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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think “life coaches” really are something else

159 replies

Romax · 02/04/2019 18:19

I just don’t get it.
How someone can be so very sure that they have nailed “life” that they can actually coach others and charges for their “life expertise”

I’m thinking specifically of two women in my affluent SE town (perhaps it is a regional “thing”?) who have just set up a life coaching business. I just can’t work out how they would reach the conclusion that they are such a success in life that they can help others achieve what they have achieved (setting up a life coaching business!)

Am I BU to think that you really must think a lot of yourself to do this? Or have people genuinely benefited from life coaching services?

OP posts:
Unfinishedkitchen · 02/04/2019 18:21

A former MLM bot aquaintance of mine has recently stopped trying to flog Aloe and has reinvented herself as a life coach. Maybe this is the new thing?

HolyForkingShirt · 02/04/2019 18:22

It's like careers advisors - you wouldn't really want to follow their example would you!

EntirelyAnonymised · 02/04/2019 18:24

Isn’t it a bit of a nonsense. What qualifies them? What are the actual professional qualifications, what work have they done towards it and how do I know that it’s actually worth anything? Is it just quackery (probably yes)?

It feels like the MLM for the wealthy SAHMs. As in, the latest trendy job-hobby (‘jobby’?!) that is full of overpriced pseudoscience BS but actually has very little substance behind it.

Original poster
Romax · 02/04/2019 18:24

Exactly
Most odd

Careers coach.... but you are a careers coach yourself. Not many people regard that as a childhood dream!

Same with life coaching.

It’s the arrogance that I am intrigued by. Thinking you have so succeeded at life you can coach others on it. Baffling

OP posts:
rubisco · 02/04/2019 18:24

That's not how coaching works. The purpose is to help people to explore what they really want out of life and how to achieve it - not to give them any answers!

MrsBungle · 02/04/2019 18:26

I know one. He got in to it through working in a gym and did a couple of training courses. He was sacked last year from the gym, debt to his eye balls and marriage on the rocks. It beggars belief that he thinks anyone would pay to be life coached by him!

Wearywithteens · 02/04/2019 18:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Original poster
Romax · 02/04/2019 18:26

I'm a professional executive and life coach, having qualified with the Academy of Executive Coaching.
I work with both men and women, on a one-to-one basis, to enable both professional and personal development

Ah that world renowned highly regarded Academy Hmm

OP posts:
JustHereForThePooStories · 02/04/2019 18:32

A coach doesn’t get you to do what they do, they get you to focus on what you want.

Lots of businesses use coaches at a senior level. I have an executive coach through work. Her job isn’t to get me to become her, it’s to make sure I’m looking at various tools to become what I want. She’s also a great sounding-board in helping me figure out how to navigate change.

My coach is a former executive, who is semi-retired and has been coaching for years. She’s great- I love drawing on her experience.

Original poster
Romax · 02/04/2019 18:36

Job coach - that I can kind of understand

Life coach - so many seem to be mums returning to work! No, I don’t get it

OP posts:
Livedandlearned · 02/04/2019 18:36

I know of two life coaches/mentors. One is a former mlmbot, namely Forever Living.

The other has had business cards printed up to advertise her services, but hasn't actually finished all the modules in the course she started a few years ago.

And isn't likely to either.

ForalltheSaints · 02/04/2019 18:37

People who are in rut or worse may try anything for help, and so there is a market for them.

Dieu · 02/04/2019 18:37

I have a very lovely friend, who has just started the training course for this. Thing is, she really has made it in life. She has owned her own successful business which has enabled her to retire in her mid fifties. She owns a beautiful house in Edinburgh's New Town. Her teenage son is performing brilliantly at the private school she has sent him to. And she raised him singlehandedly. Not only that, but she dresses beautifully Grin
Most importantly, she is a lovely person, with more friends than you could shake a stick at, bags of empathy and warmth.
Don't knock it, folks. They're not all charlatans.

Oblomov19 · 02/04/2019 18:38

A CEO I met last week said that her life coach made a big difference to her. I was intrigued.

