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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely fuming at my GPs?

234 replies

metsa · 26/03/2019 17:16

My baby will turn 6 weeks old on 3rd April. The GP surgery called me when I was first home to give me details on how to register her and told me that someone will be in touch to arrange her 6 week check. So I waited until today, with no contact from them, and finally decided I can't wait any longer so I decided to arrange this appointment myself.

Well apparently the soonest appointment they have is 16th April! I am fuming. I had a cesarean and I cannot drive. I live in a village. My partner works long hours 50 miles from where we live and is a contractor so doesn't get paid for days he doesn't go into work. I am totally stranded. I have missed one blood test for me and one for the baby already simply because there is no way for me to get to them. I will have missed the due date on another 2 blood tests by the time of this appointment.

And to make it worse my in laws are coming for the week of 8th April. I will no have no choice but to sit at home with them all week since I can't drive them anywhere. We can walk around the village but nowhere else.

I am fuming because this is not a surprise need for an appointment or a whim I have. This is essential and has been known about for weeks. If I hadn't contacted the GP today I have no idea when or if they would have contacted me. I feel utterly isolated and let down. AIBU?

OP posts:
Deadposhtory · 26/03/2019 19:00

I drove after ten days. But I'm a sp so had no choice

sar302 · 26/03/2019 19:00

Can you get a taxi in. Fill in all the registration paperwork and book the 8 week vaccinations while you're there. Then get a taxi again for the check. Get signed off by GP. Then drive back for the vaccinations.

ScrewyMcScrewup · 26/03/2019 19:03

Hear, hear -what a bunch of self satisfied shrews.
The GP's surgery Fs up, her DH is away, she has the bluddy in laws for a week. But you'd all swan through this easily - yeah right!

The GP didn't fuck up at all. They have done nothing wrong and the OP's husband and in laws are nothing to do with them. She would have got more sympathy if she hadn't been FUMING that the GP isn't acting like her private secretary.

Ginnymweasley · 26/03/2019 19:04

OP are you ok? Feeling overwhelmed? Anxious? Etc if you are then you need to talk to your HV. I would give them a call anyway to discuss this as I'm sure they will be able to reassure you that the 6 week check really isn't vital and many are done closer to 8 weeks anyway. All of my Ds vaccinations were done a week late due to appointments and it really wasnt a problem. I think you need to talk to someone especially if you are feeling isolated etc.

Pinkblanket · 26/03/2019 19:09

My insurers wanted me to have seen the gp too after my c section.

thankssomuchforthat · 26/03/2019 19:10

Whose idea was it for the in-laws to come? Depending on how close you are to them, I would consider putting them off. Make up an excuse if you're not up to being assertive, make life easy on yourself. I was a mess when baby was still 6 weeks old.
Or if you love your in-laws....let them come and do some housework, get takeaways, and let them hire a car and they can take you out to take your mind off things.
Dont listen to the "whats wrong with you??!!" brigade.

Aragog · 26/03/2019 19:15

Those saying car insurance doesn't matter after a c section, it really does vary. Not everyone checks, and not many people will actually found out unless they have an accident and try to claim.

The below comments from some insurance companies shows there is no set time nor set rules. I suspect many may only come to light on their true policy around it if you try to claim for, in particular an abdomen, injury - will they then say you shouldn't have been driving or it was too soon, or you weren't well enough

Admiral: As long as your doctor gives you the all clear to drive, your insurance won’t be affected.

Hastings: as above

Esure: just says if YOU feel ok, but recommend speaking to doctor first

Aviva: As long as the doctor has given you the all clear and you feel OK to drive, then it's absolutely fine. You don't need to provide proof and we don't need to note anything on your policy (including caesarean's).

JemSynergy · 26/03/2019 19:15

It took me 10 weeks to feel fit and pain free enough to drive. I had a very bad time during my csection. I have to say I don't remember talking to my GP or insurance about it, I just didn't get in the car until I felt strong enough to do an emergency stop.

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2019 19:15

Who ar rhe insurers requesting this?

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2019 19:16

I'd just call th doctors then if you feel fine to drive, they will do it over the phone.

TickTockBaby · 26/03/2019 19:17

OP having a new baby is stressful and can feel overwhelming so your frustration is understandable.

But,

  1. it is not the GP surgery's responsibility to book you an appointment you have already been notified of. You were, I'm assuming, notified of the need for this appointment and should have organised it appropriately.

  2. it's actually a 6-8 week check, my daughter did not get hers from the GP instead we had ours from our health visitor. (Apparently in our area NE both HV and GPS are scheduled for the 6-8 weeks check)

  3. For driving purposes you need to be able to safely complete an emergency stop after any type of surgery including CS.

  4. I'm not sure how your DP work schedule or in-laws visiting is anything to do with the GP.

  5. if you have any immediate concerns about baby contact GP, HV or 111 OOH. Otherwise I'm sure they'll be fine to wait for a general review.

