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AIBU?

To beg you all to quit moaning about Mothering Sunday

150 replies

NorthernLurker · 28/03/2019 22:29

Every bloody year it's the same - women moaning about not getting anything, moaning about men not doing enough, not doing the right thing.......
Then there's the complaints about the mil wanting some, any, recognition of herself as a mother when madam mumsnetter has given the world the great gift of her bawling infant and thus the day is all about her now and mil can go rot.

The threads have started already and it's SO TEDIOUS.

How about if we are fortunate enough to have our kids alive and well and for a bonus our mums too we just decide that's enough and pack in the moaning. Instead giving our energy to supporting parents without children, children without parents and those who are like mothers to us?

OP posts:

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madcatladyforever · 01/04/2019 08:55

I told adult son years ago to not do it as its just another generic card day and does not measure in any way our love and caring for each other. So we haven't done it in a long time.

Pa1oma · 01/04/2019 08:51

NorthernLurker - are you ok? I mean this kindly, but you sound very defensive and angry.

Ihatehashtags · 01/04/2019 08:40

Ugh so annoying isn’t it

HeronLanyon · 01/04/2019 07:05

northernlurker thank you ! I also hope everyone had as good a day as poss. I was in a group where we all raised a glass to our departed mums. New club for me to be in - was good to have lovely memories etc.

WatcherOfTheNight · 31/03/2019 23:55

Thank you Northern

NorthernLurker · 31/03/2019 22:35

Just to say am thinking of all thosewho shared on this thread that they are missing children or mums. Hope you got through the day ok.

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Beaniebaby4 · 30/03/2019 19:23

Yes! My DH feels huge pressure to make the day perfect and keeps saying he’s not got much on behalf of DD. I just asked for cupcakes, a family day out and takeaway. First Mother’s Day as a mum spent in a&e was a major let down and admittedly hormones got the better of me that year but I don’t need to be showered with gifts. Just want to make some nice memories.
Admittedly have gone a bit overboard with gifts for MIL this year on behalf of DD and DH but went through a bit of a rough patch so really want to show her that she is appreciated despite me being difficult sometimes! I’m making sure we go to see her on the day as it’s mother’s day and she is DH’s mum so it’s important.
My mum passed away when I was younger so a bit of an odd day but I want to make sure MIL is properly appreciated

Middlrm · 30/03/2019 19:16

An event or special occasion has different meanings to different people

We all have different family situations and personalities..

Some of us want to be queens for a day

Some of us hate Mother’s Day

Some want flowers chocolate the works

Some have difficult family members and deal by sharing their load/ stress

Others like my damn lucky self have great mum and mil ...

Doesn’t mean we cant share ... just like you are now

This is my opinion and I appreciate yours too x x

Dungeondragon15 · 30/03/2019 19:11

Parenting babies is a breeze compared to teenagers and young adults. You can contain babies and young children whereas older dc you have a lot less say and a lot more worries.

You're not actively parenting them by worrying about them though are you? If they are adults it doesn't make any difference whether you worry about them or not.

Kennehora · 30/03/2019 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 30/03/2019 17:41

Parenting babies is a breeze compared to teenagers and young adults. You can contain babies and young children whereas older dc you have a lot less say and a lot more worries.

HeathRobinson · 30/03/2019 15:23

Well said Dungeon.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 30/03/2019 14:18

I love mothers day.

I appreciate my mum all year but I love treating her on this day and making her feel extra special. We've always done that. My dad would take us shopping as children to get her gifts, we'd take her for lunch and so on. Tomorrow we're going for a family lunch with my mum, her mum and my children included. It's just what we do as a family.

On the other hand, DH doesn't see his mum becuase in his own words 'he can't be bothered'. I make him get her card as he didn't even do that when I met him.

Alsohuman · 30/03/2019 14:09

We’re going to have to agree to disagree, then.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/03/2019 14:03

I take it your kids are not yet adults @Dungeon. Maybe come back to us when they are.

Well you have taken it wrong. I have an adult child so do not need to "come back later". I already know they do not require as much "parenting" as young children. The person who originally said it is not as hard as looking after younger children also has adult children. Young adults still require some guidance but that isn't the same thing. Older adults generally don't need any input from their parents. If anything it is often the other way around.

Alsohuman · 30/03/2019 11:03

I take it your kids are not yet adults @Dungeon. Maybe come back to us when they are.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/03/2019 10:50

my kids are great but in the last few years I've seen friends parenting adults deal with everything from job stress to relationship breakdown and abuse to infertility to serious mental health issues and suicide. Do you seriously think parenting somebody who won't shut up, somebody who draws on the walls and somebody who poos 18 times a day and only eats food that's beige is harder than that.

With perhaps the exception of serious mental health issues and suicide (which could happen at any age) absolutely I think "parenting" adults is much easier. By the time they experience relationship breakdown or infertility they aren't really young adults so what "parenting" is required? My parents have probably felt a bit upset when I or my siblings have had relationship breakdowns, infertility issues or job stress but they weren't required to do anything. How is feeling a bit upset "parenting"!

HeronLanyon · 30/03/2019 10:31

Tough not tonight! I am not that off my head with bereavement fogginess !

HeronLanyon · 30/03/2019 10:30

My lovely ma died a few months ago. We were never mega about mother’s day (except she privately loved us making a bit of a fuss ). Tomorrow will be tonight but I absolutely love to think of those who have good relationships showing that tomorrow and every day. So important and so lovely where possible. I will be sending my ma some thoughts of love tomorrow.

EmeraldShamrock · 29/03/2019 19:03

All the DC came charging out of school with cards, pottery etc, One of the little girls mam had a massive stroke and died two years ago.
Although I didn't see her today, the gift making was going on all week.

Ilikeviognier · 29/03/2019 18:57

I hate it. My mum died 10 years ago and I still find it excruciating despite the fact I’m now a mother myself.

Alsohuman · 29/03/2019 18:50

Thank you @Northern, that’s kind of you.

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NorthernLurker · 29/03/2019 18:47

Sorry to read you lost your lovely mum btw.

OP posts:

NorthernLurker · 29/03/2019 18:46

Ah alsohuman if you check out the post below about adults not needing parenting you'll see we are wrong and parenting expires on the 18th Birthday!

OP posts:

Alsohuman · 29/03/2019 18:02

Oh God the tedious “She’s had her turn”. Not a mother any more then? Nobody told me motherhood had an expiry date.

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