MrsBungle · 02/04/2019 18:39

Coaching in the workplace from an experienced colleague is a different thing in my opinion to life coaching.

I can understand life coaching if it’s delivered by someone inspirational and successful who can share their experiences and help to motivate you. I went on a one day “the art of being brilliant course” delivered by a really inspirational guy who’d overcome all sorts of adversity. It was great.

The person I know who is a life coach spends most of his time making vlogs about how great he is and his own experiences (which are mainly lies).

LeesPostersAreInFrames · 02/04/2019 18:39
Hmm

It's not about having their life sorted.

It's about helping people to work out their goals and get there quicker and more effectively than they would without any help.

Coaching is a skill in it's own right, whether it's life, sports or other. Yes you want your coach in any of these things to be doing well in themselves, but the best sports coaches aren't necessarily the best athletes, they're the ones who understand the sport are best at coaching. Same with life coaches.

Arguably the most famous and successful life coach Toby Robbins is HIGHLY successful at his career and life - but he's a dangerous and unskilled coach IMO.

Trouble is any Tom Dick or Harry can set up as a life coach. There are regulated training and membership bodies that can mitigate for this, but if you don't know about them and end up with an ex MLM bot who might have taken a £30 "online diploma"....

blueshoes · 02/04/2019 18:41

I wonder whether any one has personal experience of actually benefited from a life coach. What did the life coach do or say which a good mate or partner does not?

StillWould · 02/04/2019 18:42

I have never met a Life Coach who did not need have a second job.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/04/2019 18:43

I've always thought exactly the same.

If you're a qualified/experienced tennis player, Spanish speaker, arc welder, washing machine repairer, then these are skills that a great many people either don't have or have much less knowledge and ability in than you do, so teaching people to do it for a living makes a lot of sense.

Life, on the other hand, is something that we all have and approach differently, but not necessarily better or worse than everybody else - certainly not in every single respect.

It sounds breathtakingly arrogant to me. Maybe it's chiefly the name as I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with 'Motivational Coach' or even 'Life PA'.

Somebody who focuses on a particularly aspect of life or skills that can help with efficiency or enjoyment in living it - maybe an area that people acknowledge that they struggle - sounds fair enough; but non-specific 'Life Coach' just sounds such a ridiculous and patronising title to give yourself.

What do they actually do? Is it actually much different from being a counsellor? Is it just another case of 'Municipal Sanitation Facilities Controller' vs 'Binman'? Not in any way suggesting that counsellors and binmen don't do very valuable jobs - just that they have Ronseal commonly-used and understood descriptions of what they do.

blueshoes · 02/04/2019 18:45

Dieu if I ever had need of a life coach, I would prefer not to go with your friend who has success handed to her on a plate. I want to go with someone like MrsBungle inspirational guy who has overcome a lot of adversity.

If my dc were failing at GCSE, I would want to talk to a mum who coached them to an A* rather than someone whose kid was always excellent any way.

Crankybitch · 02/04/2019 18:47

I know a couple - the are 50 year old males who have been made redundant and have no real hope of getting a similar job to the one the got made redundant from.

It gives them something to say they do - very much like some others I know that go on week long courses and then set up “businesses” with themselves at the MD saying they are experts

Oh well - i suppose it’s good for them - I just feel a bit sorry for people who pay money to them though

Amongstthetallgrass · 02/04/2019 18:50

I know a life coach.

She is one of the most neurotic people I know. Their marriage is in tatters but refuses to divorce.

It’s all bullshit

blueshoes · 02/04/2019 18:52

Crankybitch, that makes sense. I guess 'life coach' is akin to a 'business consultant'.

Lost5stone · 02/04/2019 18:56

I know a life coach. Bit of a bully at school, got kicked out and spent a few summers in ibiza etc. Goes to the gym a lot so obviously has life sorted Hmm...

Grumpelstilskin · 02/04/2019 18:59

A mate of mine is a holistic whatshername and life coach. Her own life is a mess, her kids are out of control, her relationship is toxic as hell. BUT she is amazing at helping others find solutions and attaining their personal life goals. She has a genuine rare gift in inspiring others to fulfil their potential.