It’s MY decision as a parent NOT the schools

[IfeelSoIll]

I’m really quite angry
My dd (secondary school) has been unwell quite a bit lately, some very nasty viral illnesses. Been to gp and nothing underlying just bad luck it seems.

Anyway, yet again she returned yesterday feeling grim so had an early night but barely slept this morning throat was horrendously red and sore. Very congested and extremely nasty runny nose.
Generally tired and achy but no temperature.

School have called and told us bring her in. That THEY will keep her there and administer paracetamol and they will decide if she needs to go home. That in future if she’s ill to get her up and send her in and they will then decide.

AIBU to think that it’s cruel to send a visibly very unwell child to school just to prove who makes the decision about whether they are well enough to be in or not ?

Schools think they know best I cant go into detail as outing but DC had an horrendous amount of time off school due to an ongoing issue - was diagnosed by the GP and the head actually said to my face she found it incredulous and in HER OPINION DC couldn’t possibly be diagnosed as X (GP hit the roof) my point is YOU know your child THEY don’t! if she’s unwell she’s unwell they are NOT medically trained it’s all about numbers to them and they don’t care at times what a child goes through ! Also why have a child in school if unwell surely it raises the chance of others being susceptible to illness yes I appreciate you have to power through at times but if you can’t you can’t

Completely unreasonable of the school. My DD has been suffering the same, last week had 3 days off, go thinks she is anemic etc. On Friday she was feeling very faint and couldn't go to school because if she had fainted (wouldn't have been the first time) the school still wouldn't have sent her home. Another she vomited, I was at work when she messaged me so I rang the scho to say she could come home, and instead the school rd her I had insisted she stay at school. They consider attendance too much in some cases and it puts kids health at risk

ToftyAC.
they weren’t allowed to wear coats in the school grounds as they were deemed untidy

Fur King Hell! What kind of pernicious institutions are we sending our kids to?

Easy solution.

Op: I am sorry but DD will not be in today as she is ill.
School: can you tell us what is wrong so we can decide if she is too ill to come to school.
Op: she has D&V but I can bring her in if you wish 😁

whyamievenamazeddotcom. Another megalomaniac Head!

Bring back the power of the Local Education Authority. Then report these inhumane brass turds to them.

IfeelSoIll please do not be bullied by this selfish uncaring cruel school! Take the letters to your GP! (Poor overworked GPs). But do not get bullied!
I wonder if the local radio would be interested in this story? Or just a letter to the local paper?

Just when did schools decide it was about bums (sick bums) on seats before the welfare and well-being of the children?

How do they know when your child is able to "push through" or when the child is too ill for school?

This is going to drive me crazy! I was so fed up years ago by the way children had become numbers and nobody was an individual and woe and betide if you as a Teacher tried to help a child who was upset... they had to learn to cope! This is just awful! If we don't care for our children then we are a lousy country.

Yes unreasonable.
BUT some parents do keep kids off school for very minor things.

But have you provided the school with a letter from the doctor? If not, how would the school know that you are not just taking the piss.
If a pupil falls below the attendance level then they do not get the funding for that pupil and they need every penny they can get at the moment. It only affects all of the other pupils in the long run.

Why would she provide the school with a GP letter, and who should pay for this?

What they are saying is that they don’t trust your judgment as parent to decide if your child is sick or not. They are saying they can do a better job than you. I would take her to the doctors again x

Are you allowed to ask them about their own staff sickness rates?

JugglingMummyof2. You speak as if it's ok to be ill at 12 but not at 16. OK there are exams at 16. But nobody can choose when they are going to be ill! My daughter was 16 and had about a month off with what they eventually called Glandular fever. I could smell her infected throat from across the room when I opened her bedroom door. I just had to ignore the school. My poor daughter was feeling so ill and worried about exams that she was my priority. I think that's when I realised that schools did not really care about pupils any more, just about their own stats.

she was up most of the night as couldn’t sleep for to the pain. That is far more than "just a cold"! A throat that painful needs medical help! Poor child!

Merryoldgoat. Me too! Surely the parents complain? The poor children! How can they possibly expect them to learn with someone chucking up and that smell in the room? Good Grief! What kind of places are British Schools?

