To wonder what working parents are meant to do in school holidays?

[StepAwayFromGoogle]

DD1 starts school in September. DP and I both work because we can't afford for either one of us to be off. I have applied for part time but my work have been spectacularly backward and refused point blank, which is a whole other thread. I am looking for another job but work in a very specific field in a very specific industry so it's not looking likely that I'll get something, much less part time.
DD1 school have a before and after school club which is over subscribed so she won't get in for the first year. We have scrabbled around and managed to cover the week with GPs and a childminder.
So on to the holidays. DD1 will have 13 weeks off school a year. Between us, me and DP will have just under 10 weeks holiday. AIBU to think that if the govt wants parents (particularly mothers) to work then there needs to be better holiday provision? I'm not blindingly sure what working parents are expected to do after 3pm every day and for the 13 weeks children are off in the year. At the moment all our holiday days will be spent covering time off school and we won't be able to have a holiday together as a family.

lots of unstructured time and freedom to invent games with their friends or just chill out alone in the childcare settings that my kids went to. I think some people have a very strange view of childcare.

The holiday club DS goes to has structured activities at set times during the day, but they are all optional, and if a kid wants to spend the whole day reading in the treehouse or colouring or building Lego spaceships or playing their own games with other kids, they can do. The adults are there to keep them safe and offer play options if they want them, not to force them into anything.

Good grief. Op said in her opening post that the school has a before and after school club that was already oversubscribed, so no place.
Why are people continuously banging on about being prepared to pay and to use school clubs.
I sympathise. There were 3 childminders at my sons school that did before and after school pick ups - and I was one of them. So there was no capacity when I got a new job.
I recommend finding a couple of nice Uni students and paying them over the summer holidays to tag team childcare.They can take and drop to summer camp if necessary.

Sometimes i do wonder if the sudden change of heart in society that occured sometime in the 1970s about how it would be better for women to continue working was less about agreeing with women about equality and more to do with upper echelons rubbing their hands in glee about being able to base mortgage rates on two wages instead of one.

acciocat
Yes, some do provide that. But the bottom line is that if the children want to decamp to the local park and play among the trees or throw sticks in a pond that is not going to happen because they have to be supervised. This is fine for children aged 4, 5, 6, but older children can't have that freedom either, whereas previous generations were often allowed to play outside with friends once they got to age 7, 8 +. Children in a wraparound care setting have to stay in that setting.

Quite often the supervising adults don't really get children who want to sit in a corner and read as opposed to joining a group activity, or they will tolerate it for a few days and then decide the child must be dying to join in but just needs enthusiastic and persistent encouragement.

Spontaneous playing and use of the outdoors environment has an enormous value in childhood. It is not always possible to provide that in a supervised setting.

Because if it was REALLY because they cared about women having equality the gender pay gap wouldnt still be there and more would have been done about sexual harassment in the workplace.

Very good point @mathanxiety

School isn't a childminding service. It's for your child's education. What about if your child is unwell or there is an unexpected school closure? Most parents take unpaid leave if there is a shortfall, or pay a childminder or as others have suggested use holiday clubs. You are right it is very difficult but people do it everyday.

Holiday club 8-6 daily
Summer that’s usually 6 weeks hol- week each, week at GP few random day hol, rest day 2.5 weeks kids club
Half term- usually take 1 as hol out of the 3 a year, other 2- kids club
Christmas, usually cover between us

I can and do use childcare vouchers saved throughout the year

@ MumUnderTheMoon You really jumped into a thread with 600+ posts to bestow your pearls of wisdom in the confident belief that they could not possibly have occurred to anyone else in 600+ posts?

mathanxiety I take your point about older children not being given the freedom to go off and explore beyond the confines of even a childcare venue with generous outdoor space. When did that stop happening? I remember spending plenty of time taking myself off to the library/park/etc as an older primary age kid, but nowadays it seems like childcare is obligatory for longer?

