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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH thinks we're going to get arrested in Dubai

714 replies

willyougobacktobed · 04/04/2019 18:34

Going to Dubai next week for Easter on a mini break with DH. As a tactile couple who enjoys a couple of drinks with dinner he's getting really anxious that we're going to get arrested if we a) unthinkingly give each other a peck on the cheek or b) share a bottle of wine and have a giggle.

He has googled their strict laws and legal systems LOTS.

I think he's BU, his worries and mithering are making me not look as forward to a holiday I've saved hard for as much as I otherwise would.

Are we going to get arrested?!

OP posts:
LimeKiwi · 05/04/2019 21:38

Won’t be long before it’s like that in the UK - some pockets of the country are under these ‘laws’ now and there is nothing the govmt can do about it

Sorry but - you wot?! Is it hell! Nowhere in the UK is under any kind of alternative law.
Maybe some living here do practise Sharia for example, as we're a multiple faith country and tolerant, but it is absolutely definitely not the definitive and the laws of the UK reside first.
Utter scaremongering alarmist post

MitziK · 05/04/2019 21:46

FFS, not another demented Islamophobic poster.

Sparklykittycat · 05/04/2019 22:03

@willyougobacktobed I lived in Dubai and married an Arabic guy. There are many touristy hotspots where you’ll see happy couples walking and holding hands but I wouldn’t recommend public displays of affection as I was once approached by a local and given a stern talking to for resting my head on my husbands shoulder whilst ordering coffee in costa. My husband ended up profusely apologizing to her in Arabic which fascinated me of how offended she was but that’s their rules I guess. Bare in mind I lived there for 4 years and that was a first.

LimeKiwi · 05/04/2019 22:05

@Strokethefurrywall
Meh - I've been drunk in plenty of muslim countries and frankly, given the state and behavior of the wretches falling out of nightclubs throughout most of the UK (already eagerly awaiting photos from Aintree)

That's the point, though, Stroke. You can get drunk/stagger around in UK. Anywhere, In the majority of the UAE alcohol is illegal unless you're a Westerner with money and then we'll relax our illegal alcohol laws

LimeKiwi · 05/04/2019 22:07

Sorry, should have been a full stop after the Anywhere! Point lost with a comma as it looks like I mean it in relation to UAE. Oops

clairemcnam · 05/04/2019 23:17

Why have quite a few posters who are having a go at those of us who object to human rights abuses, accused us all of quoting from the Daily Mail when not one of us have posted links from there? Is this something employers there say? That it is all lie posted by the Daily Mail? Neglecting to mention all the published reports and research from human rights organisations?

itsbetterthanabox · 05/04/2019 23:25

Just don't drink.

mixedkebab · 05/04/2019 23:54

Op, if you want a realistic and objective opinion from someone who lived there for 13 years ( rather than the opinions of some of the "misinformed" posters who have never set foot in Dubai) send me a pm x

LimeKiwi · 06/04/2019 00:30

Op, if you want a realistic and objective opinion from someone who lived there for 13 years ( rather than the opinions of some of the "misinformed" posters who have never set foot in Dubai) send me a pm

Fair enough, but I'm still waiting for an answer to see how life is better in UAE for women

clairemcnam · 06/04/2019 00:52

And as I said better taking government advice and Lonely Planet advice than the advice of some random on the internet.
I have been in other countries where I have seen tourists do things that the foreign office warn you not to do in that country. Sure some people get away with it, but why risk it? I always follow foreign office advice and Lonely Planet advice. And I have been to a number of places that are seen as quite risky to travel to.

burnthewitchhellmouth · 06/04/2019 01:20

LimeKiwi there’s nothing tolerant about Sharia Law.

I worked with a couple of female Muslim solicitors who provided legal advice to women who fell foul of Sharia. Tolerance and Sharia law really don’t go together.

Strokethefurrywall · 06/04/2019 02:12

.... but I'm still waiting for an answer to see how life is better in UAE for women

Which wasn't actually a question of the OPs, and kind of proves the point that every single thread about Dubai goes the same way regardless of the question asked.

I genuinely believe it's because Dubai caters to, as the snobbery classes perceives it, "Chavs" so it makes it easier to shout down all those that would deign to visit it as ill-educated and dismissive of human rights.

"How can you live with yourself going to such a backward place?!" says nobody ever about India. Or China. Or Malaysia. Or anywhere else in the world where women are oppressed or considered a second class citizen.

burnthewitchhellmouth · 06/04/2019 02:33

Stroke I wouldn’t go to any of those places and neither would my friends. Disgusting. I remember a school friend many years ago

llizzie · 06/04/2019 02:43

Your travel agent will have told you about local laws. There are always those tourists who try their luck just to see what happens. Like all countries they have laws and visitors are expected to abide by them. If you are treating yourselves to just two days abiding by the laws should be no problem. I doubt you will be able to bring in duty free alcohol from London if you buy it before you board. It would not do to upset them deliberately.

Orangeballon · 06/04/2019 02:49

It’s pretty boring out there, bit of a hell hole I am afraid, would not return voluntarily. Most of the arrest story’s you see are when people do cross boundaries offensively. Most hotels are quite laid back with guests.

