@SkintAsASkintThing when we did ours, my Mum was thrilled I was hers. Turns out they’d bought her the wrong baby from the nursery more than once when she was in having me, and she’d been worrying about it for 45 years!

I am watching with interest. I have taken the test and connected with a paternal 3rd cousin in a different country via hints.
We've spoken at length and are agreed on knowing the same family members however we don't have a dna Match.
It's very had to digest even though I had already had suspicions about my paternity.

Like @SkintAsASkintThing, I've often wondered if I'm my fathers daughter. I strongly suspect not.

I don't think there would be any peace in me finding out now.

If this is an ancestry test for some reason it's taken 2 weeks for all the features to work on my husband's account but not on mine. I'd leave it for a week or so and check back. Then join DNA detectives on fb and get them to help you.

The tests may not be 100% accurate (though they are improving as more and more people are tested), given some of the details (the amount of shared DNA b/n you and your brother, the fact that has been infidelity at some point in the marriage, etc.), I'd say it seems much more likely that the test is correct than not.

A handful of people in my family (including myself) have taken the Ancestry test, and it's been very accurate in predicting familial relationships.

As for why two siblings were given the test by different people, that's not so strange. These tests have become popular gift items, over the past couple of years.

OP, good luck. I hope you find a way to make peace with whatever conclusions you come to.

I don't want to make this more stressful but if other people in your family take one of these tests it may lead to questions no matter what you decide.

Haven't read the whole thread so don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but I remember a program (something reasonably reputable in a morning) a few years ago sending various DNA off for testing.

I think, amongst other DNA, they sent off twins DNA and it didn't come back as twins, and dog DNA. The dog DNA came back as human with 'proper' results, so not accurate.

Please be wary about your results OP.

Be very fucking careful before you throw a hand grenade into your family ... you made it this far oblivious and you could have lived all your lives without knowing if not for DNA tests.

Heaven knows the circumstances under which your brother is a half sibling, if this is indeed the case.

Certainly not about to throw a hand grenade in.
I have deleted my account so that my db and other family can't see anything.
There is a cousin quite into all of this stuff who could see me now come up on his matches, I don't know him well enough to know if he would spill the beans.
I am saying nothing for now, if my db gets any new matches from 'other family' in the near future then we will have to deal with it if it happens.
I don't want the responsibility currently.

That result does seem to say that you're half siblings.

How come you both decided to get the test done?

Just by chance.
His was a birthday gift last year, mine this year.
Pure coincidence. Separate gift givers.

Wow, that is awful. So you weren't seeking this ''clarity''. It just landed on your lap.

This may sound very passive but you must be able to tell by looking at you and your brother which one of you is not your father's child. If it's your brother, I would probably leave it for him to figure out or act/not act upon.

If you think it's you that 's not your father's child then you have the right to dig deeper. Sorry if this has been covered already.

Are the separate gift givers both family members who talk to each other and might have been trying to get you to test or completely random?

These kits do work reliably. I have used them myself to trace my unknown birth father and in the process of trying to piece together my half sisters matches to find her birth father.

Sorry it must be such a shock but there is no way that this is a full sibling match.

It would either be grandparent/grandchild half sibling aunt/uncle niece/nephew.

If you would like any help with looking at your matches in the future feel free to pm me.

I would recommend taking some time before you do or say anything. However if your brother has the test done himself and knows your doing one he may already be thinking the same thing

I am definitely my father's child.
I look like him , his sister's etc.
My brother had no matches from my dad's side in his profile
The gifts were random, there is no conspiracy.

Does it give you any names that you've never heard of? Or names that you recognise but didn't know were relatives?

Oh sorry, I misunderstood, I thought you were the one who had no matches on your dad's side.

Thanks Toddle, it has been a shock, I have felt quite sick since finding out.
I don't think my db has been too interested in it tbh, he might not even remember for ages that I was even doing the kit.
I've removed all my evidence on the off chance he logs in on a bored day.

When you say you have deleted it do you mean hid it or actually fully deleted your results as they cannot be retrieved?

If you have matches you know of in the family then it must be your brother who's has the different father to the known father.

In your circumstances I would raise it gently with your mother and tell her that this kind of technology exists and he is a sitting duck really. Even if you have deleted your results someone else from the biological fathers family may test and bring it to his attention.

In my case my mother was angry and in denial saying that he couldn't possibly be my father, didn't know who he was etc. She thought my dad was someone she slept with a month later (clearly didn't know much about conception). She genuinely thought my father was a different man and thought the dna test like many on here didn't work like that

@Myyearmytime Well that's funny, because the the CEO of Ancestry recently admitted they're not as accurate as some people assume and that they are intended for 'entertainment purposes!'

But clearly you know better...

@BrotherlyLove On your results page, apparently at the bottom of the screen is a drop down menus where you can change the 'accuracy' percentage

Ah, I also thought it was you who didn’t match your dad. As it’s your brother, I’d leave it. He must have noticed he had no matches to his “dad”. I’d just ignore it unless he talks to you about it. It’s not uncommon for this to happen, unfortunately. But it doesn’t change who raised him.

Is your db older or younger than you ?

There's been several cases now where these dna tests along with high profile genealogists have used the results of these tests to solve serious unsolved crime.

The dna does not lie. People lie/don't know/un aware etc. There are some cases where the match is on the boarder of a very high half sibling match/very low full sibling so it would be hard to figure it out. Unfortunately this isn't the case here.