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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely fuming at my GPs?

234 replies

metsa · 26/03/2019 17:16

My baby will turn 6 weeks old on 3rd April. The GP surgery called me when I was first home to give me details on how to register her and told me that someone will be in touch to arrange her 6 week check. So I waited until today, with no contact from them, and finally decided I can't wait any longer so I decided to arrange this appointment myself.

Well apparently the soonest appointment they have is 16th April! I am fuming. I had a cesarean and I cannot drive. I live in a village. My partner works long hours 50 miles from where we live and is a contractor so doesn't get paid for days he doesn't go into work. I am totally stranded. I have missed one blood test for me and one for the baby already simply because there is no way for me to get to them. I will have missed the due date on another 2 blood tests by the time of this appointment.

And to make it worse my in laws are coming for the week of 8th April. I will no have no choice but to sit at home with them all week since I can't drive them anywhere. We can walk around the village but nowhere else.

I am fuming because this is not a surprise need for an appointment or a whim I have. This is essential and has been known about for weeks. If I hadn't contacted the GP today I have no idea when or if they would have contacted me. I feel utterly isolated and let down. AIBU?

OP posts:
KathyS901 · 27/03/2019 04:56

What??? How is it their fault that you can't drive? I'd not have even thought to ask my insurer if I could drive weeks and weeks after recovering. Can't you just take a taxi?

KathyS901 · 27/03/2019 04:57

I didn't even go to my 6 week check Confused

Bagpuss5 · 27/03/2019 06:38

Yes, a nasty thread.

Sendadvice · 27/03/2019 06:45

Phone the GP. Tell them the situation. I'm sure they will schedule a quick telephone call to give you the 'ok' to drive. Then you can tell your insurance company the gp said it's fine.

This is effectively what I did

Grumpbum123 · 27/03/2019 06:52

I really understand the overwhelming worry on how to achieve these things. My H had to leave me at our GP surgery to go to a meeting on the last day of his paternity leave. I had just been diagnosed with a uterine and scar infection I had only one feed with me and I didn’t have a clue how to strap in the car seat, I had to sit and wait for a taxi with a driver who would carry the car seat out as I could lift it. I remember being so overwhelmed I was in tears and I genuinely wanted to stab my Husband but I managed so not matterhow overwhelming this seems you can do it, get a taxi.

I do still stand by my last comment of the surgery are not your personal secretary and the responsibility lies with you as an adult to organise your life.

Raspberry88 · 27/03/2019 07:24

CaptainSquirrel

I completely agree. It's disgusting how little support women are given after giving birth. A c section is major surgery and I never even had a check up. 6 week check was just for DS. No one looked at my scar and I had no idea what was normal. Weeks and weeks after one side of it was still so irritated and I could see something under the surface that looked like a stitch. No one told me what kind of stitches I had. Went to the GP and they couldn't find out either and GP was reluctant to cut in to find out what it was even though it was no deeper than a splinter. In the end I had MIL (retired practice nurse) look at it and she said that the best thing to do was just to get it out so I pulled the bloody stitch out myself.
Of course the GP isn't a 'personal secretary' but clearly pre-booked appointments are the norm in some areas so it's not too unreasonable an idea. As the OP was told that someone would be in touch with her I can understand her frustration.

Cheeeeislifenow · 27/03/2019 07:41

Hope you are ok op and it's sorted a bit, congratulations on your new baby x

Sammiejo12 · 27/03/2019 07:43

Taxi???

crispysausagerolls · 27/03/2019 08:09

CaptainSquirrel

Your comment re the NHS is what’s shocking. Read the book “this is going to hurt” by Adam Kay. Do you even understand how massively stretched the NHS is?! Billions of pounds is NOTHING in the context of what they have to spend. The only reason most people see a doctor at all is because so many of them work well beyond their hours. They do not have time to run around chasing up appointments. Jesus fucking Christ.

HarrySnotter · 27/03/2019 08:20

Yes, a nasty thread.

Yep. Another one. It seems there are a wealth of mnetters who get some weird enjoyment out of trying to make someone feel shit about themselves/stupid etc.

OneDayillSleep · 27/03/2019 08:38

I’m not really sure what you think the 6 week check involves but for me the first time my gp didn’t even ask me anything, just checked my baby. Second time around we had it at 9/10 weeks old as we were on holiday and then the gp was on holiday. Again they didn’t do anything other than check my baby. Just get a telephone appointment if you think you can’t drive for insurance reasons, I don’t know anyone who held off driving for the full 6 weeks after a c-section, most I know felt fine after 2 or 3 weeks.

