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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is weird if DS signs this MDay card?

113 replies

hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 11:43

DH has just asked me to get DS (6) to sign Dh' mums MDay card. I asked why when it is for his mum (MIL) and he said she likes DS better than him Hmm. IS this not weird?
If DS did not have a mum then it would be like saying you she is a mtoher figure for him, but as I am well and alive, and very much his main carer, is it not a bit direspectful to me that Dh is getting him to write a card to her? Especially as DH rarely bothers to get me anything from the kids other than whatever crap he sees in the supermarket. Last year he bought me a mug - Id on't drink hot drinks so couldn't have put much less thought into it.

OP posts:
jaseyraex · 30/03/2019 11:45

Can he not get her a grandma/granny/nana whatever card from DS instead? Agree it's weird to have her grandson sign it rather than her son!

Mrsjayy · 30/03/2019 11:45

Yes it is weird your dh is a bit weird about the whole thing get him to sign his mums card not everything has to involve young children

ApolloandDaphne · 30/03/2019 11:46

I don't think it is weird to get your DS to sign the card for his GM. GP's tend to really love things done by their GC. It isn't disrespectful to you at all. The issue with your DH not helping your DS to buy you something is a different matter entirely.

TokenGinger · 30/03/2019 11:47

I think it's really cute. My mum would love it if my DC did this.

Mrsjayy · 30/03/2019 11:47

Yes a for granny on MD card is a better idea if your dh wants to go down that road

ApolloandDaphne · 30/03/2019 11:47

Obviously i am in the minority then!

Do others sign their card from the whole family? I've just written mine to my DM and signed it from me, DH, both adult DD's and the dog!

Badwifey · 30/03/2019 11:48

I think you are massively overreacting. It's only a card to his nana.

spanieleyes · 30/03/2019 11:48

We view Mothering Sunday as a day to be grateful for all mothers, not just your own. So my children always get their grandmas a card/present as well as one for me! I get one for my mother and ex MIL. For us, it is the opposite of disrespectfulGrin However, most families have their own way of celebrating so each to their own!

Nanasueathome · 30/03/2019 11:48

My 5 year old grandson made a card for me
Happy Momthers day

He wrote it all himself too

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 11:49

If it was a DGma card - appropriate.
Why would DS sign a "mum" card for his DGma?

OP posts:
RLOU30 · 30/03/2019 11:49

I think your overreacting. No one is denying your alive well and are his actual mum! I'm sure his mother is under no illusion.
It's just a sweet thing to do & I'll be getting my mum a card from my 10mo

troubleswillbeoutofsight · 30/03/2019 11:50

YANBU
She's your DH's Mum, not your DS's

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 11:52

He has also bought her a shit present despite me suggesting something nice a few weeks ago she actually needed and would appreciate. Instead he has bought her some chocolate. Not even a box - Just a big bar. It seems so thoughtless!

OP posts:
Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 11:53

Rlou will it say to Grandma or mum on the front though? And will she get one from you also? That is the difference I think.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 30/03/2019 11:54

Will she like it, though? And if you’re taking the usual feminist stance on presents for MiL being his responsibility, you can hardly criticise his choice.

spanieleyes · 30/03/2019 11:55

Cards are generic. They say "Happy Mother's Day", not "Happy you are my mother Day" So, assuming your MIL is a mother (!) she can receive a card!

Lovestonap · 30/03/2019 11:56

Honestly? Don't over think it. Take any and all opportunities to show family members they are loved. Whoever signs the cards.

PrinceOfPies · 30/03/2019 11:57

Does it say happy mothers day? Or "to my mum"

First is fine. Second slightly odd.

Though no one is confused over whi ds's mum is so I wouldn't worry about it.

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 11:58

Alsohuman - it is shit dairymilk - does anyone enjoy that theses days Grin

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 30/03/2019 11:59

I think it's your DHs resentment showing through, even bordering on the passive aggressive - he's openly stated "my DM loves DS more than me" so he's rubbing it in by having DS sign the Mother's Day card.

I agree OP, you're DSs mum, it's the day of the year you deserve to have the spotlight on you.

A Happy Nan/Granny/Grandma car is different, because it makes it clear he's doing it as her Grandson. But Happy Mothers Day is not appropriate in the context of what you've described.

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 11:59

"to my Mum on Mothers day".

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 30/03/2019 12:00

People will always come out with I can't see your problem, when it isn't happening to them!

steff13 · 30/03/2019 12:01

It's not weird or disrespectful.

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 12:02

Daisychain01-His mum would literally do anyting for him but there is little emotion there. That said, the only time I have tried to see his mum hug him, he backed away. I think if there is resentment or ill feeling on DH part - it isn't entirely his mums fault.

OP posts:
PrinceOfPies · 30/03/2019 12:02

"to my Mum on Mothers day".

It makes dh look lazy. It's not disrespectful just stupid.