To beg you all to quit moaning about Mothering Sunday

[NorthernLurker]

Every bloody year it's the same - women moaning about not getting anything, moaning about men not doing enough, not doing the right thing.......
Then there's the complaints about the mil wanting some, any, recognition of herself as a mother when madam mumsnetter has given the world the great gift of her bawling infant and thus the day is all about her now and mil can go rot.

The threads have started already and it's SO TEDIOUS.

How about if we are fortunate enough to have our kids alive and well and for a bonus our mums too we just decide that's enough and pack in the moaning. Instead giving our energy to supporting parents without children, children without parents and those who are like mothers to us?

[PBo83]

I want to moan and I bloody well will!

I'm a Stepdad and Mother's Day pretty much sucks. Ironically the only mother I don't get to see on the day is my own.

I have to source and buy my wife's present and card and then badger my step daughter to actually put some bloody effort into writing a nice message in it (when she really can't be arsed).

I then have to spend the day being super-nice to my mother in law (also not my mother) and woe betide the idea of doing anything I want to do at any point for the ENTIRE weekend.

Father's day isn't much better though.

[purpleunicorns]

Thankyou, if you do have Mother's/MILS who you do get in with please let them know how much you appreciate them. You never know what's around the corner

[CookieWarbler]

We've been told this week that my Mum doesn't have long left to live. This will be her last Mother's Day.
Be grateful if you have a mother around to tell her that you love her

[Charles11]

purpleunicorns I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you have an amazing and wonderful day.

Are there that many moaning threads? I notice all the sad threads where posters have barely been acknowledged and all they wanted was a card and a cup of tea.

If you have a shit partner and mother’s day is important to you, please do your own thing with your dcs. Help them make a card for you and have your favourite food for breakfast or buy yourself a bunch flowers or go out. It doesn’t have to be a depressing day.

[Urgh2019]

It always makes me think of my friend. She had 6 children. Her MIL came to visit (and stay) every Mother’s Day weekend, where she would spend the whole weekend on her arse drinking and being waited on by my friend (her DH would insist on sitting with her) and no one would help with the children.
I remember my friend asking when was her Mother’s Day.
Anyway she split up with DH and he actually asked if his mother could still come to hers for Mother’s Day hahaha.....no.

[Stinkytoe]

I’ve given up my career, done about 90% of all the baby stuff, worked out all the baby admin and health things and managed to keep the house clean and the fridge stocked with healthy food. Meanwhile, my husband’s day to day kid has carried on’as Normal pretty much. So yes, I’m sorry but it is my turn to have some time in the sun. Luckily my mother and mother in law have had their fill of Mother’s Day after 30 years Plus and know to stand back.

Tbh, if your husband’s this useless day to day I wouldn’t expect too much! I’d rather a more hands on husband than a posh bunch of flowers once a year, you’re not his skivvy!

[Lepetitpiggy]

My mum died two months ago and it's still really raw but I don't give a monkeys about who does what on that day! I'll miss her of course, but we certainly wont be going out with the kids and grandkids as it will be busy, expensive and really all very unnecessary!

[Prequelle]

Tell you what I won't bother being happy either coz there's someone SoOoO much better off elsewhere.

[Aethelthryth]

YANBU- so much self-indulgent moaning

[katseyes7]

l'm sick to death of emails and adverts trying to sell me stuff for Mothers Day.
My mother took her own life six years ago at the age of 83. Every bloody email about "the perfect gift for mum!" reminds me of it.

[Dimsumlosesum]

If I get a pasta pictured, I'm honestly chuffed. First baby died, so, I'm just glad a) I even got to be a mother again in the first place, and b) that they're alive.

[Angellucy07]

Just looking forward to a smile and a cuddle from my eldest who will be 20 this year but never spoken a word in his life.
We don't go out anywhere that day.
Just a quiet day with the children.
The gifts they make me are more precious than anything bought.
I genuinely mean that.

[Climbingahoneytree]

There's nothing wrong with showing your Mum, MIL, whatever a bit of love on Mother's day. There is nothing wrong with buying a card from your DC to give to your DW either.

I regularly show my Mum lots of appreciation but know she likes a card on Mother's day, and seeing as she raised me and has helped me out a lot over the years that's the very least I can do for her. Some people don't have good relationships with their parents but that doesn't mean I shouldn't celebrate mine.

A few years back, somebody (aged approx 68) had a rant at me (aged 27) for posting about a Father's day day out with my Dad on facebook, because his Dad wasn't around anymore. Without sounding heartless, it was something (according to him) like his 16th father's day without his Dad so I found this a bit unreasonable and wouldn't say I was being insensitive by enjoying time with my Dad and posting a photo.

