WE are pregnant.

[bridgetreilly]

No. No you aren't.

SHE is pregnant and HE is not pregnant. It's not a joint enterprise. You are both expecting a baby, fine. But unless you are the one with the baby growing inside you, you are not pregnant. Not even a little bit.

I always thought "we are pregnant" sounded a bit off

Maybe it's a way of saying "we are having a baby", but it's very badly put...

Only the woman is pregnant, not the man..

It's ghastly

Uuuugghhhh

I agree - it's an expression that makes my fanny clench...

I wonder how long until "WE gave birth" becomes the norm

Very cringey

It's horrible! (< not envy).

I also vividly remember a lunch with two male colleagues and one female dhring which the men talked in great physical detail about how emotionally jarring "their" births had been (both CS).

Neither female colleague nor I are mothers. But, guys, look ...

... when I'm having lunch and you're literally discussing in detail how one would go about cutting open pieces of anatomy which I happen to own and you do not I kind of don't want to be having lunch anymore. Also: if you think you're emotionally scarred by the experience, spare a thought for your physically scarred wives, will you?

@NewAccount 270219 Fri 29-Mar-19 23:10:21
It's absolutely vile

You sound a bit hysterical .

vile
[vʌɪl]

ADJECTIVE
extremely unpleasant.
"he has a vile temper" · [More]
synonyms:
foul · nasty · unpleasant · bad · disagreeable · horrid · horrible · dreadful · abominable · atrocious · offensive · obnoxious · odious · unsavoury · repulsive · off-putting · [More]
morally bad; wicked.
"as vile a rogue as ever lived"
synonyms:
wicked · evil · iniquitous · heinous · villainous · diabolical · diabolic · fiendish · vicious · murderous · barbarous · cruel · black · dark · rotten · nefarious · vile · foul · [More]
archaic
of little worth or value.
"all the feasts that thou hast shared erewhile, to mine shall be but vile"

You sound a bit like you don't understand hyperbolic language for effect

No WE are not pregnant. Yes, WE are having a baby.There is a difference.

Was watching something on tv the other day and a man was talking about his wife's pregnancy loss. It jumped out at me how he said, "We were pregnant" but then, "She lost the baby." It was really jarring.

That's strange. And very sad.

Honestly this doesn’t really offend me. When my DH and I found out I was pregnant, three months after being told my severe endometriosis meant I’d likely never be able to carry a baby to term - we said this, but never did he take ANY credit. I often heard him telling people how he was amazed and in complete awe of watching me grow and carry our twins (as it turned out!) through what was a difficult pregnancy. So whilst we said “we’re pregnant” he was under no illusion about my being the person actually going through pregnancy... he now tells our twins every day that he thinks they have the best Mummy. So just because some people use a phrase that isn’t technically correct, doesn’t mean that it’s automatically sexist or controlling IMO.

Wow - have you got nothing that is really bothering you in your life that you need to worry about things like this?

Lucky you.

On a side note, bet there are lots of things that you do that annoy other people, including starting posts about things that make you really annoyed yet in all actuality have no effect on you whatsoever.

KellyW88 PPs aren’t necessarily irked by it because it’s ‘controlling or sexist’ (though that can play a big part of it). But really it shows a complete lack of understanding of words and words really matter.

Being pregnant literally means: “1.
(of a woman or female animal) having a child or young developing in the uterus.”.

Unless you are somehow suggesting your uterus also belongs to your husband then no, he is definitely not pregnant. He may indeed be having a baby but he is not on a joint venture of pregnancy.

Wow - have you got nothing that is really bothering you in your life that you need to worry about things like this?

Wow! Are you really so one-dimensional that only one thing can bother you at a time?

Agreed. Very little bothers me but WE are pregnant makes my toes curl.

@sockinperil, no, not at all, plenty of things bother me in fact. What doesn't bother me to the point of feeling a need to proclaim my annoyance to the world however is when people say things that has no effect on me and that harms absolutely no one.

It's one of those things that people have recently decided they have to get really irate about. Comes up on mumsnet at least once a week.

Can't say it bothers me personally.

This is a chat forum where people talk and post serious and trivial things. OP can express their annoyance and you can express your disagreement. Or you could not post at all. That's the good thing about it.

If everyone said "YABU it's harmless" OP might change their feelings, or not.

People can be annoyed/irritated at stuff and ask others opinions. At no point does OP state it's affecting their life.

Plenty of posts in MN make me eye roll but I just move on without commenting.

StoppinBy How do you know it harms no one else?

Words really do matter! I would be pretty pissed if my DP claimed to be pregnant (thankfully he didn’t), because it diminishes my experience of morning sickness, giving up alcohol and foods for the good of the foetus, pain and discomfort, bloating, weight gain and labour if he were in anyway to suggest he is implicit in that by also calling himself pregnant.

What is wrong exactly with just saying ‘we are having a baby rather than having to ‘share’ or take over piggyback on women’s experiences?

Be happy! people in love, it's a joyous occasion. I expect my partner to be doing ALL the work outside being physically pregnant during our pregnancy:) EVERYTHING. So he has most definitely earnt the right to say 'we'. I also expect him to raise our child equally.

@socksinperil, if you don't want your partner to say it then that is between the two of you but other people saying it does not in any way harm you and that is what this post is about.

I had two really shite pregnancies and two really shite labours and I see nothing wrong with telling people that, we, as a couple are pregnant and that in no affects anyone else.

I am more than open to hearing how someone else saying that would affect you if you care to explain it to me.

I think it's nice when someone says that. He's showing solidarity with his partner. I guess I see where you're coming from but it's a bit pedantic for me.

'So just because some people use a phrase that isn’t technically correct, doesn’t mean that it’s automatically sexist or controlling IMO.'

I personally don't find it 'sexist' or 'controlling' in the slightest.

Just am extremely cringeworthy thing to say.

But then I cringe a little when men give it loads and use they are 'in awe' of women carrying babies etc.

OP YANBU. Perhaps we should blame Mrs Thatcher for the comment 'we have become a grandmother' for starting this, though this is the least of the things to dislike her time as PM for.