You're 'barely pregnant'

[Habbs]

Had a 1 to 1 in work, all fine really but they said though the quality of my work is the same I am working a bit slower than usual. I explained I'm struggling to concentrate as hard as usual, I'm 24 weeks pregnant and that's probably something to do with it. My manager literally scoffed and said "I don't think we can go blaming that, you're barely pregnant!"

AIBU to be annoyed? I'm 6 months pregnant, twice the size I normally am, I've got awful sciatica and my legs cramp sitting at my desk for too long so need to stretch my legs more often. I'm also constantly weeing. These things do take time out of the working day. I definitely don't feel barely pregnant.

"This pregnancy crap" is the reason we are all here!

But, recognising the literal labour of women around continuing the human race has never been a priority, has it.

I have worked with men who took a 45 min shit with the paper every day. I've worked with men who spent all their time gossiping and flirting to get much actual work done. I've worked with men who were clearly alcoholic and performance was affected while that's a terrible situation to be in, the managers / workplaces turned a blind eye.

Getting women accepted in a wider range of workplaces and roles was a massive challenge that we have moved a lot forward with, although not there yet. The next step is saying OK we are here, now we need to face up to the fact that we have different needs to standard male employees, around certain things. This should not be insurmountable.

We bring value to workplaces, we should not be seen as being allowed to work as some kind of favour and as soon as our biology rears its head we are out.

My friend gave birth at 23 weeks (baby is now home and well). To say that you're barely pregnant is appalling when women give birth at the same gestation as you!

I agree with Saraclara. Whilst the “barely pregnant “ comment was ridiculous, we do ourselves no favours by expecting employers to assume that pregnant women will underperform. It’s exactly the attitude that makes employers reluctant to employ women of reproductive age. It’s not as if it’s inevitable, after all - plenty of pregnant women manage to carry on working normally right up to going on maternity leave, even when doing quite physical jobs. In fact, I’ve known some women work up to the point of going into labour - and in one case, even after that point.

Who on earth carries on working during labour? Is the job more important? I did a Google search looking for stories about employers not letting women leave the workplace to give birth but I didn’t find anything - to my surprise!

Some women have easy pregnancies. Some don’t.

Organisations continue to employ women of child bearing age. Otherwise no woman aged 18-40 would be in employment. Whilst a small company may be more wary, larger companies and the public sector are filled with millions of women of child bearing aged. In all my years of experience, nobody has ever been “reluctant” to hire a woman for that reason.

Ask for a pregnancy risk assessment. Most companies should do this as standard.

I’m only 11 weeks and work are bring great.

In fact, I’ve known some women work up to the point of going into labour - and in one case, even after that point.

Are you talking about that Uber driver?

Because that wasn’t seen as a positive thing.

Habbs I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this; it's almost a masterclass in how NOT to carry on and hope HR will help

Just one point though ... you've copied an instantly identifiable email from your boss on this thread, and I'm wondering if that could have repercussions for you, especially now they're getting such a kicking as a result? Given the policies many companies have around the use of social media, might it be wise to remove that quote?

This is my personal opinion and it's just as valid as any other. Lol. No, you're wrong about that, too.

Having the right to an opinion does not grant your opinion the status of being right.

I was vomiting enough to be hospitalised from week 7. Was that barely pregnant?

I think the 1970s are still looking for your boss .

I'm afraid that not only have I worked in a place where women of childbearing age definitely haven't had the same chance of being employed, I have spoken with several people socially, who admit 'off the record' that they are reluctant to employ a woman of that age if there's an alternative equally qualified candidate.

We absolutely DON'T help ourselves by telling bosses they should expect us not to be as productive as a non-pregnant woman.
Or if you do, don't get offended when they DO use words like baby brain. It's not as if, as women, we don't use that phrase about ourselves.

Like I said, we can't have it both ways.

Have you been to HR? This is appalling. You can feel dreadful from the start, I had issues with early bleeding so I needed "special treatment" at work from then!!

And one or two of the posters on here.

That's shocking!! Barely pregnant yet my baby was born a couple of weeks after that..... And is now almost 9..

Why shouldn’t women have it both ways? Men do - they can become parents and have a job. I expect the same. Our legal system also expects the same, so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

What an arse! There's no such thing as "barelt pregnant"; you either are pregnant or aren't. I'd go to HR

*barely

In all my years of experience, nobody has ever been “reluctant” to hire a woman for that reason.

