To think “life coaches” really are something else

[Romax]

I just don’t get it.
How someone can be so very sure that they have nailed “life” that they can actually coach others and charges for their “life expertise”

I’m thinking specifically of two women in my affluent SE town (perhaps it is a regional “thing”?) who have just set up a life coaching business. I just can’t work out how they would reach the conclusion that they are such a success in life that they can help others achieve what they have achieved (setting up a life coaching business!)

Am I BU to think that you really must think a lot of yourself to do this? Or have people genuinely benefited from life coaching services?

My friend just paid £1500 to a life coach who uses words and phrases like 'goddess' and 'if you feel called to align with this experience.' I'm into spirituality/meditation/self-help in a major way but I wouldn't pay £1500 to be called a goddess! Obviously this is a very niche type of life coaching...

It's the most bizarre thing though. It's just life coaches congratulating other life coaches on various 'achievements'. None of them have got any actual clients or earn real money from it. I find it all totally baffling.

Lifecoach =self appointed expert with an NVQ in woohoo and ability to rise the affluent
It’s an unprotected title no regulatory body,anyone can set up as a life coach
There is no mandatory training or regulation it is usually smattered with motivational woohoo

I thought Life Coaches were a sad joke of a first world problem but then I met a couple with a "very naice pile" who can't make a single decision outside of their careers without being told what to do by their life coach - and I mean anything - from how often to eat out versus use the skills of their chef, what schools are appropriate for their kids, what jewellery to buy, where to live, etc.

There used to be a woman on mn who’s dp retrained as life coach
I’m surprised she’s not rocked up,fiercely telling us he has nvq and diploma in Whitabootery
She’d then list his dubious skills and online cps and paid for diplomas

I think there’s a LOT of people who would benefit from a decent life coach. There is stuff I don’t know about how to achieve things and get the best out of life for my family but I’ve been privileged in many ways so can see how things work better than most people.

There probably are some, and if they go for it and feel that they've benefited, all the best to them. The very name 'life coach' just sounds such an enormous and rather arrogant brief, though.

I would wholeheartedly agree if you'd said "I think there’s a LOT of people who would benefit from a decent life coach learning and taking counsel from many people in many different areas of life." An experienced driving instructor, a trained counsellor, a GP, a Japanese tutor, a piano teacher, an accomplished knitter, a master chef, a skiing instructor etc. etc.

I just don't see how, unless you have significant learning difficulties or similar personal obstacles to overcome - or are just bone idle - your life would be so badly run in general that ONE stranger would be in a position to teach you how to live YOUR OWN whole life better than you could ever possibly manage it yourself.

If they mean 'career coach' or 'motivational trainer' then why not just use those terms?

To add, smugness often (I'm sure not always) seems to go with the territory of being a self-appointed 'life coach'.

If you advertise and somebody chooses to contact you, all well and good; but many of them seem to be waiting to pounce at any moment to show you just how rubbish you are and how they would naturally have done everything so very much better.

I used to know one of these quite well - he was basically an affable, well-intentioned man, but humility was not an issue that he ever had to concern himself with. His (unsolicited) advice when I mentioned I was looking for a job after not long having left university was to obsess about getting my hair styled at his favourite buttock-clenchingly expensive salon, which would help massively in impressing a potential employer - presumably far more than my experience, qualifications, personality or demeanour would.

He would also go on about helping me learn to at least gain a little confidence, when I'd never expressed any doubts whatsoever about lacking a decent level.

He would offer us unwanted and unrequested marriage guidance at regular intervals (not too long after this, he abandoned his genuinely lovely and endlessly patient wife and went off with a much younger woman).

I randomly had a look at his public FB profile a little while ago and it's full of inspirational 'advice', apparent virtue signalling and non-too-humble stealth puffery.

fiercely telling us he has nvq and diploma in Whitabootery

The word 'coach' is always confusing. In the sport world a coach tells others what they need to do to get better.
In the ´life coaching' world, a coach creates space and time to really listen to you and ask pertinent questions that get you to think. The goal of the coaching is the goal you set yourself. So if you have a goal to reduce the amount of stress in your life, the coach will help you work out what to do and how to do that. The coach structures the conversation through exercises and questions. You provide the answers.
It is in no way shape or form a ´look, I am perfect, let me tell you how to be' professions.
The basic coaching skills for a career coach and a life coach are the same. The goals for the client are often differen: career - ´I want a different job' or ´I am returning to work after an extended break and don't know what to do' etc. Life - ´I feel I have no control over life' or 'I have this huge decision to make and don't know how to go about it'.
Btw - career is part of life...
As you can tell, I am a coach. I coach people from all walks of life on career, conflicts at work, big life decisions.
I do have another job because I find it impossible to work with many people at once and be able to focus.
I coach because I am driven by helping people.
Nobody is oblidged to hire me and I don't have any 'scheme' that people sign up to. If they want to stop at any time they can do so.
That being said, there are charlatans out there. I am all for regulation for coaches to weed them out.

