WE are pregnant.

[bridgetreilly]

No. No you aren't.

SHE is pregnant and HE is not pregnant. It's not a joint enterprise. You are both expecting a baby, fine. But unless you are the one with the baby growing inside you, you are not pregnant. Not even a little bit.

I dont particular like it and find it a bit strange but i cant imagine wasting my energy getting "livid" about it and finding it "vile" a bit of a ott reaction to a phrase

I'm so glad this wasn't around back in the Dark Ages when DD1 was on her way.

'We' didn't want a medicalised birth. 'We' didn't want pain relief. 'We' wanted to have what is now called a 'Wild Birth'.

Like fuck did 'We'.

I signed up for a planned section because I didn't trust the recently batshit prick I'd been stupid enough to allow to get me pregnant not to take a left turn on the way to the hospital and try to get me to labour in a fucking wood somewhere.

I had the epidural not take properly, so I had the pain of the incision and hands being put inside me before they realised my screaming wasn't psychosomatic.

I had the pain, infection and trauma of that.

He had the gall to resent me for 'depriving him of his Natural Birth Experience'

Worked out alright in the end. His wife (after I roundly dumped him eight months later and he found another victim partner) had both kids by section and secretly got herself sterilised during the second one because he had been going on about how he needed to experience natural childbirth, so they 'had' to have another one before she'd even given birth to the final one. And I got pregnant and I gave birth to DD2 with somebody else who didn't think he owned my body.

It's not just words. It's appropriative. It's claiming that his experience is equivalent to hers. It's claiming that what's happening to her body is his

What a load of rubbish. It's just people being excited about having a baby. Do we have to read into the minutiae of every sentence spoken these days. There are some truly joyless people around

It doesn’t bother me

It's only a short step to 'we're having a period', 'we're going through the menopause'..... It needs to be stopped now!! I'm sure no woman says 'we're recovering from testicular cancer' or similar.

I just love MN to give me a good laugh. Are some people so serious and that bitter, that a man saying "we" are pregnant is a sign of being controlling lol

It's not just words. It's appropriative. It's claiming that his experience is equivalent to hers. It's claiming that what's happening to her body is his... This is just hilarious.

I can genuinely say when my then husband would answer questions regarding another child as “we’re infertile” I was beyond grateful that he did so, despite it being all me.

But as a couple you were infertile - neither of you could have a baby within the pair. For DH and I 'we' had some trouble conceiving, 'I' had multiple miscarriages, 'I' then had a successful pregnancy and 'we' had a baby.

I honestly can't see why people think that just being accurate about who is actually pregnant is somehow a sign that you're less enthusiastic

That's not the same @Jacques. That's a kind thing for him to say. You were infertile as a couple

There’s the thing though, I don’t agree.

Which was my point in my first post by all means don’t use a phrase that irritates you, but I cant get worked up about how other couples describe pregnancy.

And if I had actually managed to have another I couldn’t have cared less how he described the pregnancy, the mere fact that there was a pregnancy would be enough.

It's important to retain the basic, you'd think obvious, truth, that it's women who experience the reality of pregnancy

And it’s pretty obvious really isn’t it? I mean everyone knows that. “We’re pregnant” is for many people simply a short-hand phrase for “we’re having a baby”.

As I said, nobody is unreasonable to dislike the phrase. But people who actually pull others up on it? Unreasonable.

"Unfortunately we're not pregnant as we have erectile dysfunction "

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!

As I said I suspect my view is coloured by my experiences with infertility.

For me it simply ranks so low on a list of things I would worry about with relation to a pregnancy.

DH said it once. Once and I ripped him a new one.

Very annoying phrase and it's only the woman who is actually pregnant!

And if I had actually managed to have another I couldn’t have cared less how he described the pregnancy, the mere fact that there was a pregnancy would be enough.

As I said, I was pretty bloody happy about my successful pregnancy after two years trying and three miscarriages. I still wouldn't have liked DH saying 'we' were pregnant. Saying that you're not allowed to have any thoughts except gratitude in pregnancy is both simplistic and a way of shutting women down.

I still wouldn't have liked DH saying 'we' were pregnant. Saying that you're not allowed to have any thoughts except gratitude in pregnancy is both simplistic and a way of shutting women down

I didn’t say you weren’t allowed any thoughts but gratitude. Very crucially I said I meaning, you know, me.

I find your post smacks a little of “competitive pregnancy issues” though. You wouldn’t have liked your DH to say it, totally fine - your choice. Your experience doesn’t negate mine as mind doesn’t negate yours.

Ooh it's nauseating.

Only wankers say this.

Yes, it's totally embarrassing to hear this and makes me want to scream. Very much the current offering though thanks to US importation