Most embarrassing moment at work

[HeidiBoo1984]

I love embarrassing moment threads and I'm always embarrassing myself beyond belief at work.

I have endometriosis and it often sends my bowels wild. Our office toilets are basically just within the office, rooms rather than cubicles, and our office, which is more or less open plan with about 8 of us, it's a quiet environment so you can hear everything. Anyway, I've many a time been to the toilet for just a wee and then unexpectedly farted really loudly. I die inside and consider just getting my coat and going home! No one ever says anything, but they must hear!

Does anyone else have any embarrassing stories at work?

Site not sight!

On my first day in my new job I decided to wear a new work type dress. The zip was a quite tight around my boob area but as I had managed to do it up I thought it would be ok! Well my job involves a lot of bending so by lunchtime the zip had bust wide open! Luckily I had a top underneath or my whole back & bra would have been exposed! My colleague spotted it and rushed off to find me 3 heavy duty safety pins! I had to walk around for the rest of the day like that and felt like a right numpty! Needless to say I’ve worn trousers since lol!

Once a fairly senior man at my company said “happy birthday” to me, but for some reason I thought he had said “nice armpits”, so I looked at him like this .

I also once threw coffee (unintentionally- I tripped) all over the Vice President.

A friend once told me a funny one too:

She went into a toilet cubicle and saw a huge (sorry) floater, so she turned in her heel and used the other loo. As she was washing her hands, her very senior colleague came in and did the same thing, so the woman said “ah yeah, I did that” 😂 😂 😂.

I have a habit at work of starting a conversation with a boss that is intended to be either 'I don't want to bug you but...' or 'I don't want to bother you but...' however somehow my brain always tries to say both at once and comes out with 'I don't want to bugger you, but...'

Blacksatindancer. I love that story!! That’s just the sort of thing that would happen to me and I just die!

Oh I am crying laughing at the floater story!

I used to work in a company where they were very proud to have won the first contract for work outside of London. To be fair, it was a massive achievement for a small charity. But whenever anyone came up from London it was like the Queen was coming and our manager would be beside herself with anxiety about making sure everything was just right.
So one day I was sat having my lunch with a colleague, office v small so we were sat at a coffee table in the corner. My colleague shouted something about a fit man outside so I jumped up to look out of the window with her. Only I caught my mug of tomato soup with my foot, leaned forward to steady it but ended up grabbing the mug and throwing the tomato soup in my face. It was dripping from my hair, all over my face and my top. My colleague and I just stared at each other then began hysterically laughing. As we were crying with laughing in bustled our manager, with a Director from London...the look of sheer horror on our manager’s face only made us laugh harder. It was awful but we couldn’t stop.

I sometimes mix my words up if I'm busy or stressed. I'd been helping a customer for an hour and they went over to my manager to compliment me. As the customer was leaving the manager came over to tell me. The customer noticed and said 'thank you'. I barked with a deranged smile "NO WELCOME!" Everyone heard and looked at me like I'd lost it. Of course I mixed up Your welcome and No Problem.

Many years ago, I worked in a furniture shop for a year or so. It was a rather up itself, contemporary place which thought it was Heals but was just a cut above Habitat.

One day, I was trying to flog some crap serve some customers, and stepped back to let them get a better look at some sofas. I'd failed to notice that the display had been rearranged on my day off, and backed straight into a glass coffee table, which caught me on the back of the knees.

Which took my legs out from underneath me and sent me crashing to the floor... but I hit the glass top before I got there. Which shattered.

I ended up with my arse on the carpet, my skirt up round my waist, trapped in the frame of the table with my legs dangling over the edge and surrounded by glass which had broken into thousands of tiny squares, like car windscreens used to.

As the shoppers looked on in horror I got an uncontrollable fit of the giggles which lasted for what seemed like a lifetime. The poor customers thought I was hurt and were trying to help me up but my legs had gone to jelly and I just sat on the floor, giggling away like a mad thing.

I can't actually remember what happened next or how I eventually managed to extract myself from the table, but I can remember how everyone ripped the piss out of me, mercilessly, for the rest of the time I was in the job.

I'm howling 😂😂

“ah yeah, I did that”

😂

I properly choked on a malteasers celebration in a full staff room ... I was making a honking noise.. my nickname was donkey for years afterwards 🙈

I also once threw coffee (unintentionally- I tripped) all over the Vice President.

That one's okay ... I hope ... by which I literally mean: I pray to whatever deities I don't technically believe in as a confirmed atheist.

List of people I've spilled beverages over during the course of my so-called career includes:

• Senior VP (we're okay with that one - small fry)
• MDs 1, 2 and 3
• Senior MDs 1 & 2
• Literally the fucking CFO

They've still somehow promoted me to senior VP after all that. I'm operating under the assumption that it's all down to my sex appeal, which I'm totally oblivious of personally. It's either that or sexsomnia. Can't be my superior beverage handling skills, surely. And: I'm considering breast implants just in case I coffee the CEO at some point. Given my stellar track record, this is pretty much a given.