What I find annoying is so many holiday clubs don’t take the childcare vouchers because they have a different designation.
I now have a tonne of money saved up in my voucher account but can hardly spend it over the summer as the kids would rather do the interesting club as opposed to the ones they go to during the school year.
Standard clubs which take vouchers near me will not take my 12 year old.
Sigh.

The thing is, the governement are pushing parents being in work, better off in work etc, forcing parents to work as soon as the child is in school blah blah. Without making sure that there is enough childcare provision first.

Everyone knows that there simply are not enough school hours jobs for all parents that need them, and not enough wrap around care either, so pushing for employment and punishing those who cant do it, shouldnt be done until the infrastructure is in place.

As a single parent there is no juggling or taking time off turn about, I have to do it all myself.

The problem is that two parent families used to include in be worker, and one houseperson

Because of. Expensive living costs, and also because of government attitude to income tax against single earner families, it's very difficult for most people to do this.

School isn't a childminding service

Only someone who hasn't planned when to have a second child around the timing for the first one would be in school would make that argument. Of course it's partly child minding.

The problem is that two parent families used to include in be worker, and one houseperson

For a section of society in some class and income brackets in some countries for a part of the 20th century, yes. It wasn't by any means a universal or historic norm which has suddenly changed. The women in my family have always had jobs outside the home, going back five generations.

It's so wrong.... why is there so little provision in this country for actual working hours (not just for sahp that need a break) and why is it so ridiculously expensive. This should definitely be subsidised like in Europe. Not everyone has grandparents to help.

And I'm really worried about high school...what are you meant to do about high school aged kids? Leave them to be on screens or wandering about all day? It's so wrong!!

School are quite blatently 'minding' your child for free regardless of the additional small matter of providing an education, so yeah I TOTALLY consider school to be free childminding!

I feel the OP got a hard time here. She wasn't being resistant to ideas, merely commenting that it was tough. It is.

Did you not think of that before having children?

I was a teacher and was lucky enough to have school holidays when I first had children. However, their holidays were longer than mine and often at different times. I used a full time childminder when they were little and then a variety of other types of child minders or holiday and before and after school clubs when they were little. When older I paid a local lady to do pick ups and drops until I had finished work.

Advertise in your local newsagent and ask around for personal recommendations. If you use nurseries or OFSTEDed outfits you will pay more and, personally, I preferred the smaller scale , more personal, care my children had from childminders who were mums.

It cost a fortune but the other mums told me you were not paying to live but to keep your job open.

I expect to be looking after my grandchildren when they appear.

I preferred the smaller scale , more personal, care my children had from childminders who were mums.

Oh, so did I, I cannot understand why so many people see nursery as the default option. Mine went to pre-school as well, but then could come back to a home environment and just feel relaxed, watch TV, and do the things they would have done if at home with me.

I agree with NannyOgg although don't really see what parents can do about it. I mean you don't get to choose what sort of temperament your child has and it must be very difficult if there is a mismatch in the lifestyle of the parents and the temperament of the child.

Because there simply aren’t many childminders around. It’s not economically viable, the government don’t pay the 30 free care on time, it appears a right pickle

I am a single parent. I try to book some days off then I use a holiday club in a local nursery.

See I was right. There is a stigma about holiday clubs. This thread has turned from a lament of the lack of holiday care to a lament about the poor children being dragged out of their beds to be pushed into activities they don’t want to do. Well fuck that. I work hard to support my family and to find a balance that works for us. I work from home sometimes so my dd gets all the downtime she craves (ha, that works well). I host play dates and get the favour return. I put months of prep into making sure she gets to do the holiday activities she really wants to and join up with other parents to share logistics and ensure she has some pals there. I also actually work part time and so does dh so she gets your glorious unstructured days several days a week (when she doesn’t beg to go to holiday club). My dd has a perfectly nice life thanks, and doesn’t need you feeling sorry for her.