DH thinks we're going to get arrested in Dubai

[willyougobacktobed]

Going to Dubai next week for Easter on a mini break with DH. As a tactile couple who enjoys a couple of drinks with dinner he's getting really anxious that we're going to get arrested if we a) unthinkingly give each other a peck on the cheek or b) share a bottle of wine and have a giggle.

He has googled their strict laws and legal systems LOTS.

I think he's BU, his worries and mithering are making me not look as forward to a holiday I've saved hard for as much as I otherwise would.

Are we going to get arrested?!

@heidivodca how are the women's rights there better than the uk?

I think mithering is exactly the right response to a planned holiday in Dubai and I've travelled through UAE and worked in Muslim countries in Africa.
The laws are restrictive. You need to respect them and I'd be concerned that you're not taking it seriously.

You don't want to be arrested? Simple.

Don't drink and save your affection for your hotel room. The latter will be easier if you're sober.

Sorted.

Somebody I knew got a short term job over there - complained bitterly that they wouldn't be allowed to take their usual recreational substances, wear revealing clothing and cop off with whoever they wanted of either sex when I pointed out that the country has some strict laws that it would be a good idea to read up on. All I could say was that, well, them's the laws, you need to decide whether the job is worth behaving for 12 weeks or not.

They managed. It's worth it, apparently, if you like that sort of place - not my kind of thing as it's too damn hot and I don't go a load on slavery or institutionalised misogyny.

You're only going for a short period. If my drug using, heavily drinking, LBQT+ acquaintance can do it for three months, I'm pretty sure you can for a holiday.

Well you've got two options really. Be careful about/manage drinking and behaviour that might be risky so you don't have to worry while you enjoy Dubai, or if you want the freedom to do whatever you want pick another destination.

🙏 @user - try RAK or Fujairah if you want peace and quiet ? And yes the people are lovely here (except drunken obnoxious Brits - please stay away !)

"Rights for women here are better than the U.K. imo!"
Oh do explain how!

The rules and culture you describe are why places like Dubai will not be a holiday, work or living place for me. It's quite clear that they don't want people like me there!

@heidivodca @user1498572889 that's really helpful and as I thought, thank you. We're obviously planning on being respectful and thoughtful but had some scary things in the tabloids

the life here for all of us is better than our home country

That’s funny because the trafficked construction workers from Bangladesh and India say they’re not allowed to leave but suicide is a better option than staying.

@ cab - that is my experience and I live here! So how are they not?

Brighton might be a better destination for you OP? New York since you're prepared to do long-haul?

Your individual experience doesn't tell us anything about what life is generally like.

Human rights organizations have complained about violations of human rights in Dubai. Most notably, some of the 250,000 foreign laborers in the city have been alleged to live in conditions described by Human Rights Watch as being "less than humane".[

The UAE's judicial system is derived from the civil law system and Sharia law. The court system consists of civil courts and Sharia courts. According to Human Rights Watch, UAE's civil and criminal courts apply elements of Sharia law, codified into its criminal code and family law, in a way which discriminates against women.

It's a shithole by the way. Run and built on the slave trade and abuse of children in household staff roles. Funded by the oil industry and the baron families who are literally happy to watch the world burn. But enjoy your holiday op! 🤷🏻‍♀️

You can hold hands in public no problem and in a large hotel you could probably snog publicly too - especially if you are married. But is that really necessary?

As for out in public, so long as you don't stick your tongue down his throat and your hands down his trousers or fall over drunk with snatch on show, it will probably be just fine.

You can manage without doing any of those things, can't you?

I work with people from lots of people from South Asia - some have been here over 20 years and no one living here are complaining - so please don’t on their behalf !!

We go as a couple or family most years, OH and I hold hands and will have a cuddle whilst around the hotels but don't away from them. Tbh when we were there last I saw some serious frolicking going on around by the pool that I would have been shocked at in the EU let alone Dubai but the staff didn't bat an eyelid. Ive been going for 20 years and I've never had any trouble and OH and I are not married.

Ok, so now I see why the OP has posted. It's to have a discussion about Dubai laws. She/He could have just started a discussion rather than a wide-eyed innocent post about her going on holiday for a weekend with her DH.

You should be OK in your hotel, but don't touch each other up at all in public. Ask the hotel where you can go if you want to drink alcohol other than in the hotel bar and your room, and check on the rules for beaches etc. I think your DH is right - you do need to be careful. The rules can change, and if you manage to upset a Dubai national and he makes a complaint, then things would get very difficult. Keep your hands off each other in public, and go berserk in your hotel room is my advice.

DH and I went a couple of years ago but not leave Atlantis resort. I was stared at constantly by blokes (and I’m no super model) and generally felt s bit uneasy - and that was just in the resort. We didn’t drink, but only because it was too ridiculously expensive. £15 a pint or something stupid like that. A can of coke cost nearly a tenner. I wouldn’t rush to go back.

Run and built on the slave trade and abuse of children in household staff roles.

As were we.

It's a shithole by the way.

It's really not. It might not be everyone's cup of tea (it's not mine especially) but it's certainly not a shithole. Quite the opposite.

This is why I stay in Canada

I've been to Dubai a lot. Whilst I'm there I drink a lot and have a lot of fun, as do many tourists and expats. Drinking is a big thing privately, especially on Friday brunch.
Yes there have been a few arrests but idiot brits abroad also get arrested in span etc.
All the bars and restaurants you can drink alcohol in are inside private hotels and you can be affectionate as you normally would being respectful in a public place.
You can't drink in the in public places such as the street or malls and just tone down the affection, holding hands is fine, snogging and groping, not fine.
You just wear usual holiday clothes out and about, obviously bikinis are fine in hotels and beaches, but you shouldn't go topless.
The only exception is in the month of Ramadan when you must dress conservatively whilst out and can't eat in drink in public places. Again all fine in hotels and private places.
They rely heavily on and have a huge tourist industry, your OH is being a drama queen.

The Daily Mail is as correct about Dubai as it is about everything else it spouts! Women are promoted here (I work for an amazing Emirati woman - and the men are lovely too!) - sorry but it m fed up of hearing DM nonsense repeated on mums-net all the time about my home!!

@Ellenborough I don't do any of those things in the UK, so yes I think I'll manage away