Years ago I worked in a nursery and all of us (we were all pretty young) had a bit of a crush on one of the dads. One day he came to pick up his daughter and after he went I and one of my colleagues were cleaning the bathroom:nappy change area and talking about how hot he was. All of a sudden we realised his wife was just outside the bathroom door as he had forgotten to pick up their little ones coat on his way out. She just have heard us talking about him

Many moons ago I'd gone to work in this lovely long summery lightweight cottony/chiffony dress with a lovely wafty open blouse over it. I felt really good in it. Went about my mornings work carefree, feeling great. Lunchtime comes and I decided was going to pop over to the shopping precinct grab something nice and sit out in the green to eat. I literally got about 20 yards along the road when this lovely little lady taps me on the shoulder and whispers "you're showing all your bum petal" I had that awful dread thinking I'd tucked said dress in my knickers. Nope. The whole fucking seam had split right up to the neckline, was like a hospital gown. Was a big lass back then but had thong knickers on too. So not only embarrassed at work (and obviously no fucker had the balls to tell me) (or just thought it hilarious or quite liked looking at it 😝) I'd embarrassed myself to probably a quarter of the population of the town who were behind me as I merrily waltzed over to get some lunch.

shamelessly placemarking.

I used to waitress when I was in college. On my first night on the job I managed to throw parsley garnish covered in barbecue sauce onto a lady's white t shirt (she wasn't impressed), and on my last evening (and last table I had to clear of the night) I had just loaded up my tray with all the plates and glasses when one of the men on the table said something to me, as I looked up to respond I managed to drop the whole tray on the floor. I was mortified, as was the poor man who blamed himself for distracting me. That was the perfect end to my disastrous career as a waitress!

I also worked in a department store. The 'big boss' was coming from head office and my boss had warned us all to be on our best behaviour. As we walked through the shop floor that afternoon we spotted the big boss. As we passed him my boss said "Afternoon, John", my colleague did the same, but I cheerily said "Morning!", my boss and colleague turned to look at me in a WTF kind of way, leading to me bumping into them, tripping over and trying to style it out in front of big boss. Needless to say, I wasn't allowed out the next time he came to visit!

And on the theme of me being very clumsy, I now work in a college. Last week I had to take a student to first aid as she had hurt her hand. As I was walking down the stairs I was still speaking to another student about where I was going, missed the step and fell down the stairs. They all thought it was hilarious, but I'm just glad no one had their phone out to film it!

I got a photo sent from our IT manager. A very explicit photo!! Unfortunately I shared the same first name as his wife and she was back home in SA for a few weeks and he was obviously sending a little "something" to remind her what she was missing at home. Except it wasnt so little! I swear to god it almost came to his knees 😂🍆.
I couldn't keep a straight face the next day and he was mortified. I never had to wait long for him to fix any IT issues after that 😂

I went to an Xmas doo in my younger days and was staying in my office managers room (we had to share) anyway embarrassingly I go so drunk I feel asleep on the chair next to the radiator....que throwing up in the night on the window ledge! I was too drunk to clear it up there and then (my boss didn’t come back to the room) the heating come on in the middle of the night...woke up a few hours to cooked puke with my boss standing over me looking less then impressed

I'm a mature student but I also work at my uni in my course department. I had several interactions with my tutor and also spoke to her for over an hour about an issue that she was helping me with, she knew who I was and she personally invited me to a symposium at the uni via email. There were maybe 2 or 3 other students in my cohort invited, so was not a case of the entire year being invited as it wasn't an open event. Afterwards, I went over and said hello and thanked her for the invite. Infront of local professionals, two of my lectures and other students, she stared blankly at me for what felt like hours, as if she had no idea who I was or why I was thanking her. She said nothing and turned and walked off. I was absolutely mortified. I was really humiliated, to be honest!

Ffs the honking donkey got me

I was setting up a training course and I asked a manager via email to let me know about his team's shits. I meant to say shifts. Awks

I used to waitress at a big chain restaurant famous for its steaks. The basement level was referred to as ‘the dungeon’ for being so fucking dark the customers couldn’t read the menus. I had a party of 20 people that had a set menu where we had to silver serve slices of steak onto customers plates from a big wooden board. While leaning over customers to put the steaks on the plates I managed to drip blood on not one but FOUR different people 😳 They went absolutely ballistic and screamed at me, the managers and just about everyone else in the restaurant. They ended up getting the service charge removed (fair enough) 50% of the total bill and £20 each in cash to pay for the dry cleaning. After they left my (male) manager mentioned that maybe we should have offered to pay for new clothes as “blood never comes out”. To which I helpfully replied “of course it does, it comes out of my knickers”.

I cried all the way home

Stood in the office giving a quick project update to our Senior Director and a colleague walked past me and playfully poked me in the ribs, which caused me to violently break wind. I tried to ignore it but the glint in her eye and the howling of my colleague down the corrider made me want to burst into flames

I used to work for a big bank in a huge office block in Birmingham. One of my buddies there worked on the same (huge) floor but a different department.

At that time Phoenix Nights was big and we’d both email each other quotes from it and laugh about the night before’s episode.

Said friend had a very common name, think John Smith so there would be a fair few to scroll few to find him.

One morning I gleefully scrolled through the John Smiths’ and fired off a simple quote of “pissflaps” which was on the programme the night before.

Shortly after I recieved an email back saying
“Wickerwoman, interesting email........”

I thought huh he can’t have watched it then realised I’d sent it to ‘John Smith - Head of Marketing’ Some big boss down in London who fortunately I’ve never met! God I shit myself for days, luckily nothing came of it