He should have got her a cab first (before his own)

[Jalila07]

Hi, in a desperate attempt to find relief from Brexit, we’re here having lunch and discussing my friend’s date last weekend.

Ladies of MN, please may we put it to you for the casting vote as we’re in some disagreement. To cut a longish story short, the date had gone well until they were on Charing Cross Rd and his Uber came first so he got in it and just left my friend standing on the street!

Now he’s texting her to meet again. She’s inclined to not bother, I feel as if I agree with her, but two others here think she should give him another chance (citing excuses such as traffic, it’s hard for cabs to stop, etc).

WIBU? Shouldn’t he have called her a cab and seen her off before just sailing off into the night? By the way, we are all early 40s so she can’t be bothered messing about.

Thankyou in advance.

So if you don’t want a man to treat you badly you treat them badly by expecting them to be your personal slave and pay for everything from the off? confused

OP believes it's a man's job to court women. During the dating phase, she believes that the woman's job is to look pretty. Don't worry though, the man will be adequately compensated upon marriage because he'll have himself a subservient wife. Win-win.

I came here to post something that would have the likes of you all riled up. It was easy.

Yes, hysterical women. It's so hard for us to contain ourselves. Oh bother.

Well quite frankly, if a man can’t even be bothered to make the effort in the dating phase, what do you actually expect your life will be like ten years down the line? It’s no good looking back in retrospect and realising all the signs were there, but you chose to ignore them. This is not liberated, it’s just a bit daft.

Well quite frankly, if a man can’t even be bothered to make the effort in the dating phase, what do you actually expect your life will be like ten years down the line?

And what does the woman do 4o make effort in the dating phase, to prove what she will be like years down the line?

Eh?

I expect ten years down the line they'd share an Uber to their shared home. First date Uber etiquette isn't exactly a reliable indicator of, well, anything.

And what does the woman do 4o make effort in the dating phase, to prove what she will be like years down the line?

OP won't answer this because her real answer is "women just have to look pretty for the man".

What's his life going to be like in 10 years if for her going a small distance away for a fun second date is traipsing and effort and she can't jump on the tube after the date is over!

I met DP last night at an event. We both made our own way there by public transport from our different work places.

Is this a red flag? Should I dump him? Anything could have happened to me on the central line at 18.00!

And what does the woman do 4o make effort in the dating phase, to prove what she will be like years down the line?

Cleans his kitchen while baking cakes wearing her frilly pinny of course.

OP won't answer this because her real answer is "women just have to look pretty for the man".

Yep and that's the problem.

The OP and her friend think that women are there to be ornamental

This is why so many women are opposed to this whole, dont let a woman get a cab on her own nonsense.

It's not traditional, it's not evolution, its more chivalry etc. Its pure sexism. Bit the opbdoesnt want to admit it

well, OP, my life 18 years down the line is looking pretty good, thanks for asking.

*I met DP last night at an event. We both made our own way there by public transport from our different work places.

Is this a red flag? Should I dump him? Anything could have happened to me on the central line at 18.00!*

Ltb, if he doesn't respect you enough to send a carriage to stop your feet touching the London pavement, he doesn't love you and the next 10 years will be hell.

@Chiaroscura it was going by your statement - so does that mean yours was a silly statement?

Giving an example of one woman being attacked at 6pm on a busy street is ridiculous. It happens to men too, it can happen anywhere and at any time. It doesn't mean that women need to be escorted everywhere.

Well what do you want me to say exactly? You will jump in me whatever I say. No I don’t think I’m “ornamental” fgs. But nor do I think I have to copy men or compete in some way to be “equal.” I am equal to men regardless, just different. It’s too simplistic to think that because a man pays for dinner he’s being superior or whatever. It’s not like that.

I want you to answer what you think women should do to go out of their way to impress an man on a date?

You have clear expectations of men. So must have some idea of what you would think a woman should do.

I want to know what message you think it gives for your friend to take the tube to Hampstead.

“I want you to answer what you think women should do to go out of their way to impress an man on a date?”

Well act myself? They can make they’re own judgement as to whether they like me or not. I’m not going to try and be something else, I’d it doesn’t come naturally. I wouldn’t want a man to pretend to me either. Either he’s my type or he’s not.

Can’t you see the danger in giving a stranger your address to send a cab to?

I want to know what message you think it gives for your friend to take the tube to Hampstead.

Ancient proverb says if you take the tube to hampstead, your romance will soon be stone dead.

Potentially yes (that’s about the cab).

Well act myself? They can make they’re own judgement as to whether they like me or not. I’m not going to try and be something else, I’d it doesn’t come naturally. I wouldn’t want a man to pretend to me either. Either he’s my type or he’s not.

So nothing. So men need to do lots of extra stuff to impress women. But women dont have to do anything at all?

That's the issue. Its outdated and sexist. The pressure on men and a list if 'must dos', while women just turn up and expect to have everything paid for.

You dont see why that's ridiculous?

You must realise that for 99% of the population, a man making an effort is a shave, a bit of aftershave, opening the door and not picking their nose in front of you.

It’s not sending a limo.

No men don’t need to do “extra stuff.” As far as I’m concerned, it should come naturally to them, as men. If it doesn’t fine, but they’re probably not my type. DH has never complained or felt as if he’s under any great hardship. He knows who he is and where he’s coming from, as do I. If he wanted a woman who would get worked up about being exactly the same as him in all areas of life, then he was at liberty to go and find one.

No men don’t need to do “extra stuff.” As far as I’m concerned, it should come naturally to them, as men.
What should come naturally to them? Eh?