To the posters being fucking blunt to the point of rudeness... DFOD. We live here and are moving for family reasons, if we could take this house to a different location with us we absolutely would.
To everyone else, thank you, we're going to look into having the rendering painted, we didn't put it on but it's in great condition and could be tarted up. Plants, prints and rug ordered and due to arrive over the weekend.
Decor wise I'm a bit sad to hear you all think it's so hard, as we've spent £15,000 on having the place reworked, replastered, new flooring and decor throughout. I've updated the listing details now but agents have been adamant we keep it as a 3-bed. We're having the week end to do as much work as possible - front room is already home to a new (second hand) table and chairs.
It's a working progress but appreciate all the tips, especially those who RTFT & understand we're not doing anything structural 