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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is weird if DS signs this MDay card?

113 replies

hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 11:43

DH has just asked me to get DS (6) to sign Dh' mums MDay card. I asked why when it is for his mum (MIL) and he said she likes DS better than him Hmm. IS this not weird?
If DS did not have a mum then it would be like saying you she is a mtoher figure for him, but as I am well and alive, and very much his main carer, is it not a bit direspectful to me that Dh is getting him to write a card to her? Especially as DH rarely bothers to get me anything from the kids other than whatever crap he sees in the supermarket. Last year he bought me a mug - Id on't drink hot drinks so couldn't have put much less thought into it.

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 30/03/2019 12:03

Why would DS sign a "mum" card for his DGma?
Why not? What’s the real harm? It’s not like anyone is going to suddenly start thinking his nan is his mum.

OohYeBelter47 · 30/03/2019 12:04

It is weird and disrespectful

Lllot5 · 30/03/2019 12:05

I’ve just opened one from son/ girlfriend and two grandsons. Be odd if they didn’t do that I think.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/03/2019 12:06

Well he's being cheap and LAZY or he just hasn't given it much thought. The Nans get a card saying Nanny off DS. DH thought it was weird and either would have put DS in his card or not at all. I have trained him to buy her a card off DS and I pick both Nans up a little present off him. He ADORES his Mum so it isn't that he's horrid, and he def isn't trying to replace me lol, it just wasn't something they did when they were kids

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 12:08

If it was from it all of us then maybe. But DH doesn't usually put my name at all.

OP posts:
spanieleyes · 30/03/2019 12:14

Now that's weird!

clairemcnam · 30/03/2019 12:15

I agree with you OP. Mothers day cards should be signed by children.

MsSquiz · 30/03/2019 12:16

I know BIL gets a card for MIL for Mother's Day and signs it from him, SIL & the 3 kids. The same way DH signs his card from both of us.

Saves buying an extra card, everyone's included.

I don't understand why people get so hung up on this... MIL isn't my mother, but I would never say to DH "don't sign the card from me because she's not my mum"

I could understand being bothered about this if your DH didn't then get you a card from your DS.

S1naidSucks · 30/03/2019 12:19

to my Mum on Mothers day

Bollocks to that! It’s different if the whole family is signing, but totally weird if it’s just from YOUR child.

BlueMerchant · 30/03/2019 12:20

I just think it makes him look like he couldn't be bothered to get a grandmother card so has got dgc to write on his.
I don't think there's anything more to it.

Mrslouislou · 30/03/2019 12:21

YABU

Carpetburns · 30/03/2019 12:21

Does it matter? You sound jealous

RJnomore1 · 30/03/2019 12:22

I think it’s odd.

And if he’s having some sort of issue with his mother it’s hardly the way to solve it is.

DoctorNicoleWatterson · 30/03/2019 12:22

I always sign my DM's card from all of us, she's my mother but we're all wishing her nice day 🤷‍♀️

S1naidSucks · 30/03/2019 12:23

Does it matter? You sound jealous

It sounds more like the husband is jealous and trying to make a point to his mother. Even if the OP was jealous, so what? This is her child.

DoctorNicoleWatterson · 30/03/2019 12:23

If it was from it all of us then maybe. But DH doesn't usually put my name at all.

Just saw this, a bit more weird then.

Dramatical · 30/03/2019 12:28

You are making a huge mountain out of a very tiny molehill here. It literally makes no difference to anyone if your DS signs a card.

Dramatical · 30/03/2019 12:30

If it was from it all of us then maybe. But DH doesn't usually put my name at all.

Ah. I missed the actual problem.

This situation isn't about you. If you have an issue with your DH not including you as part of the family on birthday/Christmas cards then you need to discuss your relationship with him.

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 12:33

Dramatical, I wouldn't have an issue if the card was just DH. Seems a bit weird if it is just DH and DS or just DS.

OP posts:
Selmababies · 30/03/2019 12:33

I've just received a MD card from my daughter's paternal grandad saying what a great mother and father I've been to her.
I'm very touched at his tribute and his acknowledgement (not for the first time) that his son was such a deadbeat father.
I really do think that Mothers Day can and should be be a celebration of all mothers everywhere.

Dramatical · 30/03/2019 12:35

Dramatical, I wouldn't have an issue if the card was just DH. Seems a bit weird if it is just DH and DS or just DS.

You have an issue because you are not included. I get that for all other cards, but in Mother's Day? No. It's fine for your DS to sign and not you.

GreatDuckCookery · 30/03/2019 12:38

I saw some Mother's day cards in the supermarket for “ wonderful grandmother/nana “ and thought how odd.
When did this become a thing?

maras2 · 30/03/2019 12:38

My grandchildren 'countersign' my kid's Mother's day cards, which is cute.
Sorry love but your H sounds rather unpleasant.Sad.
Hope he does step up and get you something for your DS to give you tomorrow but just incase have Flowers from me. Smile

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 30/03/2019 12:41

Dramatical - Should I not be included because she is not my mother?
Like she isn't DS's mother?

I don't care about not being on the card. I just think it is strange for MIL to recieve a card off my son instead of her own. As well as - fine. But instead of, just seems a bit weird.

OP posts:
Dramatical · 30/03/2019 12:43

I saw some Mother's day cards in the supermarket for “ wonderful grandmother/nana “ and thought how odd.
When did this become a thing?

I don't know but I am very glad that it is a 'thing'.

My granny deserves that card every day of the week. She was more of a mother to me that my own 'mother' managed to be.

Don't think things like that are weird, they have a place in the market, not always for good reasons, but the demand is there.

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