To wonder what working parents are meant to do in school holidays?

[StepAwayFromGoogle]

DD1 starts school in September. DP and I both work because we can't afford for either one of us to be off. I have applied for part time but my work have been spectacularly backward and refused point blank, which is a whole other thread. I am looking for another job but work in a very specific field in a very specific industry so it's not looking likely that I'll get something, much less part time.
DD1 school have a before and after school club which is over subscribed so she won't get in for the first year. We have scrabbled around and managed to cover the week with GPs and a childminder.
So on to the holidays. DD1 will have 13 weeks off school a year. Between us, me and DP will have just under 10 weeks holiday. AIBU to think that if the govt wants parents (particularly mothers) to work then there needs to be better holiday provision? I'm not blindingly sure what working parents are expected to do after 3pm every day and for the 13 weeks children are off in the year. At the moment all our holiday days will be spent covering time off school and we won't be able to have a holiday together as a family.

Take some annual leave together, some seperately. Holiday clubs/childminders/wfh. All doable just takes some juggling

I know it's not great but it's what millions of parents have to do-pay for childcare. When mine were younger our childcare was more than our mortgage at the time. We were paying £1300 a month. At the time it feels like it's never ending but now we are in the last few months of paying for childcare and it's now down to £160 a month. It does get easier x

Well, you (and/or your partner) have four basic choices.

Pay for childcare.
Use family/friends/in-laws.
Change/give up your job.
Don't have kids.

It's your responsibility to look after your children.

Alternatively, do what I did. Get a term-time job which guarantees you the school holidays off. Best part of that, is my children are now out of the school system and I still get 13 weeks off every year. sits back and enjoys the two week Easter break ...

My daughter's special school provides term time wrap around care but nothing in the holidays.
Yep. So few alternatives available.

It's your responsibility to look after your children.

Haas OP suggested otherwise? The question I read was, “what do people do.” Before I was faced with working it out, I wondered that too.

In our area there isn’t actually much offered for holiday care, most summer clubs run 10-4 which is a problem for f/t working parents. DDs after school club does a holiday club but at 35 quid per day it isn’t affordable for many families. I do think local authorities should look at subsidising holiday care for lower income families. I’d be happy for Council Tax to go towards that.

Respectfully longestlurker, you really need to be asking people who live in areas different to yours, and paying attention to those on the thread who've told you about the lack of provision in their areas. Like the OP for starters. I mean, she sets out in great detail what the issue is. I live in a large city too, and there's provision near me, but it shouldn't need explaining that not everyone does.

And honestly, the access to amenities thing is another way of saying do your research, which is moving towards cancel the cheque status on this thread. The idea that knowing what's available locally before you conceive means it'll stay available for the next decade is fanciful.

We paid for childcare for 18 long years. Three children, no family help. More than double the mortgage for a long time. It's shit, but it is what it is. That's before you even start to think about when they're sick.... and we were barely out the end of that before the first one went to uni.... and so it goes on.

Children are a bit of a luxury really!!!

I don't know how parents of children with illness involving hospital appointments manage. I've worked doing the admin of such appointments and have regularly had parents in tears stressing about the time off work needed

Combined, me and my husband both work and bring home a joint wage off £136 (when we are both working same day) a day. In the holidays childcare costs £84 for 3 children. He works 40 hours and ne 15 so we try to plan it for me working his days off. Meanwhile I am also at university while working part time. I also have placement which I dont get paid for but still need to find childcare. The problem we have is I need childcare from 10-1 as that's when we overlap work. so only 3 hours. But the settings run from 8-1 and 1-6 so I have to pay the full day. It's a struggle. I would be better off but working at all while my kids are little but I want to set a good example. Unfortunately due to I'll health in relatives we dont have family help and our friends have their own childcare situations. It's a struggle but it is what it is.

All I am saying is that in my area holiday provision is fine. There are plenty of people on this thread saying this country has terrible childcare, it’s so much better in (insert country here). I don’t see why it’s invalid to say actually there are plenty of options where I live and it’s one of the things I value. My council is supposedly one of the worst performing in the country and people are always complaining about it, and yet it manages to get this thing right, it seems. I don’t see why I can’t say so. I also think there’s a bit of a stigma about holiday clubs, with lots on here saying their children don’t like them, are shy or get tired or whatever, or “it’s not ideal but...”. Well, I am happy to say I send my dc to holiday clubs, and have done since they were 3. They’ve had some wonderful experiences and I have built some good friendships based on mutual support.