What are some ways to identify a good life coach and avoid them crowd? What sort of qualifications or accreditation should they have?

*avoid the MLM crowd

You don't need to listen to me at all. I listen to you and reflect back to you what I hear so you can get more clarity on what you want and need. Then I help you structure YOUR plan to get there.

If anybody is looking for a life coach, I can highly recommend this book: www.worldofbooks.com/en-au/books/fiona-harrold/be-your-own-life-coach-how-to-take-control-of-your-life-and-achieve-your-wildest/GOR001169488?gclid=Cj0KCQjws5HlBRDIARIsAOomqA16xsHK_q5rCB-jPr9qPARKor2OsvnxypgTSJ12iYV45H96EPZg4ZMaAudOEALw_wcB

It’s really good and it’s cheaper than a human life coach.

Seasawteddy

A coach that has been trained by a coaching school recognised by the ICF and who adheres to the standards and agreements of the ICF.
Some better know schools in the UK are:
Coachu Coaching Training Institute.

Seesaw - fairly easy to avoid the MLM crowd. Look out for bullshit like empowerment, highest vibrations, boss babe, female entrepreneurs, community of women, blar blar fucking blar.

Coaching in its own right is a taught skill and a professional qualification by the ILM. We had a trainer carry out a CPD session covering the basic principals of it when I worked in a secondary school. I used the the training when dealing with the kids and the results were very good.

I do think the Life Coaching thing is a bit airy fairy and I am a bit of a sceptic as to the justification of it as just 'Coaching' does the job very well and the model you use would suit any situation, it is a clever enough model to not need separate life coaches.

I know of a 'life coach'. She's also into NLP and was 'coaching' my 27 year old brother who has learning difficulties and will never live independently into achieving his dream of being a vet . I was livid and when I contacted her she said my negative energy was clearly holding him back. I suggested that maybe it was more a combination of his IQ of 55, social interaction disorder, generalised anxiety disorder and gross and fine motor impairments? No, none of these things should matter, it's all about 'reaching for the star's and 'you can be anything you want to be'. I argued a bit more and she then said even if it's not possible now it will be in the afterlife

I don't think you necessarily need to have your own shit completely together to be a life coach. A good life coach's skills will be centred around strategies to help their clients navigate their own issues.

I have used a good life coach before and it was actually pretty useful in helping me work out what I really wanted at a particular cross roads.

I have a few friends who are life coaches. I have no idea if they are any good but they get my heckles up when they constantly treat FB like one giant coaching platform. Status updates probing people about their goals and lives, unsolicited parroted advice in response to friends' own status updates etc. Cringey stuff.

OMG the afterlife!!? That is getting way too close to cultish fanaticism. What's next, getting the afterlife to, er, come to us sooner rather than later? Hope your brother's free of this gem.

There are proper ones amongst the dimwits. A lady in her early 50s was very senior hr for a multinational genuinely helped a few of my friends move from sahm to careers. Very far from a mlm not type.

I have a professional coaching qualification. It involved a lot of work, both practical and theoretical, including observed coaching sessions with feedback. I don't think it was bullshit.

Admittedly, my qualification was focused on workplace coaching and I use it primarily in my capacity as a senior manager to get the best out of my team. However, I think the principals for life coaching would be similar, and I believe that a good coach could certainly be useful to people in their personal lives.

It doesn't really matter that much if the coach has got their own life totally sussed, because the point of coaching is not to give people answers, it is to help them find their own answers. The skill of a good coach does not lie in modelling the actions that a client needs to take, but rather in helping the client to think about the problem so that they can identify and commit to their own actions - and then be accountable to someone for completing them.

The real problem with coaches - life coaches or workplace coaches - is that there is no regulation whatsoever. My coaching qualification took over a year to complete, following years of relevant experience and other relevant qualifications. Others go on a weekend course and then set themselves up with clients straightaway.

I know a life coach, she seems to be pretty successful. She has done it since her mid-late 20s and now in her 40s. She's written a few books and does corporate coaching and workshops as well.i find she comes across as slightly superior sometimes ....but so does her husband and hes not a life coachso that might not be connected.

evaperonspoodle :o Worra loon! That's very sad for your brother though, does he have the capacity to understand that it won't be happening for him? In this life or the afterlife I mean...

I have a friend who uses a life coach. My friend earns around £250k/year - I know this because her salary is in the public domain. She's successful in every area of her life and if she weren't so fucking nice and funny she'd be loathed by one and all.

Obviously behind the scenes she felt differently and since she's been seeing a life coach (an older woman), she's so much happier. She's reduced her hours at work and is now more focused on her hobby and tackling that in a different manner. She waxes lyrical about her coach - so there's something there that's working for her.