Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH thinks we're going to get arrested in Dubai

714 replies

willyougobacktobed · 04/04/2019 18:34

Going to Dubai next week for Easter on a mini break with DH. As a tactile couple who enjoys a couple of drinks with dinner he's getting really anxious that we're going to get arrested if we a) unthinkingly give each other a peck on the cheek or b) share a bottle of wine and have a giggle.

He has googled their strict laws and legal systems LOTS.

I think he's BU, his worries and mithering are making me not look as forward to a holiday I've saved hard for as much as I otherwise would.

Are we going to get arrested?!

OP posts:
Ellenborough · 07/04/2019 06:39

Where do you go, out of interest?

Or where would you go, given the money/opportunity?

SagradaFamilia: Ooh fetch a saucer of milk!

No need for such a comment.

It would have been easy for someone to answer my initial question with 'I only ever go to France and Scotland' but that might be purely because of the constraints of budget, or a fear of flying or something else irrelevant to this discussion. Not because of any decisions based on conscience. That's why I widened the question to something more hypothetical.

Sagradafamiliar · 07/04/2019 08:11

Of course. Money/opportunity are quite specific and irrelevant to things like phobias. I'm sure your money/opportunity question was definitely not alluding to the idea that the people who object holidaying in Dubai are only doing so because they could never afford it and are only envious of those superficials who can. Nothing to do with having a moral conscience, oh no.

SammySamSam09 · 07/04/2019 08:43

My dh has been there for work and I am often invited by the company to accompany him too but I always politely refuse. I have respect for their culture. I don't agree with it though which is why I decline.

SimonJT · 07/04/2019 08:47

I worked in Dubai for six months, I would say only go there if you’re comfortable seeing families slaves being dragged around and treated like nothing more than animals.

You have to remember, by visiting those places you are supporting and funding those sorts of things.

Ellenborough · 07/04/2019 08:49

I'm not going to argue semantics with you Sagrada

I added the bit about budget and opportunity because the only thing I was interested in was where people do go, or would go theoretically, without having any issues of conscience. I didn't want to exclude people who don't go anywhere outside of northern/Western Europe (for whatever reason) from having an opinion on it.

You misunderstood me the first time (I'm prepared to accept it may have read differently to how it was meant) and you chose to be snide about it. Fine.

Having had it explained, you are still choosing to be snide about it.

Over the years I've observed that there are people on MN who will argue vociferously on a topic they feel strongly about, no holds barred on that topic, but manage to be polite and gracious, give credit where it's due, happy to agree on what they do agree on, even if they disagree hugely on something else, and apologise or at least just acquiesce when they make the wrong assumption about something/someone.

Then there are the others. The ones who are incapable of giving an inch on anything when they've marked you as the enemy.

I know which ones I have the most respect for, even if we are on opposite sides of an argument.

twickersmumtobe · 07/04/2019 09:39

I have been to Dubai a few times and have friends and family who live out there.
You can hold hands and give your partner a kiss in public without getting arrested, as long as you're not a same sex couple and it doesn't get steamy.
You can wear what you like around the hotel/resort areas bikini, etc. The air conditioning is pretty good everywhere so you might want to think about a few layers.
If you like a few drinks and nice food find a decent Friday brunch, there you will likely find a few local westerners that will teach you all you need to know but careful they may encourage shots 😉

Ferret27 · 07/04/2019 09:49

Fair enough .. the point I first tried to make was that people post about how lovely things are for their family as a good reason to continue to go somewhere.

But what about the children of those with no or little choice and protection... any sleight was not directed at your kids... but you know that... they are where they are because of their parents choices .. hopefully you are not really completely blind to what places like Dubai are all about and will stand up in some way when you see injustice

breeze44 · 07/04/2019 09:55

Sheogorath as I already explained at length on another thread you are on, we want fairness not equality from the law. Fairness that takes into account the differences between men and women. In our religion it is not allowed for anyone, male or female, to accuse another of a crime without proof.
As for Saudi Arabia, it’s a strange example as I know many Muslim women who have been there for Hajj and Umrah and they loved it and would love to go back.
And I’m not ‘making excuses’ as I don’t have to justify myself to anyone. I have as much right to my opinion as anyone else.

Sagradafamiliar · 07/04/2019 10:10

Ellen how very dare I. You sure told me didn't you 😂 the condescension oozes from your post. Your question was silly and patronising in the first instance- I made a comment to indicate I found your attitude quite elitist and you didn't like it so chose to pull me up on it instead of allowing me my opinion. Ok.
I still think your question was obtuse: after all, where on earth do you think people go on holiday who don't agree with the likes of Dubai? The choices are vast. Anywhere Sharia law doesn't apply? Somewhere where human rights are enshrined in law? Anywhere in the world which sits comfortably with one's moral compass perhaps? Honestly, what a daft question.

Sagradafamiliar · 07/04/2019 10:13

'You misunderstood me' 'I'm prepared to accept' 'you still won't acquiesce' 😂😂 who the fuck speaks to others like that?

