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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is an odd request from a new work colleague?

243 replies

Jellyhater · 04/04/2019 21:05

I work in residential care and have just employed a new member of staff. We discussed sleep-ins and she said that she would be able to do one a month on average but would try to be as flexible as possible.

She is now saying that sleep-ins are going to be a problem for her as the other member of staff on duty for that shift is male. He will be in another bedroom at the other end of the house if he is sleeping in, or will be working in the office/ laundry area if he is doing a waking night shift.

She has asked that I facilitate her husband being able to meet this particular member of staff to alleviate his anxieties about her being away from home. There are other men that work in the home, so any of them could cover this shift at any point - does the husband want to vet the whole staff team?!

I want to be a sarky cow and remind her that she had many weeks to tell me that this is going to cause problems but has chosen not to. I am feeling a bit frustrated that she thinks she can manipulate the roster to her benefit and that she is implying that the male staff are not trustworthy. I absolutely will not be arranging any meetings for the husband. A tiny part of me is concerned that this might be some kind of DV issue.

I've not been able to discuss this with anyone at work but AIBU to think she is probably going to be more trouble than she is worth?

OP posts:
Mememeplease · 10/04/2019 10:20

Especially now you know she tells blatant lies too.
Get rid.

Mememeplease · 10/04/2019 10:22

And yes, the lies pose a serious risk to the well being of the residents. She's proved she isn't adverse to falsifying records.

ewenice · 10/04/2019 10:47

People are CFs. We had interviews for a job at my company - high up, well paid, full time all very clear in job description and job interview. Job was offered to someone who said fabulous thank you and then announced she could only work two days a week. Was very surprised when the offer was retracted.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/04/2019 11:12

Not only is she ... unwilling (or unable) to perform functions of the job spec / role - but she's also a manipulative liar!

Sadly, IME the two often go together

To push this beyond the probation period, she'll probably claim she told OP during interview that she was TTC, and that she's now pregnant and is therefore being discriminated against Hmm

ThanosSavedMe · 10/04/2019 11:20

Time to readvertise the job, she’s not going to work out, better you know now. Good luck

NorthEndGal · 10/04/2019 11:23

It sounds like she thinks she can get away with picking and choosing which parts of the job she does, while being paid as though she was doing a full role

ineedaknittedhat · 10/04/2019 11:34

I've worked in care for donkeys years and it is a common tactic amongst workers to start a job then announce they can't do this or that shift citing family issues as a reason.

There may be a genuine reason why she's now saying this, but it's more likely she's trying to manipulate shift patterns.

PepsiLola · 10/04/2019 13:53

Out of fairness to all other staff she has to go!

HavelockVetinari · 10/04/2019 15:00

She's a liar, you can prove that since the other panel member remembers her saying she could do nights. That's all you need to sack her, no one wants a liar working for them.

Giddyuppp · 10/04/2019 15:11

Lucky you found out now! Jheeze.

IrmaFayLear · 12/04/2019 11:41

As I mentioned upthread, there is frequently the advice on MN when a poster says, "I've found an ideal job, but it's full time - what should I do?" to accept/start the job and then ask for two days a week.

I wonder if the CF I don't do nights worker has been on the "Returning to work" boards on here...

notacooldad · 12/04/2019 11:49

I've found an ideal job, but it's full time - what should I do?" to accept/start the job and then ask for two days a week
I always roll my eyes at that advice.
Everyone at my place does sleepovers including the manager and deputy. They rota themselves on fairly including Friday and Saturday nights. We have had people that have applied for full time jobs, accepted, done the induction and then said they want part time (28 hrs) they then get upset when it is refused. My manager has had to say numerous times that the time to raise hours was in the interview as the interview is a two way process to see if they candidate is right for the job and the job is right for the candidate.

notacooldad · 12/04/2019 11:49

I meant 18 hours for pt bot 28!!

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 12/04/2019 12:07

I'd be massively annoyed if I was an employer and hired someone who tried to change their agreed hours as soon as they started. I'd feel lied to and manipulated and would be inclined to get rid of them.

IrmaFayLear · 12/04/2019 12:35

What might have been better was to accept the role with the hours specified and successfully complete your probation, after which you have the right to formally request FW (after 26 weeks).

I only had a quick glance at "Employment Issues" on MN and this piece of advice was given.

TheWernethWife · 12/04/2019 22:03

You have a right to formally request a change in hours but it can be refused.

IrmaFayLear · 13/04/2019 09:35

The advice is accurate, but as an employer I'd be sighing if a new employee was all eager beaver about the job and then mentioned part-time the minute they'd crossed the probation line.

I was a school governor for many years and at one time the Head nearly exploded when a new full-time teacher asked to reduce her days to one a week . There was some kerfuffle as the teacher had thought she had the right to do one day a week as opposed the right to ask for this.

gilchrist168 · 13/04/2019 10:02

Jellyhater you have been so professional in all of this. I would have such peace mind knowing that a family member was a resident in your care.

Original poster
Jellyhater · 13/04/2019 15:54

@gilchrist168 Thanks. That’s kind of you to say.

We are an ‘outstanding’ provision and I am proud of that. I genuinely believe that the reason we achieved this was partly due to the staff commitment to the service users. When people start being vocal before they have even passed their probation, I don’t want to imagine how they are likely to behave during an inspection or beyond. In an ideal world, my time should be spent fighting for the residents and their rights and not organising ‘out of work drinkies’ for jealous partners! This has taken up so much of my time which could have been better spent!

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I shall be giving Indeed a swerve for now!!

OP posts:
OffToBedhampton · 14/04/2019 21:49

I think you've been great too @Jellyhater

Love your focus on your residents, their service and how your staff team need to be focused on them.

I hope this gets resolved, she doesn't sound good news, you have a lovely professional and kind attitude.

Original poster
Jellyhater · 17/04/2019 23:21

And so she resigned.

Thank you and goodnight!

OP posts:
TheweewitchRoz · 17/04/2019 23:33

Brilliant outcome (although realise you now have the headache of replacing her but that will hopefully be a short term headache rather than the nightmare she would have been!)

OffToBedhampton · 18/04/2019 00:29

😍😍😍😁😁😁
And onto next recruitment OP! Good luck and thanku for update xxx

KaterinaPetrova · 18/04/2019 20:39

So glad to hear that. She was obviously not a good fit for the job seeing that she decided she wasn't going to do all the parts of her job once she got it. I hope you find someone more suitable very soon.

churchthecat · 18/04/2019 20:43

Haha! Hooray! What reason did she give?