To be disappointed with the school mums

[tipsandtricks]

Supposedly “naice” area, private school (which may or may not make a difference, I don’t know) and some of the mothers are just not nice people!

They gossip, they show off, they try to manipulate the teachers (and it works with some), they do not discipline their children, they are competitive to the point of making nasty remarks to 4 year olds if they have won a prize and their child hasn’t and they flout the school rules (hair length, uniform, no fighting) because they are paying so “what are they going to do?!” 😕

I don’t know what I was expecting but this is like a group of mean girls who have had children and still think they are in the playground.

Swift I haven’t engaged in any sweeping sterotyoes,nor discussed men,or capitalism
Do point me to where in my posts I mention men or capitalism..oh that’s right.Nowhere
What I have done is recall and reference my direct experience of PTA
Sharing Ones direct experience isn’t a bit thick as you prosaically put it
A bit thick is the inability to concede that not all PTA are as altruistic or driven as you may have experienced

““Unfortunately most school mums esp PTA are absolute vacuous horrors”

Not a sweeping generalisation in sight!

Yes “kiss my arse” is how The PTA greet each other in the playground.
It’s like a secret signal so we know who’s not in the clique so we can look down on them and judge their parenting choices

You’re kind of beating an exhausted quip,it wasn’t that funny

Have you arisen from your protracted argument about assisted places to doggedly pursue a row with me?
You seem to like taking a position and misrepresenting other folk post
Previous poster query was right you can argue in any empty room.they had you bang on

None if this is my experience at all. 4 DC through independent preps in London and I can honestly say, I’ve never heard anybody say a bad word about anybody else. Nobody is competitive about other DCs successes whatsoever. I’m there every day and always have been. Teachers are all lovely and literally can’t do enough. I just don’t recognise any of this at all. Some of the most lovely people I’ve ever met have been through the schools. Nobody is bothered where you live or how much money you have. I can’t imagine this.

I'm laughing at 'kiss my arse' being thought of as vulgarity. How profane!

Well school mums it’s mn perennial,and reported widely in media and represented on tv & movies
So my opinion is yes across many schools there is an group of mums who are a toxic cabal
A cursory search online and m.n will attest to that

Wow this thread is heading in the direction of being the perfect example of mean mums!

Op if the children at school are great, if your child is flourishing and it is just the parents. I would ignore it.
If however you’d child is being schooled with horrid entitled children, and isn’t doing very well it may be time to consider moving. If your child is young or you have more rhan one, potentially you have a decade of this to endure.

Feel rather cheated tbh a toxic cabal sounds dramatic and exciting - other parents I have met so far have been reasonable sensible adults SO unfair

BertrandRussell who the fuck are you talking to with your “women who hate women” crap?

You are the only one hating on the thread!

yes it was a shocking derailment to arrive at you hate women dontcha
classic internet tactic,throw in an unrelated accusation see if it diverts thread

Rural area, same happens here

Big city,happens here too

Oh my god this took a turn 😬

I can handle the mob. At school I mean. They are not nice but they are also not necessary in my life. But as I posted originally, I am disappointed because they make my life worse. I have to explain to DC when called names, I have to explain to DC not to copy the nasty remarks, I have to put up with the nasty jibes or stand in the playground wearing earphones.

It’s not a nice feeling.

Ruralish area here.

What I will say is queen bees and their pals usually crash & burn,spectacularly
We’ve had fall outs,sudden school departure,heated accusations etc
The clique they talked about other mums and were unkind,this can rub off on the kids
The class tormentor was the child of queen bee. Learned behaviour and internalising it’s ok to be mean

Dcs don’t go to a private school. The mums are lovely. I mean really lovely. I’ve made a tonne of great friendships and everyone appears very inclusive and everyone talks to each other. I don’t see any of this queen bee stuff. When I read these threads it makes me feel I’ve struck gold.

What I will say is queen bees and their pals usually crash & burn,spectacularly

Oh they so do! We had some at work - the main two didn’t like me so I kept out of the way because cliques aren’t my thing. They recruited a 3rd girl but shat on her and in the end the two of them fell out big style😂😂

We’ve had fall outs,sudden school departure,heated accusations etc
I mean we as in the whole year group. Not we,me and the queen bees
I don’t associate with them,and they slag me off for always Working
Note,always working is derogatory when applied to women.
Always working applied to men is a measure of financial virility

I feel a bit deprived, as all the parents (independent schools from 4+) I have encountered are just nice and straightforward and lovely. Prep school was delightful. Boarding is different. We only see one another relatively rarely, but all is fine. My others are at day schools. I'm still v good friends with parents from prep schools but have never even met their friends' parents at secondary day schools.

OP, I know that horrid cliques etc can develop at the school gates. But perhaps just go ahead and do your own thing, and just think less about it all?

I'm glad WhatsApp didn't exist when mine were little, though, as social media would be a PITA. I don't even have a smartphone, thank God.

Well... yeah, the rich aren't exactly known for being overly kind, non-judgemental and lovely.

EtonianMother Really? You “feel a bit deprived” because you’ve never experienced what the op is going through?

Do you not think that that is because you are part of the problem that the op is talking about?

Your grammar isn’t brilliant, your etiquette is non existent and you sound rather common.

Think again, don’t be so smug, you were probably laughed at at school.

EtonianMother you were definitely laughed at at school!

Can you really not spot the lightheartedness in the "feel deprived" comment? WTF is wrong with people?