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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think “life coaches” really are something else

159 replies

Romax · 02/04/2019 18:19

I just don’t get it.
How someone can be so very sure that they have nailed “life” that they can actually coach others and charges for their “life expertise”

I’m thinking specifically of two women in my affluent SE town (perhaps it is a regional “thing”?) who have just set up a life coaching business. I just can’t work out how they would reach the conclusion that they are such a success in life that they can help others achieve what they have achieved (setting up a life coaching business!)

Am I BU to think that you really must think a lot of yourself to do this? Or have people genuinely benefited from life coaching services?

OP posts:

Lellikelly26 · 02/04/2019 21:21

Jeremy from peep show

RichPetunia · 02/04/2019 21:23

Personally, I like the idea of a life coach. I go on my way merrily doing the same things I've always done. I'd hope a life coach would give me encouragement to lose weight / move / pursue my interests.

NewToldDreams · 02/04/2019 21:24

Jeremy from peep show

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 02/04/2019 21:27

I'm sure there are some good life coaches out there. It stands to reason that if there are good executive coaches (which there are) there will also be some good life coaches. Coaching is about time to think, structuring thoughts etc not telling anyone how to live. I wouldn't expect a life coach to have it all together themselves any more than I'd expect a doctor to be healthy or a counsellor to never experience any emotional problems. A coach most likely couldn't coach themselves anyway.

I think the problem is that it's an unregulated industry and that means it attracts tons and tons of people who really don't have the skills or the training. There is definitely an MLM overlap and I have a morbid fascination with some of the bigger names on FB and all their motivational quotes. It is so, so bad.

dementedma · 02/04/2019 21:28

Its a con.

Princessmushroom · 02/04/2019 21:35

I’ve used a coach and found it incredibly rewarding both financially and mentally.

LucyInTheSkyy · 02/04/2019 23:02

The lifecoaches that I know of spend a lot of time instagramming the hell out of their lives making it seem like they have only seen a beautiful sunset because of how hard they worked to believe in it...and so on. Full of their own self importance, wanting to heal the world with their wisdom and personal experiences and quite frankly...are full of shit. Take off the filters and straplines and they are charging vulnerable people to look at The Emporers new clothes. That you will succeed if you believe is not the full story now, is it?

Ihatehashtags · 03/04/2019 07:30

The two life coaches I know are complete messes!

ilovesooty · 03/04/2019 08:35

Anyone can describe themselves as a life coach. It's unregulated.

I have qualifications in counselling and careers advice. If I were credibly to advertise myself as a life coach I'd expect to have an accredited qualification.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/04/2019 08:40

It looks like councilling to me. A neutral ear - so if you are really unhappy about your life and want to chance then they could ask relevant questions - what do you really want to do? It’s that relaistic? How would you do that? Make a plan... etc.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 03/04/2019 08:43

I've hardly heard of life coaches lately - I'd thought they'd more or less died the death.

In any case, I always thought they could only ever be any use because the 'coachee' would be more inclined to do the things they knew they ought to do anyway, since they were paying someone £75 or whatever an hour, to tell them to do it.

Equally I suspect that any training courses for life coaches are usually just a money making exercise. A bit like those 'You too can be a property millionaire!' seminars, leading to sessions costing £££.

WonderTweek · 03/04/2019 08:45

I know one and she is an utter train wreck. It's fascinating to watch her build her coaching empire online as her social media is completely different to her real life. She works really hard on getting herself out there, which is fair enough but she does it at others' expense and seems to push the "weak" and vulnerable people into having sessions with her, and then makes them write testimonials for her website. This doesn't quite sit right with me, but it's none of my business so I just keep quiet and observe from a distance.

I'm sure there are good ones out there, and for example my company uses business coaches and swear by them, so obviously it's not the coaching that's the issue. It's just the weird ones that resemble MLM that I'm suspicious of.

Minai · 03/04/2019 08:47

I have only met one life coach. She was a childhood friend of my husband’s. I’ve met her maybe about 3 times and every time she irritates me. For example she asked what I did for a job then went on about did I find that fulfilling or challenging enough, was it really what I wanted to do etc. I should note I was talking to her not in a life coaching capacity and felt like she was trying to life coach me basically by telling me everything about my life was shit and that I should strive to better myself. Fuck right off with that.

AntiHop · 03/04/2019 08:50

Lots of people being very rude about life coaches.

I have a friend who's a life coach. She worked really hard to train, and has made a business out of helping people. She's been doing it for around 15 years.

Don't tar everyone with the same brush.

Karwomannghia · 03/04/2019 08:57

I have a friend who is one and has been for around 20 years. She earns a lot of money and commands £200+ an hour for coaching in some businesses but also does some free. She coached me before a presentation and really helped. She has had years of training and now mentors others. It’s not that she is sorted, although she is an amazing woman but has learned techniques she uses effectively as well as being a lovely empathetic person. They’re not all bad!

ShatnersWigIsActuallyAMammoth · 03/04/2019 09:00

I know someone who worked in accounting and last year decided to become a life coach. Not sure what training she's had. Life coaching seems to be putting up memes and cliched shit on Instagram and Twitter.

You're 26, love. Even if I wanted a life coach, I'd want one with significantly more life experience than you.

Insomnibrat · 03/04/2019 09:06

A failed local radio DJ from my area has recently proclaimed himself as a 'Life Coach'.

He's a nasty little man with a HUGE ego and deeply ingrained mysoginistic attitude.

He keeps plastering patronising inspirational quotes all over social media, quite forgetting that 100% of people who know him KNOW all this guff, from him, is frankly laughable.

It's put me off 'Life Coaches' as a whole tbh.

Insomnibrat · 03/04/2019 09:07

And I'm not bothered if he reads that, either.

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 03/04/2019 09:09

I would make an awesome life coach. I am very good at inspiring people to take chances and move their lives on. Quite a few people have said that their lives changed when they met me. It’s really strange because I’m good at bugger all else .

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/04/2019 09:10

I was a therapist and a lot of it was just listening to people make up their own minds about things.

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 03/04/2019 09:11

But yes, I see what you mean. Life Caching does seem to be the new career choice for failed Forever Living sales people.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/04/2019 09:13

I knew one. She was a scary bossy woman. Really horrible and unpleasant.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 03/04/2019 09:40

It's cheaper than counselling and essentially does the same job: enables the paying client to find their way to their own answers. Having used the services of counsellors, a life coach and a psychotherapist, I've found the former two to be ineffective. I also agree the patronising job title of 'Life Coach' might be a large part of the problem.

I would never have gone out and actively engaged the services of a Life Coach. Mine's a reflexologist, and this is the service I pay for. Anything else is an aside.

LunchBoxPolice · 03/04/2019 15:23

This thread also made me think of Jez on Peep Show.
"what you sometimes think you should do, is what you should do"

LakieLady · 03/04/2019 15:33

I've been cynical about life coaching ever since the woman who worked part time for minimum wage in the local our corner shop told me she was a life coach.

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