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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely fuming at my GPs?

234 replies

metsa · 26/03/2019 17:16

My baby will turn 6 weeks old on 3rd April. The GP surgery called me when I was first home to give me details on how to register her and told me that someone will be in touch to arrange her 6 week check. So I waited until today, with no contact from them, and finally decided I can't wait any longer so I decided to arrange this appointment myself.

Well apparently the soonest appointment they have is 16th April! I am fuming. I had a cesarean and I cannot drive. I live in a village. My partner works long hours 50 miles from where we live and is a contractor so doesn't get paid for days he doesn't go into work. I am totally stranded. I have missed one blood test for me and one for the baby already simply because there is no way for me to get to them. I will have missed the due date on another 2 blood tests by the time of this appointment.

And to make it worse my in laws are coming for the week of 8th April. I will no have no choice but to sit at home with them all week since I can't drive them anywhere. We can walk around the village but nowhere else.

I am fuming because this is not a surprise need for an appointment or a whim I have. This is essential and has been known about for weeks. If I hadn't contacted the GP today I have no idea when or if they would have contacted me. I feel utterly isolated and let down. AIBU?

OP posts:
anniehm · 26/03/2019 20:12

I'm sure your gp can sign you off for driving either over the phone or you going to see the nurse practitioner (taxi or bus)

Langrish · 26/03/2019 20:14

My children are pretty old now, but don’t health visitors still come out to new mums for the first couple of weeks? Couldn’t get rid of ours! (We didn’t have any problems, it was the norm for everyone then). She sorted out all of the appointments for us.
I’m honestly shocked if new parents are left entirely alone now.

le42 · 26/03/2019 20:17

What physical check do they do?

At my 6 week appointment, the section for me was about 3 minutes long. (Longer for my baby)

"Are you okay?"
"Yes"

"Do you have PND?"
"No"

Me: do you need to see my c section scar?
Doctor: do you want me to see it, is something wrong?"
Me: no

Me: can I exercise
Doctor: do you feel ready to exercise?
Me: I don't know how I should feel, I've never had a baby before....

That was it 🙄

ghostyslovesheets · 26/03/2019 20:46

also - me 3 weeks post section - to GP - can I drive? - can you break hard - yes - then drive!

GP could clear you over the phone

it's frustrating OP but not the GP's fault

Baconcob · 26/03/2019 20:52

I had an 8 week appointment which combined my post natal check, my baby’s check and his first vaccinations. They did everything at once (which makes sense to me). Not everyone has to make their post natal check a separate appointment.

MeowthThatsRight · 26/03/2019 21:04

Unless you’re driving a HGV there is absolutely no way your insurance will require you to be signed off. Even for HGV’s you’d only need a doctors note if you wanted to drive earlier than 6 weeks. You absolutely need to call your insurer again because that is not correct. As long as you feel safe to you can drive.

It is horrible when you’re left alone after having a baby. Everything feels awful and if anyone tells you that actually it’s not that awful makes you want to kill them. So sorry about that. But it will get better. Get driving again, get out of the house and everything will seem a bit better.

Popcorninapot · 26/03/2019 21:08

I had a phone conversation with my GP after all three of my c sections when I felt ready to drive. They made a comment in my notes that I was ready to drive. My insurance company was fine with that. Have you checked whether you can do that?

pineappletower · 26/03/2019 21:15

Same here, I phoned insurance they said 'if your GP says it's ok'. I called reception, they spoke to Dr and they said 'if you feel able then that's ok'. I didn't see anyone face to face. And that was after 3 weeks.

PutThatDown10 · 26/03/2019 21:22

Ours are done at 8 weeks as a standard at our GP surgery, booked the app when we registered her at 2 weeks as knew how difficult it can be to get an appointment.

dillymumma · 26/03/2019 21:24

My son recently had his 8 week check, done at 9 weeks. Wasn't a problem. Thought this was Peggy standard. No need to panic all will be fine :)

MyOtherProfile · 26/03/2019 21:24

OP just call the surgery and ask to speak to the GP 're the driving. Then you can get back to driving and life will feel better.

