You're 'barely pregnant'

[Habbs]

Had a 1 to 1 in work, all fine really but they said though the quality of my work is the same I am working a bit slower than usual. I explained I'm struggling to concentrate as hard as usual, I'm 24 weeks pregnant and that's probably something to do with it. My manager literally scoffed and said "I don't think we can go blaming that, you're barely pregnant!"

AIBU to be annoyed? I'm 6 months pregnant, twice the size I normally am, I've got awful sciatica and my legs cramp sitting at my desk for too long so need to stretch my legs more often. I'm also constantly weeing. These things do take time out of the working day. I definitely don't feel barely pregnant.

@saraclara I said in the op, and to my manager, that I'm struggling to concentrate and that it'll be due to my pregnancy. He then belittled that, told me I'm barely pregnant and then made further comments about needing to get on top of my performance before 'baby brain' kicks in when I'm 'more' pregnant. Of course I'm offended! I don't really believe he is recognising it as you say he is, more that he's dismissing it, saying it's not a viable 'excuse' at this point and that I need to brainstorm ideas to fix it. In reality I'm probably not going to be able to pick up the momentum to like I was before as I get further along, and the fact that I'm not missing deadlines or letting the standard do my work fall, only the quantity would show that I am giving it a good go! I don't want to have my cake and eat it, I've said I'm struggling due to the pregnancy but am doing my best and that should be accepted, rather than being told it's not due to my pregnancy - I can only do what I can do!

Details sent over to HR, thanks everyone for the advice

Keep that email and also show it to HR. Referencing "baby brain" is also discriminatory and unprofessional.
^^Email this plus any related correspondence from him/HR/the company generally to your personal email address in case it's necessary afterwards and you don't have access to your company email account.

Check your company's intranet site or any hard copy manual you have to double check your mutual rights and responsibilities are.

Also keep a log (also emailed to your personal email address) of any verbal comments your manager has made in case you need this later.

I'm glad you sent everything to HR. I can't believe that a manager thinks they can make comments like that in this day and age!

And don't feel bad, I feel completely useless at work for my entire pregnancy. You're a lot more tired and constantly forgetting what you're trying to do!

Thankfully employment laws protect pregnant women very well so you don't have to excuse yourself to anyone.

Arsehole. I've been in several jobs where there are strict limitations during pregnancy and no one has dared complain about performance (because the union would have a field day).

The only downside I've found of pregnancy in the workplace is you tend to get lumbered with more paperwork, but everyone wins as you can sit down more and others can offload their paperwork.

My manager is a man with no kids!! Will speak to HR.

And thats the root cause of the problem. I've got some male mates only one has a child there is a world of difference in attuide from the have to the have nots. I reckon that this is why theres a lot of problems in relationships when children arrive it takes quite a lot of adjustment and sometimes time to cope with the changes.

Wow. Absolutely this is pregnancy discrimination, speak to HR.

Just pass him a bigger spade why don't you

What a fool

Well done for speaking to HR. I’m only 5 weeks pregnant, so god knows what he’d class that as, and I’m struggling a lot with work, everything is making me nauseous and I’m tired all the time. He needs a good talking to, pregnancy is a difficult time and he needs to understand how to make it easier for those under his care

Yeah agree with others, I was fully expecting to open this and for you to say you were 6 weeks not 6 months pregnant, bloody hell

I thought that although his email was tactless, he was at least trying to accommodate you.

His email doesn't suggest that he was trying to accommodate the OP. Rather, his concerns seemed to be around how she could maintain her productivity despite pregnancy.

I was off a lot on a Friday when I was pregnant as by a Friday I could barely stand and was expected to stand in a warm building for 8 hours a day with only 30 mins break.

So my manager wanted a meeting with me as it was unacceptable to be phoning in on a Friday. However I had always said it was pregnancy related illness and so they couldn't touch me. I then put in a 3 week sick line and of course when it said stress on it they bent over backwards to help me.

However when I was about 8 weeks I had some bleeding while at work and phoned my boss to go home to be told "no one can cover you, you'll just need to soldier on"

I love it that he put it in writing. He just made it much easier for you

OMG - what a pillock. Hope HR puts him straight.

6 days late = possibly pregnant
6 months = PREGNANT

^ this.

Once you have confirmed you are pregnant. You are pregnant. Not barely or slightly or any other phrase ignorant people want to use. This annoys me no end. Good luck and good for you for speaking up, it will help future women in that situation as well as you hopefully.

What an idiot!

I agree with saraclara it's very much a fine line between saying you're not performing as well at your job because you're pregnant and then being upset/offended when he agrees! I think perhaps he just phrased it tactlessly. I'm not sure what you're aiming to achieve other than getting him in trouble which is going to make him think twice about employing more women of child bearing age in the future

Whether we like it or not/choose to accept it or not pregnancy is an inconvenience to employers and colleagues and we are very well protected legally during pregnancy already x

I believe Toby Ziegler put it best when he said “pregnancy as I understand it is a binary state” so you’re unlikely to get more pregnant

His email doesn't suggest that he was trying to accommodate the OP. Rather, his concerns seemed to be around how she could maintain her productivity despite pregnancy.

Well yes. She has a job, and she needs to be able to carry it out. If pregnant women can't do their job, then as someone else said, people are even less likely to employ women who might get pregnant.

Again, there's a double standard running through this thread, when you read people's posts.
There's the "How dare people say pregnant women can't do their jobs properly, and there's the "how dare he not accept that she can't do her job properly at the moment" posts going along side by side.

I agree with saraclara it's very much a fine line between saying you're not performing as well at your job because you're pregnant and then being upset/offended when he agrees!

He said she wasn't really pregnant enough to be affected, I don't believe he really agreed with anything.

My now late 20s brainbox cousin was born at 25 weeks, what a daft remark from your manager.

Yes do raise with HR. Very insensitive.

Had a 1 to 1 in work, all fine really but they said though the quality of my work is the same I am working a bit slower than usual.

The Op is working fine, she's slightly slower due to a medical issue.

Ill people will work differently to abled bodied people, shall we say employers are doing them a favour in employing them? Needing to wee constantly is a medical condition it doesn't require mocking form the employer.

How very U to send the details to your HR Department rather than walking over there and gently talking about it and what he said in the meeting, and then going on to pull out the piece of paper and adding "Then he sent me this message which felt a bit uncomfortable"

Just only to see the actual look on their faces!!!

It's a bit like how if you won the lottery you wouldn't send your best friend a postcard you'd make sure you went round with a bottle of champagne to get the reaction yourself. Well like that, but the opposite

Your boss sounds like a total twat. It's hard enough working whilst pregnant but having someone make ignorant comments like that would be make me so angry. I had HG in my first trimester with DD and it carried on into the second for a few weeks too and the exhaustion was just another level. I wasn't even showing much but I honestly felt like giving up some days as I couldn't retain information and was back and forward to the bathroom several times a day being sick. I would have taken more time off but it's people like your boss that make you feel like you need to power through when it's mega tough. My line manager was sympathetic but his boss wasn't and I was never cut any slack with work load even though they knew how sick I was. I would love to see how some off these bosses would manage pregnancy symptoms whilst holding down a full time job Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, OP.