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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Homophobia within the Muslim community

430 replies

thankssomuchforthat · 27/03/2019 09:07

Please can we keep this thread calm and good natured as this is a genuine question.
I was genuinely shocked at a spokesperson for the Muslim community on GMB condemning gay people as sinful. Saying being gay is fundamentally wrong. Saying most Muslim people vehemently believe this. Is this true? Or are gay Muslims tolerated within the community? What would happen if a Muslim teenager was gay. Would the family disown them?
Genuine question. I suppose I mix in circles that are tolerant of homosexuality.
Please keep comments nice and friendly.

OP posts:
Missymoo100 · 27/03/2019 17:25

There will be a significant number who hold this view and burying heads in the sand with “but not all” doesn’t address anything.

I agree with the parents in this case, I think people should have a right to bring their children up in a way which is respectful of their cultural and religious differences.

Newbuild · 27/03/2019 17:27

I used to work for a homeless organisation. I remember a young Muslim guy coming to me with a bin bag of stuff and asking me to help him move far away and into a ‘whiter’ area. The community found out he was gay and he was devastated.
I equally had A Muslim friend who came out with us and our gay friends, although she also came to the pub so I guess it depends how ‘devoted’ to your religion you are. She wouldn’t go out in our home town where anyone could see her.
Shouldn’t be acceptable to speak like that though, not in this day and age.

Missymoo100 · 27/03/2019 17:30

New build-

I think this reflects the honour-shame culture, how perception of homosexuality is deemed shameful at a community level. There can be serious repercussions for a Muslim to come out as gay.

StoneofDestiny · 27/03/2019 17:32

They can believe what they want - but the issue is they are trying to change what is taught in schools and withdrawing kids because of it, with no consequences to the parents.
The government is being too weak on this.
If heaps of non Muslim parents withdrew their kids from school because they did not teach the earth was flat in Geography I doubt the situation would have been tolerated at all.
We have got to stop apologising for being a country with an education system that teaches tolerance and dispels ignorance.

Limer · 27/03/2019 17:32

People saying it's the only the older generation who hold these outdated and offensive views - these are parents of primary-school children, they aren't old!

There is no place in UK society for these outdated and offensive views. No exception for members of any religions.

TeacupDrama · 27/03/2019 17:33

tolerance of others views implies you don't agree with the view if you agreed you would not need to tolerate it,
Tolerance it seems sometimes is in very short supply

In this case tolerance for the muslim means tolerating that not everyone lives the way you think they should and they are entitled to live peaceful lives whilst being openly gay and no child should be ostracised or criticized because you don't agree with their choice of family ( they tolerate two same sex parents they don't agree with it)

Tolerance on the part of LBGT parents means accepting that some people's religious beliefs means that they believe that only marriage between a man and a woman is acceptable and that a family should consist of a mother and a father and children and that they are entitled like you to bring up their children in their beliefs (you tolerate their religious beliefs you don't agree with their view on marriage)

The law on human rights, education and parental choices

Article 26 (3) of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights - "Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children."

The European Declaration of Human Rights :“In the exercise of any functions which it assumes in relation to education and to teaching, the State shall respect the right of parents to ensure such education and teaching is in conformity with their own religious and philosophical convictions.” First Protocol, Article 2

StoneofDestiny · 27/03/2019 17:36

I agree with the parents in this case, I think people should have a right to bring their children up in a way which is respectful of their cultural and religious differences

Parents have this right - they should not have the right to dictate what is taught in school. They can, and do, teach this fundamentalist belief in mosque school.

BunsOfAnarchy · 27/03/2019 17:38

Why is this fixated on Muslims?
Catholics anyone? Half of America? All of Africa?
Many many BIG groups and communities condemn it.
Stop focusing on one like this.

Patroclus · 27/03/2019 17:38

I think the right hoped liberals would find this a conudrum, especially as their islamophobia was finally being called out- but they had believed their own bile about 'left wing jihadis'. It hasnt worked.