OP - this isn't a secondary school in the Cheltenham area is it? My DD's school has exactly this attitude, sent a letter out a few months ago about sending children in when ill and the school will then make the decision as to whether they are too ill to stay at school. We've also had a letter saying that period pain is not an excuse for being off school, and that girls shouldn't be allowed to sit out PE if they have heavy periods, they should simply double up on sanitary protection.

One of the staff on student reception once made the mistake of sending my daughter back to class when she asked to come home because she had a migraine starting - she actually told her that she didn't look as though she had a migraine, and that it was just a headache and to go back to class. This would be my daughter who was diagnosed with severe migraines at the age of 8, was under specialist care by this point (aged 14), taking preventative meds, and school had all of this on record. My daughter ended up having 7 days off school as a result of this, because by the time she got home her migraine had gone full-blown. If they had allowed her to come home, rest and take extra meds (as agreed in her school file), she would have perhaps only needed 2 days off to get back on her feet. My husband was straight down the school and gave them hell over it, and now when either of our girls go to student reception feeling ill, they ring us straight away to pick them up.

I understand that schools want to keep their absence levels low, but being heavy-handed and trying to impose their authority on parents in this way is not the right way to go about things.

onegiftedgal
If a pupil falls below the attendance level then they do not get the funding for that pupil

Now we have it.

This is something we need to march about. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? Or Draconian? So what happens when children are actually ill? The parents are terrorised into dragging the children into school? to the detriment of their health? and ignoring the suffering they are causing?

This is appalling!

What kind of person invented this "clever" idea? I think I can guess.

I agree that it’s YOUR right to make that call and not theirs but their concern will be mainly for your child’s education. Lessons and learning is planned incrementally, if your child misses a lesson it is much harder to understand the next, so yes, she should come in with a cold, her classmates will already have been exposed to it and some learning is better than none. If you don’t trust the school, can she text you if still feeling grotty by break time?

Next time she has a bad case of D & V make sure you send her to school. YANBU.

You speak as if it's ok to be ill at 12 but not at 16.

You're right that at 16 you might just get unlucky and if you're too ill to go to school you're too ill, exam year or not. That said there is a middle ground where I'd encourage a 12 year old to stay home and a 16 year old to go in.

My child had a serious injury in school resulting in 3 months off sick.
They didn't dare write to me about attendance.
They did refuse any help to catch up with work missed.
Fortunately child was able to put the work in and caught up.
School did, however, lie about the circumstances of the injury, but they knew it was their fault.
I kept them informed regularly, always referring to "the injury sustained in X lesson" in all my letters.
They cannot insist on a GP letter - the GP will not provide one.

I had to go to an attendance meeting with attendance officer employed by the academy after my dd had reoccurring strep throat infection. It was the most patronising thing.Her attendance had been spot on all previous years. Then had to provide a stamped go letter any time she was off.Im sure my 2 minute appointment was taken up by explaining to gp .For evidence?! I thought we were innocent till proven guilty?! I told school there you go, I won't be doing that again- the most reasonable school loading officer said, oh but it's good for when you want her tonsils out! By that point I wanted to scream, why would I bloody want her tonsils out? So you can have them as evidence,? Seriously there will be CCTV our houses soon.

Not sure if this is true but a friend told me a second attendance meeting and you're put under caution . Never commited a crime ( asides underage drinking in my life

As an experienced teacher I find that highly unlikely.

Have you been brainwashed in the staff room mumsmerian? I'm telling the whole truth.....

I would also add it can be dependent on what year she is in and what type of courses/subjects she is doing. And...like any job, if you worked in a school you may see that life is not so clean cut and ... perhaps ...(prepares for the bashing) ......some parents are enabling and this might be why there are some overly strict rules in place that are really hardcore for the genuine cases.

YANBU the school is questioning your judgement and thereby undermining your role as a parent. And as for criticisms such as 'But 89% attendance is incredibly low' so what? How can a child help being ill?

Blame the government and ofsted....my school were denied outstanding despite all of the inspectors agreeing that’s what we should get, due to 3 particular (large) families with terrible attendance.
A kick in the teeth for all our hard work. Not our fault at all!

First of all, an adult that's not the guardian or parent giving a child DRUGS is illegal.

Second, since did a fecking teacher/receptionist have medical qualifications?

It is the parents duty to care for a sick child, not some stupid headteacher who thinks she hasn't enough power, that she wants to.parent your child

Oi, teacher, leave then kids alone, all n all, your just another prick in the wall