You need to get a childminder for the holidays ideally you should have been looking the year before dd started school

and a good tip for all parents who use term time only childminders ask them if they can devided the payment over 12 months I pay £49 a month for mine to attend during the holidays instead of paying a a big chunk at the end of a half term or summer

I can see how you wouldn't know something like that until if affected you. I had no idea that people put their babies names on nursery waiting lists shortly after birth for example until someone told me.

Easter holidays have almost bankrupted me here. Single parent, no family around, ex not really involved, no annual leave as the holiday year has just started and the company decided not to allow leave carry forward this year - so accumulated 18 days were wasted.

Did you not know that your child would have 13 weeks of school holidays before you had a child? It's not exactly front page news!
Lots of schools offer holiday clubs, not just for the children that attend that school. My school has a full time holiday club run by an external provider. I myself used a childminder for before and after care plus holidays until my DD could get into the school club.
There's a myriad of companies out there offering childcare for school aged children.

I can sympathise, but as a lone parent whose ex refused to help during school holidays as did my parents, I had to rely on holiday clubs ... it wasn't easy, nor was it cheap. However, I had no option but to suck it up. I did take turns with another parent in that one of us took both children to the club and the other collected them. That enabled us to get our working hours in.

One thing I can't help thinking, (and I know that parents have to work nowadays), is, when do the children get a break?

Certainly the young ones are exhausted at the end of term and then they have to be straight into clubs, or childminders or whatever if parents haven't any leave left. There's no lounging about the house for a while or sleeping in. Or playing with their friends. They still have to get up early to fit in with work patterns and won't necessarily be home at 4.

I feel sorry for everyone in this situation and I certainly don't know the answer.

We have a fantastic charity locally which provides after school and holiday childcare. We're very lucky.

What do you think they do at holiday club Nannyogg? It’s not the workhouse. And my dd gets plenty of opportunities to sleep in but I don’t think she has EVER taken me up on one!

There's a myriad of companies out there offering childcare for school aged children

Obviously from your post this is true where you live. But it's not true where I live. Where there are precisely zero such options.

@NannyOgg - my Dc’s were never home from school at 4pm as they went to after school club as did all their friends. Holiday clubs are fun, with DC’s having a countdown to going. It’s where their friends also go. When do children who are of the age of needing holiday childcare ever not get up early? Don’t think mine willingly had a lie in until they were teenagers.

I feel mean saying this but I think you're in a good position. Single mums work full time and don't have anyone to share cover with. You need to book holiday clubs, childminder, save holidays, build up Toil everything you can get to cover it all. It dies get easier as they get older in some ways. I know it is difficult but think you sound a bit daft asking AIBU as if the school holidays are some brand new information.

The whole concept of school holidays needs a thorough review imo. Children are no longer required to help with the harvest and mothers are no longer at home all day.

Surely, the answer is that school should operate all year round and people could be permitted to take children out of school for holidays during certain periods during the year, when the general curriculum would be suspended and an extension curriculum would be taught - a bit like holiday clubs, but for extended hours (to cover school hours plus after school club time) but with no charge to parents.

It is hard, I've been there. No grandparents or other family live close enough to help out. We've relied on pre and after school clubs, holiday clubs and calling in lots of favours from friends. It's tricky but you manage. Since the New Year I've landed myself a term time job which is great, no need for holiday clubs any more although I will still book DD in for a few days as she really enjoys it (and we'll both need a break from each other I should think!) During term time I again juggle and have a swap system with a friend where we pick up each others kids on days we're working too late to get them ourselves. It's manageable and I'm relieved to finally not be spending over half my monthly wages just on childcare. I don't even know how I used to afford it!!

NannyOgg's point is a good one.

It's about unscheduled time. Time to curl up with a book on your own bed on a rainy summer afternoon or the opportunity to create a game and make up the rules with the other children from your neighbourhood...

Overscheduling/having children in structured settings for too much time and the elimination of opportunities for children to develop important social-emotional skills is a problem for children's development.

mathanxiety

Exactly.

And yes, the clubs are fun. But they're still structured. They're still lively. And they're not home.

Again, I'm not criticising. They're a necessity these days. And they are fun with far more activities than the child has at home.

But would you like every day of your holiday structured and organised?

I wish I knew the answer.