Similarly, I would like DH to get a card from DC for mother's day, but I won't expect to be showered with gifts/them not to spend any time with anyone else because that is ridiculous. I do know some women that don't like their OHs seeing their MILs on Mother's day which is conpletely unfair (unless it involves a 7 hour drive like one pp!)

[NorthernLurker]

No I'm not a mil. Please do search me, I've been here for 12 years, three daughters, no in laws except my own mil and fil who I adore. There are no bounds to the hatred some people feel for mil though is there?

There was a comment further up about it being for active mothers. It implied that was those with younger children. Well that's just wrong. I'm parenting an adult now as well as a just about adult and a nearly teen. This is far harder than the baby years. Mothers of adults are still mothers!

Purpleunicorns and watcherofthenight my thoughts are with you.

Just to be crystal clear - I've no issue with people posting about finding the day hard because of loss or abuse. Support can and will be given. It's very much the moaning about the wrong colour pony as a poster said above that gets on my nerves. I didn't have kids to get 'acknowledgment' and I think if you're hanging so much on a fabricated exaggeration of a day then you need to take a long look at yourself.

[SnowyAlpsandPeaks]

I think Mother’s Day is a waste of time. Money spent for the sake of it- cards, flowers, chocolates, others gifts, meals out. Often leads to arguments, people being upset, children being upset.

I’m not a card lover, I think they are a waste to stick them on the shelf for a week then recycle them. I’ve always told my kids I’m happy with a hug and a ‘I love you’.

Same goes for Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day, grandparents day and so on. Likewise I’d prefer a text for my birthday than a card again for the same reasons.

If anything why don’t we just have an appreciation day- and that can be for whoever you want to show appreciation too in your life. But it doesn’t have to be shown with commercially bought crap.

[Fridasrage]

Ironically, this thread about other threads about mothers day being tedious is also tedious.

[Dungeondragon15]

I don't have a MIl but if I did I would be pretty pissed off if I was expected do anything for her on Mothers Day. My own mother is happy with a card and flowers on Mothers Day. Now that I am a mother and my children are still at home with all the work that involves she sees it as my day rather than hers and I think that is how it should be.

Are you a MIL OP?

[JustDanceAddict]

A card is fine w me and maybe going out for tea and cake locally.
My mum wasn’t bothered, I only sent a card once I left home.
I struggle more with other dates more - anniversary of mum’s death etc.

[Alsohuman]

This is the third Mothers' Day since my beloved mum died and I really miss planning treats and making a fuss of her. For myself I don't give a stuff whether my son remembers it or not. My reason for celebrating has gone. 💐 for every daughter in the same boat.

[Dungeondragon15]

There was a comment further up about it being for active mothers. It implied that was those with younger children. Well that's just wrong. I'm parenting an adult now as well as a just about adult and a nearly teen. This is far harder than the baby years. Mothers of adults are still mothers!

You think being a parent of an adult is far harder than the baby years?! Your adult child may have specific issues that make it hard work but that really isn't the case for most people.

[WatcherOfTheNight]

Thanks @NorthernLurker ,I'm trying to put on my brave face for Ds but he is finding it very hard too.

It's as a Pp said ,I know the posts you mean, I've been here as long as you have & some years it's ridiculous.
Its not about thread police ,it's about not complaining,it's when you've bugger all to moan about!

[thecatsthecats]

You think being a parent of an adult is far harder than the baby years?! Your adult child may have specific issues that make it hard work but that really isn't the case for most people.

My mum is harder work now I'm older! Last weekend she was bitching non stop about my nephew's christening, and ignoring anything I had to say about myself, and talking non stop about her own affairs as usual.

At least when I shit my nappy she had to pay attention to that.

[outpinked]

I majorly eye rolled at the thread about children making Mother’s Day cards and how it should be stopped because of the children who don’t have a Mother. How many children in the UK don’t have a Mother/Foster Mum/step-mum/grandmother/aunt etc they could hand the card to? It’s just ridiculous.

I think a handmade card and cup of tea is sufficient and that’s all I expect. No song and dance, just like to spend the day with my DC.

[JessicaWakefieldSVH]

So you’re moaning about people moaning about Mothering Sunday. Right.

[HeathRobinson]

That was my 'active mother' comment. I am the mother of adults. You can't say it's as hard as looking after 3 under 5. 😂
And certainly if mine have dc, they should be the ones having flowers/a meal out or whatever. I'll have had 30 years of it. It's enough.