N0rdicStar · 27/03/2019 17:38

Um no tolerance on the part of LGBT parents most certainly does not mean we have to tolerate homophobia.Why should I tolerate anything my son may read that will make him feel crap about himself and which will threaten his mental health?

Hmm
Missymoo100 · 27/03/2019 17:39

“The government is being too weak on this.“

No the state shouldn’t tell the parents how to raise their children. Parents should bring their children up in accordance with their own values.
It is not tolerant to think you are right and interefere.

N0rdicStar · 27/03/2019 17:40

And yes that speaks for any religion with these views. Other religions aren’t however shutting down a much needed education program which has been proven to be entirely appropriate.

Missymoo100 · 27/03/2019 17:41

Why is this fixated on Muslims?
Catholics anyone? Half of America? All of Africa?

Well if we live in a multicultural society then you need to accommodate these viewpoints because it is deeply unrealistic to think you can get everyone to adopt the same liberal viewpoints for any reason, other than we say so.

N0rdicStar · 27/03/2019 17:42

Yes the state should be saying homophobia is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated in the same way it won’t tolerate racism, disablism etc. Parents have no right to inflict such appalling views on their children and thus society as a whole.

N0rdicStar · 27/03/2019 17:43

It has been pointed out countless times why the focus is currently on Muslims.Hmm

Missymoo100 · 27/03/2019 17:45

So long as they aren’t breaking the law then they have the right to hold those views. People shouldnt have to be dictated to about what views they can hold. It’s an intolerance in itself.

KOKOtiltomorrow · 27/03/2019 17:46

Bloody hell OP. Have you seen the papers? They get thrown off the highest building on the town if caught in the middle East.

M4J4 · 27/03/2019 17:46

So in mosques that believe that homosexuality is a choice or that gay people have the power to change their sexuality. Or do they believe that gay people should be gay, but not practice gay sex? Genuine question.

Mosques don't 'believe' anything. I think you need to learn more about Islam as a whole rather than fixate on homosexuality.

M4J4 · 27/03/2019 17:47

@MrPan

Though a Muslim person would be justified in wondering why exactly someone would go to the bother of using a more archaic form of address when there is a more-practiced form of address.

Exactly. Why insist on using 'Moslem'?

Missymoo100 · 27/03/2019 17:49

I think for too long the view has been held that you can have a multicultural society and that everyone is just going to give up their culture and religious beliefs. They won’t. Liberals need to stop thinking everyone should just fall into line with their views.

Mummyshark2019 · 27/03/2019 17:50

Quite cheesed off with this post tbh. You're saying you're interested in Muslim faith in particular and how they feel about homosexuality but this feels a bit like Muslim bashing to me. You need to stop. As many people have said, Christianity, Judaism and Islam all hold the same views. When you look at these three religious, they are very similar. So yabu. Stop painting Muslims in a poor light.

StoneofDestiny · 27/03/2019 17:50

Why is this fixated on Muslims?
It’s not - it is ‘fixated* on a current situation in Brum led by some Muslim parents

MulderitsmeX · 27/03/2019 17:51

Im a christian and it makes me really angry to see "christian" biggots saying homophobic views. Imo they aren't proper christians anyway if they think lilke that and give everyone else a bad name.

I would expect any sane and intelligent muslim/hindu/catholic would feel the same.

TheFrontHoleIsConnectedToThe · 27/03/2019 17:51

Catholics don't let women be priests either. Most religion has homophobia and sexism at its very core. That doesn't mean all religious people are sexist or homophobic but certainly that they're choosing to ignore those bits.

TooTrueToBeGood · 27/03/2019 17:52

Parents should bring their children up in accordance with their own values.

What if their values include fgm, forced marriage, honor killings, incest, spare the rod spoil the child etc etc etc? The notion that parents should have an absolute right to do with their children however they please is preposterous. Religiously justified homophobia (or any other form of bigotry) has no place in our society and if parents have abhorrent views that they wish to indoctrinate their children with then the state bloody well should step in. Children are also citizens.