WE are pregnant.

[bridgetreilly]

No. No you aren't.

SHE is pregnant and HE is not pregnant. It's not a joint enterprise. You are both expecting a baby, fine. But unless you are the one with the baby growing inside you, you are not pregnant. Not even a little bit.

YANBU.

I even cringe at the TV advert where they check the Pregnancy test together. Never been anyone's business but my own until I had tested and decided what I was doing about the Result. (I have a DH and 3 DC and DH completely in agreement with my PoV or I wouldn't have married him).

A Woman's Body, A Woman's pregnancy, A Woman's choice.

Hamster YABVU. Obs your screaming and moaning were making the baby's father suffer terribly. He already told you he had a migraine. He was in serious pain and all you could do was LIE THERE?

@Gettingnowhere you're right I was being completely selfish as always. He had a lucky escape when I finally left him. He's back with his mum now who can make a fuss of him and tend to his every whim.

Hamster You mean as well as the screaming, moaning, insensitivity and general laziness, you left his whims UNTENDED? You're lucky he jizzed in you at all. I bet his mother warned him about you.

I don't see a problem with it. Surely it's better to have a partner who enters into a pregnancy fully, rather than one who regards it as 'yours' to deal with.

My dh would have loved to have been part of the pregnancy test time. He loved the idea of finding out together, like the couple on tbe advert. But, respected the fact that I wanted to do that bit by myself. It felt too much to share for me. I couldn't quite cope with my own feelings towards a negative result let alone his. I needed to get to grips with the result before I shared it. Dh would have loved to have carried our baby if he could have. He was so involved in every part of the process in the ways that he could be. He did everything he could to do all of the crappy housework jobs so I didn't have to. He never said he was pregnant, because that is incorrect, but he was most definitely in it with me. For the vast majority of couples, the 'we' but is a reflection of the shared experience of expecting to become parents. Whilst I would absolutely call a man out if he said 'we are pregnant', I'd do it in a gentle-poking-fun kind of way. Exactly the same way as I do when someone says less when they mean fewer. It isn't offensive and it isn't appropriation. The intention behind the statement by the vast majority of people is twee, not anti-female.

@Gettingnowhere Haha that reminds me of when I actually did complain to her about him ringing me constantly on the very rare occasion he had the kids and she told me "you're lucky he lets you go out it's not a mans job to watch them".

As I said though in public it was all "we are pregnant" and "we gave birth to a healthy baby...".

Utterly nauseating.

'"you're lucky he lets you go out it's not a mans job to watch them".'

Oh Hamster

Bob Hope....envelope....

Hamster I think your ex is an absolute and utter twat. Hopefully, he is not representative of men in general though.

Surely it's better to have a partner who enters into a pregnancy fully, rather than one who regards it as 'yours' to deal with.

I think it's not an either/or case, though; a partner can be immersed and interested and supportive of the pregnancy without using language to suggest they're the ones going through it. "We're having a baby" is accurate; two people can have a baby. "We're pregnant" isn't accurate; two people can't be pregnant with the same baby and I agree with others that it's nauseating.

It's completely yuck.

'We' didn't menstruate/ovulate/conceive/gestate/give birth/breastfeed
I did all that with my female body.
You ejaculated, and bravo for that, I think we can let you keep your singular success for yourself, we won't be claiming it as a joint endeavour although no doubt it could be argued there was influence on my part.

We are expecting a baby - fine.
We are - not fine

HATE it with a passion. My XP used to say it all the time and it would give me the rage. 😡

Heard a man on the radio the other day, he said "we are having a c section". WTF?! That is just beyond a joke.

Meh couldn't care less. TO be fair I'd actually much prefer go through a traumatic labour myself than watch someone I love do it, maybe because I suffer from anxiety quite badly though. (If I did have to stand by and watch I certainly wouldn't make it all about me and tell everyone how hard it was for me though).

@PengAly he knows how much the phrase annoys me. Is it any different to asking someone to stop whistling because it's irritating? Hardly controlling.

Dh was dealing with a complaining customer who was high rate. She asked to speak to dhs colleague who she had originally been dealing with. Dh responded with...

X is on paternity at the moment as he has had a baby.

The customer very angrily responded that it was impossible for him to have had a baby and doesnt he mean that his partner has had a baby.

I've had men at work say this to me, I always look at them quizzically and say 'what, both of you?' Tends to stop it.

However, I can beat that. BIL would say 'this is X, she's carrying my child' about his partner. Accurate but very vomit inducing and while I suspect he was trying to be excessively polite it was very much 'she is a vessel for my offspring'.

@homethenababy its completely different. Its his profile. Your use of language is what made you sound controlling.

"I am pregnant" and "We are expecting" are correct.
Not "We are pregnant"

Exdh talked to all and sundry about 'our' LSCS. Fuck off prat

@PengAly as he would make the announcement on behalf of us both I do feel I should have a say. Anyway, it was said tongue in cheek to DH and if he thought I was being out of order or controlling he would soon speak up.

YANBU to dislike it.

However anywho who makes “witty” rejoinders to someone using the phrase is equally unreasonable.