The Mumsnet ideal

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You have to: Have big house in the country
Work, both of you, all the hours you can to afford this.
Drive everywhere
Get a cleaner

If you have e.g. a flat, in the town, that is not a 'proper home'
If you don't work all the hours you can, you are lazy
Ditto for driving.

If a childless adult parks in a parent and child space then they have a HIDDEN DISABILITY!!! STOP JUDGING

🙄🙄🙄

Anyone over the age of 50 who seems a bit ratty that day obviously has dementia.

Everyone should be able to work from home and has every single weekend off, even if you work in care, are a chef or work in retail.

Your child should be seen and not heard. And certainly not inconvenience anyone. Except teachers. Thats what they are paid for.

You must not expect anything for Mother’s Day unless and until your children are old enough to choose and buy a present with their own money. You’re not your husband’s mother, why should he get you anything?

You must have a phone in order to log it with 101

I disagree that the mumsnet ideal is working parents. I see so many posts on here about how it's impossible to work even with school age children because the poster has a DH with a super important job and there are no jobs with term time hours. IRL, I have never met a SAHM of school age children, everyone I know works and pays for holiday childcare and before and after school clubs

Being pregnant is NOT AN ILLNESS and does not warrant you having any special treatment whatsoever. No-one else has suffered any bad effects from pregnancy ergo neither should you.

Or they did and theirs was worse than yours, so stop whinging.

The one-carefully-measured-glass-of-alcohol rule is thrown out of the window if it's gin or wine you're drinking.

Fussy babies can be soothed by anyone, it couldn't be easier. Just Google how to do it, duh!

PALM OIL, UGH!

SWEETENERS,DOUBLE UGH!! Don't you know they give you cancer?! Despite the lack of any scientific evidence. It's your RIGHT to drink sugary crap!!

Oh please! MN loves Primark and you’re a snob if you shop elsewhere.

If your toddler is a fussy eater, it's because you gave them too much choice/didn't give them what you eat/did or didn't do BLW/are too soft/don't eat together as a family.

No child is ever 'just fussy'

Complaining about pregnancy pain is the height of insensitivity to people TTC. Ditto any complaint about your children. God, how could you be insensitive?

And you can't drink more than one measured glass and only on special occasions

I guess this is a good example of subjectivity, because I would have said mumsnet is quite obsessed with drinking lots, regularly! The "mumsnet ideal" would be to always have a glass of wine/bottle of gin to hand.

If your husband burns the toast he's abusive and you need to LTB.

You need to change into a special frock to do the school run.

People who do the school run/go to the shop in their pjs/homewear are scum of the earth. There’s no excuse for it - illness, running late, having a rare day off, doesn’t matter to your average Mumsnetter. Put on a jumper and leggings ffs, ‘it only takes a minute’ .

Holyforkingshirt your post made me laugh out loud! So true! 🤣

If anything remotely difficult happened in your day you need to treat yourself to a large glass of wine.

I agree with settlers seems to me the MN ideal is to be a SAHM which I don't see much IRL.

Also:
Zoflora everything
No toilet brushes or bathroom bins EVER
You must get up at 5am every day and go for a run/to the gym
If you drink more than a glass of wine a week you're an alcoholic
Wash towels at 90 degrees with dettol every day because BACTERIA
you should never call on anyone unexpectedly EVER
Likewise, phoning ppl is rude
All your family are toxic narcs and you should go NC immediately, ILs are even worse

OP - you will have to NC as you openly and unashamedly admitted to NOT WORKING
You will never recover, can’t you take in some ironing ? Where’s your dignity woman

You must see everything in black and white
You shouted at your kids? You’re abusive - call social services
Someone said something a bit near the line-let’s twist it so that it’s an attack on me

Only on Mumsnet do you ever hear of a situation where someone might say “oooh some right scum bag robbed me” and someone virtue signals “U to call him a scum bag”

Moving to the Coast and commuting back to the city where you work - or ideally your OH commuting while you stay at home and bake your own bread while wearing boden - is a completely original and not at all sheeplike thing to do.

(Ditto wearing Converse for your wedding shoes)

I have been reprimanded I'll admit for not being married and living together as it makes me financially vulnerable apparently. I think they assumed my OH is loaded when in fact I'm the main earner and he has zero savings!

I've never heard the term "virtue signal" outside of mumsnet.

Most of these posts are completely contradictory which makes this funnier! 😂

Most of these posts are completely contradictory which makes this funnier! 😂

Mumsnetters are zealous, if nothing else!