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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Resentful at dh’s Family

130 replies

Aroundtheworldandback · 03/04/2019 13:12

Dh is financially successful and a very kind, generous person. He’s very close to his dm and siblings. The problem is, they are constantly asking him for money for things, and I get the feeling they genuinely feel entitled.

One of his siblings struggles financially and he puts a generous sum in her account monthly, but it’s never enough. I have tactfully tried to put it to dh that she needs to watch her spending but he seems to think it’s his duty.

I know I can’t change dh. But how do I work on my resentment not about the money but about their sense of entitlement? He loves them but I hate that they take advantage of him.

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 05/04/2019 12:41

The sister is categorically not a charity. (Except perhaps in her own mind)

I'm not sure why anyone would compare her to a charity. Although imo large, regular charitable donations are also something that should be discussed within a marriage. Or any financial commitment.

Aroundtheworldandback · 05/04/2019 12:51

Either you don’t understand Alsohuman or have not read my posts. I have stated multiple times it is not the money I resent (give huge amount to charity) but the idea that she feels entitled and goes out of her way to make dh feel bad for enjoying his life.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 05/04/2019 13:50

In which case you’re being even more unreasonable. It’s your husband’s job to manage his relationship with his sister. Not yours. If he’s happy with it, it’s a non problem.

Aroundtheworldandback · 05/04/2019 21:03

Oh don’t be so ridiculous Alsohuman. If someone was making your husband feel bad through emotional manipulation, whoever it was, can you honestly say you would have no opinion?

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 05/04/2019 21:56

I'd assume if it was making him feel bad he'd deal with it.

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