To be really angry? I've even cried

[HelenOn]

My new job, of which I'm suppose to start next week, have called to have a chat.

They wanted to ask why one of my references came back as 'Had a lot of time off sick' (not sure if old work gave dates).

I was off a lot for the majority of my time in that role (about a year) due to crippling Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). My spelling may be slightly off there.

Anyway, since it is completely pregnancy related, I didn't think they could mention it in a reference.

But it's been mentioned and new employer now sounds very sceptical. I tried to explain what it is and I got a very abrupt 'We know what HG is'.

I just don't know what to do I really need/want this job and feel like crying. New job have said they're speaking to HR for a chat about it.

AIBU to be really angry at old work?

Yanbu! I thought that pregnancy related sickness was not allowed to be counted as normal sickness but I'm not in HR or anything like that. You could call ACAS for advice?

Can you get hold of any hospital notes to confirm you had it and offer to send it to the new employer?

I know how you feel, I was hauled up for my absence in an appraisal despite it being because I had severe morning sickness then a miscarriage.

New employer doesn't not believe me, I don't think. It just seems my old place of work haven't even bothered to say why I was off sick, let alone that they shouldn't have mentioned it at all.

I'm really cross, my previous employer was a bloody NHS hospital

Absolutely YANBU!!! You’re previous employer should not have done this. Not sure about the rules but could you get a copy of the reference under FOA? If this results in an issue there must be a way for it to come back and bite them on the arse I’m so angry on your behalf!!!

*your. Bloody no edit button.

Contact your union - you should not be punished for this.

Thanks all

I phoned DH to tell him straight away and now he is incredibly worried and sounds annoyed too.

We really need me to get this job, both because it's a great career move and we need the money too.

I just can't stop rethinking how annoyed I am that they've told them this.

And I stupidly enough responded with initially "Oh, they weren't suppose to tell you that!" When my new employer asked me about it ... I did obviously go on to explain but I was so blinded with upset that I did repeat "they aren't legally allowed to mention it since it's pregnancy related".

I don't have a Union.

I'm so very cross because what if this all falls through? What on earth am I going to do?

I feel like jumping off a bloody cliff. I can't do this anymore, there's always something. Always something else. I've just had enough

I’m a bit of a hot head when I feel that I have been wronged but if it is correct that pregnancy related sickness cannot be reportrd then I’d be straight back to whoever the referee was to let them know that because of their error you have had to have an unpleasant and unnecessary conversation with your new employer, and that they must clarify why you were signed off sick so that your new employer has no doubt that HG was the reason and that you were telling the truth when you spoke to them.
Was this a ‘personal’ referee or would the reference have just been done by a clerk (for want of better word) using numerical type data?. If the latter it makes you wonder what training they have received,

They will find out that they can't discriminate against you for this. You have been offered the job right. Don't waste your emotion on this. They are wrong, your previous employer was wrong. Don't worry for another second. Congratulations on your new job.

It should definitely not count against you. I have no idea how you would go about addressing this, but have a hand hold anyway.

Thank you. My husband says the same as me but made a good point when he said "It may be wrong, but what can you actually do about it if they do decide to withdraw their offer? There's nothing you can do".

He's saying that because the act of putting this right all seems very abstract and I've no idea where to start if they try and get rid of me for this.

I just feel so angry, I suffered quite enough for 9 months. Why does this have to hurt me once again? It's sucked enough joy when I was sick with it.

DH was once asked a similar question about a lot of sickness in an old job (obviously not pregnancy related!) He explained it was due to an ongoing problem that had since been sorted with surgery and they still gave him the job. Hopefully it will be the same for you - what they're really trying to avoid is people who call in every time they have a sniffle or the morning after England play football.

Your old job is an arsehole for doing this though. Are they hoping you'll stay if they sabotage your new job offer?

Not sure about the rules but could you get a copy of the reference under FOA?

No. It would be a Data Subject Access Request - and references are excluded.

Now that the pregnancy box has unfortunately been opened, can you reassure them that you're not planning to have any more children (if indeed that's the case)? Not that you should have to of course.

Or perhaps you could get your old employers - or GP? - to confirm about your HG?

Have they said they are withdrawing the offer?

I don't know if there's any legislation that covers this situation. Could you post on the employment board to get the correct information?

Oh gosh, you poor love. I don't have any legal advice, but just wanted to stop by and give you and a handhold. It sucks that this is happening! I would be spitting feathers too.

Were you actually off for the majority of the time you were employed there? Maybe the reference is a way of explaining why they can’t actually assess you on your work performance, despite you being employed for almost a year.

Oh how ridiculous. If they withdraw the offer can you claim that they are discriminating due to pregnancy? I don’t know if you can, I’m sure a legal eagle could answer that..

I can imagine you were thrown by the phone call or did you get to the bottom of what your employer had said? Just asking because I got a similar call. I was completely thrown as the time off was re a miscarriage. It was an awful time obviously and yes I did have a more than average time off - 5 weeks as initially ordered to bed rest etc. Anyway because I was upset the bit I hadn't heard properly was how wrong the info they had sent was. They put all the time off I'd had with them - worked there 11 years in about a question about the last year.

My advice would be ask to see the reference and check it is right. Be open with the new employer. They shouldn't withdraw as the circumstances were unique to a point in time and not an on going condition.

Make sure that if they are only asking for a say what happened in 2018 that your previous good record is made known.

If you can't legally obtain the reference, could you somehow get the HR at the new company to confirm via email that the old employer included this information and the phrase 'had a lot of time off sick'? Could you email them asking how things are progressing following the conversation earlier and ask whether they have specifically mentioned HG? Perhaps HR will ping you back confirmation, then you'll have something on the old company. If it all goes tits up, I'd at the very least make a complaint to someone - unsure who?! But definitely including HR at the former company. I'm angry that this sort of discrimination is still happening.

My best friend had loads of stress/anxiety related sickness at her last job and she was eventually sacked due to gross misconduct (they threw her under the bus as it was exams/cheating related and she was new to the post and without any help/guidance) but her new employer let her explain the situation and were absolutley fine knowing that the stress/anxiety were because of the old job and weren't going to be an issue in the new job!

Hopefully your new job will have the sense to realise that HG won't be affecting you now!! Fingers crossed OP

This should not have been mentioned by your previous workplace. I work in HR and I genuinely cant believe they mentioned sickness record in a reference in this day and age! We would never do that (but I work for a good employer!) I doubt it will be a problem in that its sickness related and pregnancy related and the new workplace will be in a world of employment law related pain if they rescind the job offer now. Let us know what happens.

They aren't allowed to withdraw their offer based on this. This would go against the equality act. A man cannot be in this position therefore it is sex discrimination.I would ring their HR team and say this nicely to them. They would not withdraw the offer if they found out you
were a wheelchair user.

Have you considered contacting your previous employer's HR to discuss their inclusion of your pregnancy related illness? I can't see any reason why they couldn't sent a follow up letter explaining their error / clarifying the situation. From their point of view better a second letter than a formal complaint from you.