You've been lucky, then. And if we start saying that employers must automatically expect pregnant women to be less able to work at their normal rate and to their normal standards, we will exacerbate that problem. Of course some will have problems which do mean adjustments have to be made, but those should be dealt with in the same way as we would expect employers to deal with anyone with a medical issue.

Are you talking about that Uber driver?

No, it was a woman in a professional job who was still taking work calls whilst in labour. And no, I'm not saying it's a positive thing.

'Menuplant'
I completely agree with your comments...I have been in jobs where men have spent most afternoons half-pissed after long lunches, no work being done, one member of a team I was managing was so ineffective that I had him referred to a doctor as I recognized the symptoms of diabetes...he used to drink 5 or 6 pints every lunchtime ...but nothing was done as he was " one of the lads " . When I got pregnant I was told I was letting the side down , subsequently marked down and lost a promotion.
Thankfully moved on to a better post...
as pp's have said everybody is different and pregnancies can be different , I was sick as a dog with my first and have never felt fitter than I was at 36 weeks with my second..I did work right up to the end then so I could extend my mat leave afterwards...
There is still a huge difference in attitudes to work performance by men and women and that is a societal disgrace.

I hope HR bollock him. I was hospitalised for three days at 6 weeks pregnant with hyperemesis and was subsequently signed off work for three months until medication/hormones evened out. I couldn’t get out of bed or go downstairs in my own home during this time so I’d love to know how he’d have dealt with me and my pregnancy. So ignorant.

What an utterly stupid and flippant comment, regardless that your over halfway in your pregnancy any stage can be difficult. I suffered from Obstetric cholestasis in both my pregnancies with my first it started at 15 weeks and was awful luckily my bosses were fantastic and I soldiered on until 33 weeks until medical emergency prevented me working any longer, also my role had to alter after risk assessment due to being pregnant regarding lifting and amount of work etc I would think it common knowledge that things may alter regarding work pace regardless of the type of job, as others have said this is definitely a hr issue if they are trying to dispute the amount of work completed

We absolutely DON'T help ourselves by telling bosses they should expect us not to be as productive as a non-pregnant woman.

No-one has said that. Certainly not OP.

OP raised the issue of specific, short-term physical health problems she is already experiencing, for which she seeks reasonable accommodations.

She made no claims about pregnancy per se, nor issued any forewarnings. The only people making such generalised claims about pregnancy are the thread's contrarians.

Should men suffering with back pain, leg injuries and shingles - likewise short-term (though potentially recurring) physical conditions, also be refused reasonable accomodations and overlooked for employment?

Misogyny at its highest level. Report the idiot. Want to say something ruder.

I had my baby at the stage you are now. You are very definately NOT 'barely pregnant'.

Seen quite a few posts saying about how I'm expecting my employer to assume that pregnant employees will underperform. This isn't the case. I'm not missing deadlines, I'm ensuring all submitted work is of the same high standard, these are the most important aspects of the role. I also didn't expect them to assume anything, I literally told them I'm struggling to get as much done per day but that I am prioritising to ensure all important deadlines are met.

I didn't expect them to just allow me to 'underperform', I didn't expect it to not be mentioned, I simply wanted to have a discussion about what reasonable adjustments could be made to possibly help this and just to make him aware of the situation. I don't think it's unreasonable, especially as I only have 40 shifts left until maternity leave. It's not been the entire pregnancy, it's just this last leg of work that's starting to become difficult due to various health reasons.

My issue, and why I'm posting is the insinuation he is making that my pregnancy is not far along enough to explain these changes, and that it is down to me just not bothering, or not working as hard when that isn't true. Pregnancy isn't an illness but some of the things that come hand in hand with it can make you seriously ill and as women it's not our choice to either work or have babies, we can do both. If we are getting nothing done and struggling to continue then most employers, Midwife's and doctors will sign you off, but if on the whole you are capable of working with some reasonable, and temporary adjustments then that's entirely fair and shouldn't be viewed as women asking for special treatment - the world as we know it would quite literally end if we all stopped having babies and it's not wrong to want our employers to acknowledge that although it is our choice to have children it is also our right to be supported through it.