When I was pg with dc1 we were looking for a house to buy. We almost moved to a lovely village with no shop or bus. Thankfully at the last minute I panicked about being stuck in the village alone with a new baby and we went for a housein a better served village. Otherwise I could imagine ending up like the OP.

dillymumma · 26/03/2019 21:24

Xp @PutThatDown10

CaptainSquirrel · 26/03/2019 21:34

This is a nasty thread. OP is worried due to, by the sound of it, having had no guidance whatsoever re driving, post partum and c section recovery, baby check etc yet having had snippets of information about what should be happening and little help in navigating any of it, all with the overwhelming slog that is looking after a new baby and recovering from birth and major surgery to contend with. It is appalling how left alone new mothers are in the UK, and the last thing she needs is a load of hostile and smart arse comments ... on a parenting site ffs.

CaptainSquirrel · 26/03/2019 21:43

And actually I don't think it's unreasonable at all for a health system that we all pay billions into every year to book a fucking appointment for a new mother and a newborn. Christ, if she was in France she'd already have her women's physio appointment through as well as the six week check including a proper physical determination that she was ok to drive. Fuck asking someone over the phone.

BambooB · 26/03/2019 21:51

I was driving after 10 days. I even called Dvla and my insurance to check it was ok for me to drive.

Sciurus83 · 26/03/2019 21:51

Ask to speak to the GP by phone, they will tell you of you feel you can do an emergency stop you can drive. That will be enough for the insurance.

GPatz · 26/03/2019 21:53

OP, if you don't feel ready to drive after your C Section then don't. I'm sure everyone has different experiences to surgery and it's not a race to see who can recover the quickest. They don't hand out medals for that.

Bunnyfuller · 26/03/2019 22:13

Blimey, better chill the fuck out. Sooooo much ahead and already it’s the poor me! Get your ILs to take you to GP and take them out for lunch. A c-section healing normally is no big deal. What do you think you do if dc #2 is c-section too?!

HarrySnotter · 26/03/2019 23:04

A c-section healing normally is no big deal.

Sorry but I disagree with this. I found it a big deal with both of mine - everyone has different experiences and recovers at different rates. Major abdominal surgery is a pretty big deal IMO, even when healing normally.

CaptainSquirrel · 26/03/2019 23:12

Of course it's a big deal. I'm honestly shocked by this thread.

BosworthBosworth · 26/03/2019 23:12

I was in a similar position. My insurers needed a GP to say I could drive, but I phoned the surgery, requested a callback, told the GP over the phone I felt fine to drive and they told me to go ahead.
Hopefully you can do the same?
Congratulations on your new baby.

keepforgettingmyusername · 26/03/2019 23:12

You sound overwhelmed OP. It's hard being stuck in the house with a newborn and your hormones going crazy. Maybe call the health visitor and ask her to come and see you and she can tell you if you're fit to drive. Then try a short journey in the car and see how you go. Routine appointments are often a bit late but baby will be just fine. The HV can reassure you on that front too.

WellVersedInEtiquette · 26/03/2019 23:35

I hope you're ok OP. Those early days can be really tough.

MrsJ12 · 26/03/2019 23:40

OP I was in exactly your position so understand your frustration. I live in a village consisting of just 4 streets and no facilities so understand the feeling of going stir crazy with a newborn unable to drive.

I felt fine 3 weeks after my c section and fit enough to drive but My insurers also told me I needed to be cleared by the GP before I could.

I didn’t want to waste the GPs time so was waiting for the 6 week check. Having aired my frustration to the HV after about 4 weeks she suggested I had a quick telephone consultation with the GP which I did and was driving by the afternoon. I think insurers blow this out of proportion as the GP just asked if I felt safe to drive and that was it.

Try getting a quick call with the GP. I was just frustrated that I’d not thought of doing this sooner.

Milly345 · 26/03/2019 23:45

have you talked to your health visitor, your in laws will be able to give you a break surely x eat well and rest x