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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really angry? I've even cried

293 replies

HelenOn · 03/04/2019 10:13

My new job, of which I'm suppose to start next week, have called to have a chat.

They wanted to ask why one of my references came back as 'Had a lot of time off sick' (not sure if old work gave dates).

I was off a lot for the majority of my time in that role (about a year) due to crippling Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). My spelling may be slightly off there.

Anyway, since it is completely pregnancy related, I didn't think they could mention it in a reference.

But it's been mentioned and new employer now sounds very sceptical. I tried to explain what it is and I got a very abrupt 'We know what HG is'.

I just don't know what to do Sad I really need/want this job and feel like crying. New job have said they're speaking to HR for a chat about it.

AIBU to be really angry at old work?

OP posts:
NWQM · 03/04/2019 15:43

Unless the JD / person spec was very specific then - sooo usually aren't in the NHS - then you should be fine.

It's a clumsy start you might say but you know what they 'it ain't how you start.....'

Polarbearflavour · 03/04/2019 15:43

Isn’t it ridiculous that this is an NHS employer? The NHS treats people with HG. But has no sympathy to sick employees. Madness.

OrangeCinnamon · 03/04/2019 15:57

Fwiw I don't think you were wrong in stating how long you were employed at the previous role, it is seen as a no no to give details of maternity leave etc on CVs.

user1486131602 · 04/04/2019 17:36

Call a solicitor get a definitive answer, then, Call your HR dept and explain the law to them, make them retract the 'illness' in writing and make them call the new job, explaining it away any way they like, a junior made a mistake etc etc...... and also ask for a copy of the records they are using to write the reference or else you will take it further, drop the name of the solicitors in the conversation!

Good luckXx

Tiredand · 04/04/2019 17:37

Quick solicitors letter to the trust in question for breaking the law and claim compensation for 5 yrs difference in pay between new role and present.

Tiredand · 04/04/2019 17:38

or what the post above mine said.

The minute it goes legal panic will set in if they've clearly broken the law.

pollymere · 04/04/2019 17:45

I suspect HR will set them straight. Don't worry for now. It may just be to do Occupational Health rather than pull the job.

BookishKitten · 04/04/2019 17:45

YANBU!! I was off sick due to HG too and it was bloody awful, so bad I actually threw up because of walking, couldn’t watch tv unless I had sunglasses on (inside the house!), couldn’t eat (lost 8kg during pregnancy!), stayed home pretty much for 6 months straight barfing away - my record was 32 times in 24h...
Honestly, I would report your reference provider because that is simply appalling.

Get your union behind you, present doctor’s letters or any maternity notes that outline the specifics of your HG case (it varies a lot!) to your new employer and provide specific dates for absence from work.

I despaired at people when I was that ill, tbh. They think pregnancy sickness is like in the films. I wish VIP would speak out and educate people about how awful HG is, and how debilitating for the mother and potentially for the baby (miscarriages are not uncommon, unfortunately).

Hang in there, and get your union on board ASAP!!!!!FlowersFlowers

Jimdandy · 04/04/2019 18:04

Seek specialist employment advice now.

They’re not allowed to mention it on a reference so I would look at suing your current employer and the new job can not discriminate against you for it.

nuxe1984 · 04/04/2019 18:17

Pregnancy related sicknesses should not be recorded alongside other sickness absences. If your previous employer has done this then what they have done is wrong.
Not sure what you could do if you lose the new job. Maybe get evidence of what was sent to them and then investigate whether you can sue the old company for loss of earnings, etc.

sollyfromsurrey · 04/04/2019 18:48

nuxe1984 I don't know much about this area of the law/employment. Out of interest, what would the correct way to phrase things without disclosing pregnancy illness in a situation where a person was promoted to a senior role but before they actually started the new role or a couple of weeks into it) they developed HG and never actually did the role. It wouldn't be appropriate to confirm that the person fulfilled the role (as they didn't fulfill it) but from what I understand, the time not fulfilling the role can't be disclosed if it is pregnancy related. What would the correct and professional process be?

sunshine11 · 04/04/2019 19:15

I can understand your immediate reaction of anxiety and frustration because you need this job. However, if you can look at this positively, it’s a good opportunity to see what kind of company they are. You absolutely shouldn’t be discriminated against/lose the job because of this but if that is the outcome I’d say they were a pretty shitty company you don’t want to be working for anyway.

Chubbyorcuddly · 04/04/2019 19:16

If you are refused the position on the basis if this it would be pregnancy/sex discrimination. Be mindful of your timescales moving forward if this happens to take action.

jwpetal · 04/04/2019 19:54

I was told to never say more than yes, the person worked their and the dates. No more and no less otherwise it opens the company up for litigation. GDPR may come into this.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 04/04/2019 20:19

Yeah as if the NHS needs to leak more money... Hmm

Gwenhwyfar · 04/04/2019 21:07

"I’d speak to HR at both your old employer and new employer quoting some of the excellent advice you’ve been given here. Goodluck."

Would email be better so that OP has a paper trail - even if the past and new employer don't themselves put their foot in it in writing.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 04/04/2019 21:09

I hope you take proper legal advice before contacting either old or new employer. This must be so upsetting for you.
Do you have legal cover as part of your household insurance? You may be able claim for this and if so they will put you in touch with a solicitor who specialises in this. If you don't have this, you might be able to add it to your household insurance. It costs about £3 a month extra on our policy. Wishing you all the best with this.

Chocolate35 · 04/04/2019 21:10

I really hope you get this sorted. Employers unfortunately find ways to get around the law. I worked somewhere where I had a lot of time off with my DD, she got really sick and I was a single parent with no help or support so had no choice but to take time off with her. She had an operation and was fine but my boss wrote on my references that I’d had an ‘unreasonable amount of time off’ so 2 job offers were retracted. My union couldn’t help because he’d wrote it in the “Would you hire this person again?” section. It was a blessing in disguise, the job I got after those two was brilliant and much better for me. I hope you end up at the job that’s best for you x

Gwenhwyfar · 04/04/2019 21:17

"Employers unfortunately find ways to get around the law."

Yes. It's now illegal to ask how many sick days you've had on your application form, but still legal to put it on the 'equality information' form where they ask for your race, religion, etc. I had an application like that and I thought the way they'd got around the law was despicable.

JaneEyre07 · 04/04/2019 21:17

Shouting discrimination isn't going to help the OP here though, is it.

I think you need to chalk this one up to experience, don't give that again as a reference and move on.

MotherOfDragonite · 04/04/2019 21:34

@Gwenhwyfar The example you give is quite disgraceful, I am honestly shocked at how this is not in the spirit of the law (even if it is in the letter of the law, which to be honest I don't quite believe). I would report this to the Equality and Human Rights Commission!

Chickenwing · 04/04/2019 21:47

Dont be a drama llama, they cant take back their job offer due to this. And if they try to, is this really an organisation you want to work for?

You should also write to your previous workplace asking for a data subject access request, for all information held about you. It is against GDPR for them to provide that information. You can report them to ICO.org.uk

VanGoghsDog · 04/04/2019 22:04

It's not 'against GDPR' to provide that information and a subject access request would not reveal it as references are excluded.

VanGoghsDog · 04/04/2019 22:05

It's also not illegal to ask how many sick days someone has had, if it is, quote the law and the section so we can look it up please.

VanGoghsDog · 04/04/2019 22:08

@sollyfromsurrey

You don't have to say anything at all, you don't even have to give a reference if you don't want to.

But I would just put X was employed at y company from date a to date b. And not include their job title at all.

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