Orangeballon · 06/04/2019 02:50

I have taken in duty free alcohol to Dubai, a bit of a god send. Lol

Ellenborough · 06/04/2019 05:24

Spot on Stroke. I was starting to think it was just me that could see the glaringly obvious.

Ellenborough · 06/04/2019 05:31

It’s pretty boring out there, bit of a hell hole I am afraid

Boring, maybe. Depends what your idea of a good holiday is. Anyone who wants to properly immerse themselves in another culture, be at one with nature and wander cobbled streets looking at period architecture and eating/buying authentic local food and products isn't going to find much to love about Dubai.

But a hellhole? Hardly. There are plenty of places in the world that deserve and completely fit that description but Dubai isn't one of them.

Ferret27 · 06/04/2019 06:16

Stroke the furry wall.... the point people are making is to educate those who blindly go to countries without understanding what goes on there... and how their or other people’s freedoms to express are curtailed ... in India China and Malaysia you can touch and kiss your partner ... without concern ...
Respecting any countries cultural differences is only one part of this conversation ... none of the countries you list is perfect but they do not try to draw in western pounds by appealing to Types who think shopping and getting pissed on a compound types ... (of all classes)
All of those countries listed have amazing histories and cites to see and women and foreign low paid workers are not repressed to any where near the degree as in Dubai .. if one less person books a mindless trip to Dubai based on this thread .. then great ..

Ellenborough · 06/04/2019 07:02

the point people are making is to educate those who blindly go to countries without understanding what goes on there

Yes and the point we are making is that you are completely arbitrary in how you choose to do this, focusing for some utterly bizarre reason almost exclusively on Dubai and ignoring many other places where human rights abuses and questionable cultural practices also occur. A bit of consistency wouldn't be a bad thing.

But if it's education you want the thickos to have, let's start with Borneo. For those who don't know, Borneo is the large island that encapsulates the tiny Islamic kingdom of Brunei which is the richest country in the world per capita and is surrounded by people who are often living in absolute grinding poverty. It has just reinstated death by stoning for homosexuality and adultery, so that's nice. There is a visible western expat community there too, because of the oil industry. They also have cheap, full time help around the house that they never afford or aspire to at home, and swimming pools in their gardens too. But no-one gives them spiteful monikers like Sarawak Suzie. There is no sneery equivalent of Jumeirah Jane, for some odd reason.

Borneo has an FGM rate of over 90% carried out on frightened little girls in very rudimentary, unsanitary conditions with no anaesthetic, but no-one on MN seems to care about that. Okay, actually they probably do, care. But they don't feel the need to jump onto travel threads about Borneo to bang on about it, because orang-utans! Waterfalls! Cute, shoeless poor people! Yay! That's a proper middle class travel experience where you can fully immerse yourself in the culture, that is.

Most of the orang-utans get burnt alive in the deforestation for palm oil production by the way, which is truly dreadful for the environment as well as for the orang-utans, but again, let's not bother to point that out on all the threads where people express an interest in going there.

Plus, what Borneo definitely has over Dubai is its soul. Let's celebrate its soul. You can have plenty of those 'look at how great I am getting down with the peasants' as you share rice in a banana leaf with the cute poor people and you can put it all on Instagram.

There aren't really any cute poor people in Dubai. The locals are pretty much all rich and are not clamouring to share their rice and be in your selfies in the hope of a small tip which will feed their family for a week, so of course it's much easier to hate them. How dare they not make you feel better about yourself? Fifty years ago they were living in tents and riding camels. The nasty little upstarts. Who do they think they are?

Ellenborough · 06/04/2019 07:10

That they could never afford or aspire to.

swingofthings · 06/04/2019 07:10

none of the countries you list is perfect but they do not try to draw in western pounds by appealing to Types who think shopping and getting pissed on a compound types ... (of all classes)
Appealing to Types... How derogatory. I was attracted to the place because of it being so new into history. That alone gives it a different culture. I found it fascinating. The only shopping I did was in the local supermarket and what a treat to see all those lovely healthy salads and other local dishes. Made me really wish we had something like this in the UK.

I didn't lay on the beach. We went for walks, met a local Muslim man, and through talking to him, were invited to a local festival. Met his family and friends and had a great time. I felt much more respected there as a woman than I feel here in the UK.

UEA is like every other country, fa's I sting when you bother to show some interest in the local culture. Did OH and I fell offended because for a few hours a day we couldn't kiss in front of others? Of course not, it's not that hard to avoid doing because that's part of the culture, then we adapt, similarly to my OH having to adapt to kissing French men on the cheek when we go visit relatives and friends in France. He wouldn't do this at home, but accepts its the local custom there.

FentonForChristsakeFenton · 06/04/2019 07:14

Wow! I did not know any of that about Borneo Shock. That’s one off my list.

Ellenborough · 06/04/2019 07:17

Fenton by the time I've finished you won't have anywhere left. I hope you like the Isle of Wight.

Ellenborough · 06/04/2019 07:17
Grin
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