You should have checked if your baby was registered if you hadn’t had a letter by 3/4 weeks. I think I made the appointment for my first child’s 6 week check myself anyway. If you are worried about anything with a very small baby they fit you in within a couple of hours at our surgery, they’ll never turn you away with a small baby, most surgeries operate this policy too.

sparklytwinklyfairylights · 27/03/2019 08:49

Do you feel ok to drive op?

Your GP won't write to your insurer to say you are ok to drive after a c section so I'm wondering if you may have been given incorrect information from your insurers regarding the proof they require.

With regards to your location, husbands job etc, unfortunately none of these are your GP's concern. If they'd managed to give you an apt tomorrow how would your circumstances change enough for you to get there?

QuizzlyBear · 27/03/2019 09:26

Another one here that had babies in two different areas and each time the onus was on me to make the 6-week appointment, my GP didn't make it for me.

I'm not sure why you'd think they would?

Littlebelina · 27/03/2019 09:35

I've had babies under 2 different GPs and both times they made the appointment (at 8 weeks though) and as I said up thread my insurance wanted docs ok before I could drive.

Can people stop piling on the op because they can't appreciate that people might have different experiences to their own

FullOfJellyBeans · 27/03/2019 09:44

Some really nasty replies. OP has just had a baby and she sounds like she's anxious and overwhelmed. There is really no need for the nasty tone in so many of the replies. Why not just reassure her that a few weeks won't matter for the 6 week check and offer helpful suggestions.

endofthelinefinally · 27/03/2019 09:46

This is Mumsnet. As a long time user I am ashamed of the way some people are piling onto this poor woman who had a CS 6 weeks ago.
Lots of those people clearly haven't read the OP at all and are just jumping in to have a go.

I have dealt extensively with insurance companies, both travel and car.
They have access to medical records in the event of an accident, so if the worst happened, they would check.
It is entirely believable that they have advised the OP that she is not covered until her GP has told her she is fit to drive.
They may not require a letter from the GP. Just a declaration from her.
The surgery told her she would be sent an appointment.
She believed them.
That is understandable and she really doesn't deserve the kicking she is getting from some people on here.
The OP sounds exactly the kind of FT mum who would benefit from the usual kindness and support that Mumsnet offers.
She will probably never come back.
Sad

Dramatical · 27/03/2019 09:54

I don't get it, there is no problem by having a 6 week check a wee bit late. However, you say you and baby have missed blood tests already. If that's the case then it's down to you for not chasing up an appointment. Blood tests are not part of the 6 week check.

Samind · 27/03/2019 09:58

My little ones 6 week check was done at 8 weeks as we had other commitments. Dont panic OP. Just rest up and take advantage of getting some rest when family are over.

DarlingOscar · 27/03/2019 10:00

Metsa - this is such a difficult time for a new Mum. Honestly, none of the deadlines you feel you've missed cannot be moved. They aren't set in stone and you sound like you're on top of it.

There are lots of good suggestions on here how to get around the not driving thing - a call to your GP or midwife is the first port of call perhaps?

ILs visiting sounds like it may be too much at this stage for you? Can they come for a shorter visit at all?

Look after yourself -this parenting lark does get easier and more fun.

LGY1 · 27/03/2019 10:55

Are there any alternatives to the GP? Walk in clinic / push for a nurses appointment etc? Even if you need to get a taxi somewhere else might be worth it to get your freedom back.

I didn’t wait for the 6 weeks to pass & when I rang my insurer they just said “as long as you feel fine” and to be honest the guy on the other end couldn’t have been less interested!!

This 6 week rule is so annoying, I bet it hasn’t changed in 30 years and driving a car now is not like the manual cars of years ago.
Yes I understand about the emergency stop, but even if I wasn’t driving an emergency stop would still hurt!!

Margot33 · 28/03/2019 09:55

Could you contact the midwife today for a home visit and ask her If you're okay to drive? I agree..there us a lack of aftercare support for women.

Cannyhandleit · 28/03/2019 20:10

It's not true you can't drive unless a) you were explicitly told by your doctor that you cannot drive and b) your insurance company have a policy that does not cover you after c section!
I have had 2 sections and have been driving after 3 weeks, my insurance company told me as long as you can turn to check blind spots and emergency brake without pain then o was good to go!

Dramatical · 28/03/2019 20:11

OP said her insurance provider said she can't.

snowflakesnow · 28/03/2019 20:15

I'm confused as to why people are informing their insurance companies about having a child. Surely common sense on your on behalf is enough.

skye199 · 28/03/2019 20:16

Get your drivers license... get a car... don't live in a small boring village... stay on top of your appointments and don't wait until the day it's due to make a phone call... wtf. Figure your shit out already.