Ferret27 · 07/04/2019 10:15

Danvers ... Re read your own posts ... not much kindness in your tone .... and plenty of assumptions made ... Lots of family friendly countries that accommodate additional needs ...where humans are treated more equally... luckily you probably fit the demograph that doesn’t have to worry yourself too much about where in the world you travel.....

bellinisurge · 07/04/2019 10:16

I wouldn't go to Dubai if you paid for my holiday. Why go to some sort of enclave where the rules that apply to everyone who lives there don't apply to me.
Plenty of other places to visit in the whole wide world.

Windowsareforcheaters · 07/04/2019 10:33

@Sagradafamiliar

You misunderstood me' 'I'm prepared to accept' 'you still won't acquiesce' 😂😂 who the fuck speaks to others like that?

People with manners who wouldn't mock people for how they talk and write.

I agree with your general point but mocking others isn't the way to go in proving your point.

I wouldn't feel comfortable having a holiday in a location built in the very recent past (is it still happening?) on the bones of slave Labour.

Sagradafamiliar · 07/04/2019 10:54

I was laughing because the tone was incredibly outraged and schoolmatronly, I was spoken down to by somebody who is clearly used to belittling her 'inferiors' which is why I gave those examples. This tone and the fact pp genuinely expected me to give her an apology and/or acquiesce for taking a comment exactly as it was intended, shows a comical sense of entitlement, I'm sorry you thought I was mocking her use of language in general, window.

Sagradafamiliar · 07/04/2019 10:57

To further clarify, I was commenting on how I was being spoken down to by an individual. I'm free to defend myself. I would never, ever mock anyone for how they speak and write, not when I'm forrin. Never, ever.

swingofthings · 07/04/2019 11:09

@breeze, than you for posting here as a muslim women. It is very tiring to read about western women who assumed that all women think and want the same from life as they are. It is completely self-focused and lacks the reflective attribute that thry don't represent all women in this planet. Even as a westerner non-religiois person myself, I don't identify as the most common views of women in this country.

I was fortunate to spend part of my life working and socialising with muslim women very involved in their community and my experience was nothing like what is stereotyped in media or forums like this one. I was raised as an independent woman but could associate very much to the values and beliefs of Muslim women.

I guess it is hard for some women who think that having the freedom to more or less do what you want when you want with who you want that it might not be something that all women aspire to as a form of freedom.

Sheogorath · 07/04/2019 11:17

Sheogorath as I already explained at length on another thread you are on, we want fairness not equality from the law. Fairness that takes into account the differences between men and women. In our religion it is not allowed for anyone, male or female, to accuse another of a crime without proof.

Women have been jailed for reporting rape. That is sickening. Are you really defending that?
As for Saudi Arabia, it’s a strange example as I know many Muslim women who have been there for Hajj and Umrah and they loved it and would love to go back.

I wonder if the people living under such an oppressive regime love it too.

BadLad · 07/04/2019 11:20

'You misunderstood me' 'I'm prepared to accept' 'you still won't acquiesce' 😂😂 who the fuck speaks to others like that?

Captain Barbossa did in Pirates of the Carribean.

clairemcnam · 07/04/2019 11:24

swingofthings You are being incredibly patronising. You have no idea of the ethnicity, religious or cultural background of anyone posting on this thread. And newsflash - one Muslim women does not speak for all Muslim women.
You also deny and ignore by your comment all the Muslim women living under oppressive religious regimes fighting against those. Are you ignoring that? Or do you know nothing about it?

Of course people brought up in different cultures think about basic concepts and values differently. The perception of time, the idea of individual rights versus family, etc etc. I am well aware of all that.
But newsflash. No woman of whatever culture, religion or ethnicity wants to be raped, and then have to keep quiet about it because otherwise they will go to prison. No women wants to be beaten up by her husband or male relatives and be unable to do anything about it.

I genuinely think if we still had Atlantic black slavery there would be people posting on here saying how all the outraged white people simply do not understand that black slaves want different things in life and are happy with their life.

Personally I believe in universal rights not to be enslaved, beaten up or raped.

The idea of cultural relativity has a lot to answer for.

Sagradafamiliar · 07/04/2019 11:31

Bad Grin

SinisterBumFacedCat · 07/04/2019 11:36

I wouldn’t go there for a free holiday. I know someone who was imprisoned their because his business went under when his business partner did a runner. Also someone told me years ago they went out there to spend a wodge of money they had “acquired” and didn’t want to pay tax on. That and their treatment of women, and the immigrants they exploit to build their Disneyland, theme park city.

breeze44 · 07/04/2019 11:59

swingofthings you are not the one being patronising on here. The patronising ones are those who simply cannot accept that others think differently to them. Thank you for your post.

Sheogorath · 07/04/2019 15:39

I can accept that other people think differently. I cannot accept that mysigonic and homophobic laws are okay.

DantesInferno · 07/04/2019 17:23

I was just coming to post that story @Wheret0n0w

just shows what a lovely place Dubai is

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.