You sound quite stressed, could your DP take some time off seen as his parents are visiting from out of area any way and you all spend some time together with him doing any driving that's required?

Congratulations on your new baby! 🥳

theworldistoosmall · 26/03/2019 19:19

Why did you miss the blood tests?

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2019 19:21

Ok so we have ascertained that it's totally fine if you have the checks at eight weeks are so, there is no issue.

To drive you can call the surgery if you feel fine, explain you need a doctor to say it's ok and can one call you back.

The concerning thing is you say you feel "utterly isolated".

Do you have any support other than your husband? Friends or family nearby? Can you speak to your health visitor or request a visit?

HeritageCarrot · 26/03/2019 19:23

It’s annoying but i think fuming about this is rather a waste of fumes.

GPs are not what they were. I used to get reminders about annual blood tests/medication reviews/blood pressure checks as I have high BP etc. Over the last 4 or 5 years if I’ve not chased these things up they don’t happen. Its just one more illustration of how stretched the NHS is now sadly.

I was seething when I received someone else’s medication, when I asked for a print out of blood tests and discovered an ‘abnormal’ that had been flagged up but that no one had contacted me about (it was really serious) But I kind of think we now have to be on the ball about check ups, reviews and blood tests because it’s no longer a given we will get reminders. Hope you are back on the road soon and congratulations on your new baby.

zeeboo · 26/03/2019 19:25

None of this is down to your poor GP. Your dh is the one who is responsible for his parents coming to stay and who is responsible for not taking a day off to drive you to an appointment.

Perhaps it isn't very kind that people are pointing out that millions of other women cope with having a newborn and sorting out their appointments etc but it is the truth. As a 19 year old single Mum I'd have thought all my Christmases had come at once if I'd had a husband or some in laws or the knowledge that I would be able to drive a car within a few short weeks. The reason some people make snarky comments is often because some people really do need it pointing out to them how lucky they are

WYP2018 · 26/03/2019 19:32

OP you’ve had plenty of people tell you YABU. But having suffered with my mental health in the past I can understand how overwhelming organising things like this can be at times. Give your health visitor a ring if you’re not feeling great. I hope you’re ok.

Raspberry88 · 26/03/2019 19:35

FGS, everyone else manages! In some parts of the world women pop out a baby and have to go to back to work in the field. People are so precious.

Well, no. Actually. Some manage but lots die and their babies die. Fucking ridiculous.

The reason some people make snarky comments is often because some people really do need it pointing out to them how lucky they are

Perhaps. I do think it's concerning though that we are are all very sensitive when it comes to mental health these days except for when it comes to mothers. I felt exactly how the OP feels for a very long while after giving birth. I remember looking it up and seeing that there was actually a term for it...postpartum rage. I was so fucking angry at everyone and everything. Sometimes the best thing to do is just to let it all out on MN. OP, I hope you're feeling ok and it all works out.

ChicCroissant · 26/03/2019 19:36

Congratulations on your new baby, OP!

Firstly, the blood tests - what are they, and why did you miss them? The heel prick test was done by the midwife/HV at home IIRC.

I wouldn't worry about the appointment being after the 6 week mark. It would be worth checking whether it covers you and baby, or just baby.

Also, I would clarify what kind of proof your insurers need before you can drive again.

Best of luck OP, and if you are feeling overwhelmed please speak to your midwife/HV.

twoheaped · 26/03/2019 19:42

Taxi??

lancaster · 26/03/2019 19:50

I am a GP and am very puzzled. Have never signed anyone off for driving at 6-8 week check.

jcq17 · 26/03/2019 19:54

I'd imagine OP is regretting this post lol

MrsPerfect12 · 26/03/2019 19:57

Some insurances need a note on your drs file to say it's okay to drive. Some it's use your judgment. Check with your insurance. Do a phone consultation with the docs to get passed to drive.

crispysausagerolls · 26/03/2019 19:59

Well, no. Actually. Some manage but lots die and their babies die. Fucking ridiculous

My “everyone else manages” is clearly in relation to everyone in this country managing to book a 6-8 week check up for their baby, despite also being 6 weeks postpartum. Which they do.

eurochick · 26/03/2019 20:07

My insurers asked for GP sign off. It was bloody annoying. I could do the emergency stop at 6 days post section but couldn't get an appointment until 11 days. I was desperate to drive again as my baby was in nicu so we were back and forth to the hospital several times a day and my husband didn't drive.

Raspberry88 · 26/03/2019 20:11

My “everyone else manages” is clearly in relation to everyone in this country managing to book a 6-8 week check up for their baby, despite also being 6 weeks postpartum. Which they do.

Not that clear...no.
I didn't book anything was sent an appointment. All of my appointments were booked by the hospital or gps. I can understand why the OP expected to be contacted if that's the impression she was given.