Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely fuming at my GPs?

234 replies

metsa · 26/03/2019 17:16

My baby will turn 6 weeks old on 3rd April. The GP surgery called me when I was first home to give me details on how to register her and told me that someone will be in touch to arrange her 6 week check. So I waited until today, with no contact from them, and finally decided I can't wait any longer so I decided to arrange this appointment myself.

Well apparently the soonest appointment they have is 16th April! I am fuming. I had a cesarean and I cannot drive. I live in a village. My partner works long hours 50 miles from where we live and is a contractor so doesn't get paid for days he doesn't go into work. I am totally stranded. I have missed one blood test for me and one for the baby already simply because there is no way for me to get to them. I will have missed the due date on another 2 blood tests by the time of this appointment.

And to make it worse my in laws are coming for the week of 8th April. I will no have no choice but to sit at home with them all week since I can't drive them anywhere. We can walk around the village but nowhere else.

I am fuming because this is not a surprise need for an appointment or a whim I have. This is essential and has been known about for weeks. If I hadn't contacted the GP today I have no idea when or if they would have contacted me. I feel utterly isolated and let down. AIBU?

OP posts:
BrendasUmbrella · 26/03/2019 18:29

(If you get a taxi OP, make sure you are confident in installing and removing the car seat.)

Almostfifty · 26/03/2019 18:29

As a PP said, all the DVLA require is that you can comfortably do an emergency stop. You are not banned from driving and your insurers cannot stop you from doing so.

Perty01234 · 26/03/2019 18:30

@metsa just a quick one you will have to make a separate appointment for yourself as well as one for the baby.
Mine were about two weeks apart, DS at six weeks mine at 8weeks.
The 8 week for me was really just a check in and to look for signs of Pnd

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 26/03/2019 18:30

*had a baby six weeks ago - cut her some slack

FGS, everyone else manages! In some parts of the world women pop out a baby and have to go to back to work in the field. People are so precious.*

Well...yes. But it is nice to be kind.

NicciLovesSundays · 26/03/2019 18:35

Hi Metsa
Its always frustrating when someone says they will do something and then doesnt. Try to set it behind you and focus on the things you can change.

Maybe you could talk to the doctor/nurse about whether or not you can start driving again? If not are there any places close by that you could go to for an afternoon out with your inlaws using public transport or a taxi? Its bound to be stressful having house visitors with a young baby but it will probably be smoother than you think.
Nicci

JaneEyre07 · 26/03/2019 18:35

I was driving within a month each time with my sections OP, and didn't declare anything to the insurance. GP and midwife both said to try braking and if nothing pulled, I'd be fine!

Do you not know anyone who could give you a lift? Bus? Taxi? Neighbour?

I wouldn't worry, our GP does checks at 8 weeks along with baby's first set of jabs. It won't harm either of you to wait. Good luck with the in-laws staying, I hope they're the helpful sort Flowers

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 26/03/2019 18:37

OP are you ok? I mean really ok? I can understand totally how terrifying it is to have a new baby and to want to do everything right...It is also isolating and tiring and little things can become big things....I too had a c section I was in my 40s and did not recover as quickly as I thought i might have done.I do remember the first time I had to drive on my own to meet my husband to register our baby and I was so so relieved to get out of the car it was bloody awful the nerves! If you feel overwhelmed in general please talk to someone...If the baby is doing well and you are ok then thats great ,,if you arent doing so good an dare worried thats ok too you just have to say and someone will help you ,,,they wont judge either,,It should be the most happiest of times right now but for some reason thats not always the case due to our mad hormones,I wish you well ....take care

Nomorepies · 26/03/2019 18:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Snog · 26/03/2019 18:41

Living in a village fills me with dread due to the car dependency thing. I feel your pain OP

YogaWannabe · 26/03/2019 18:41

YAB so U but I wonder is there more at play here? PND maybe? To be so overwhelmed over a non issue is unusual, how are you feeling in yourself?

weareallfuckednow · 26/03/2019 18:42

OP in the kindest possible way... I hope you are ok.
You've got some harsh responses on here. MN can be pretty savage at times.
Honest, but savage.
You are panicking, I can see that. But there are ways round this.
Your LO won't suffer if the 6 week check up is a couple of weeks late.
I'm guessing there are no underlying / concerning health conditions, otherwise you'd be under close supervision.

Take a step back and breathe deep...

HarrySnotter · 26/03/2019 18:44

OP, I would double check with GP/insurance company about driving. I think you've been given incorrect information.

The 6 week check is rarely done exactly at 6 weeks - some don't even do them at all so I wouldn't worry about it being a little later than you would like. If you do manage to get an earlier appt from a cancellation or something, could you get a bus/train/taxi/have a friend drive you?

cptartapp · 26/03/2019 18:47

We do our checks with the imms at around eight weeks, even later when there's no appointments, so you're wrong OP, it's not 'essential' they're done so no need to be 'absolutely fuming'. There's enough misguided patients kicking off wrongly as it is.
I suspect the thought of you solely entertaining your IL's is at the root of your anger and frustration, and for that I sympathise. I would reduce it to a long weekend and let your DH with them and the baby whilst you have a break.

t1mum3 · 26/03/2019 18:47

Oh FFS leave her alone. Wasn't anyone else a bit bemused about how to do things when they first had a baby? Like, does the midwife make and appointment to come to you? Do you need to contact the HV? Do you need to make an appointment to register the birth? Etc etc.

The OP sounds like she feels a bit isolated and a bit panicky which are perfectly normal things to feel when life as you know it has completely turned upside down.

Well done to everyone who made that transition perfectly but from those of us who didn't, hope you get it sorted OP. And congratulations on your new baby.

Ceebs85 · 26/03/2019 18:48

My GP does the postnatal check and baby check at the same time at 8 weeks so you won't be far off that. Just make sure it's a double appointment. You can drive when you feel comfortable to.

I wouldnt be fuming, if there's an issue you need seeing sooner about get an emergency appt in the meantime.

nocoolnamesleft · 26/03/2019 18:51

I'm bothered that you're saying that your baby has missed a blood test. The only routine blood test by this age is the new born screening tests, collected onto a special paper form, from a heel prick, by the midwives. Needing more blood tests than that implies a suspected health problem, which could then explain your anxiety.

Wallsbangers · 26/03/2019 18:53

I had a 6 week pp check which was about my mood and contraception and my baby had one at 8 weeks which was then followed straight after by his jabs. I don't think either had to be done exactly on that date and my check up was a massive waste of time.

It's your (and your DHs) responsibility to sort these appointments out, you can't just miss blood tests because it's too difficult to get somewhere, you have to sort out drs appointments and vaccinations etc etc.

Mintychoc1 · 26/03/2019 18:54

I think you may have been misinformed by whoever you spoke to at your insurance company. I’ve been a GP for over 20 years and have never been asked to sign someone as fit to drive post caesarean .

Bombalarino · 26/03/2019 18:55

I wonder if your insurer is willing to pay your (I presume) NHS GP for the non NHS work of confirming your fitness to drive? I suspect not.

Of course this isn't the OPs fault, but it would be more appropriate to get frustrated with the insurer rather than the GP!

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2019 18:55

Are you feeling a little overwhelmed op? How do you feel you're coping? You can talk to your health visitor or your doctor.

For your appt you should be fine to drive, I wouldn't be concerned. As a pp said all that's usually required is you can perform an emergency stop. Are you nervous about going out alone with the baby? Or have you done this already? If not then maybe a taxi is the answer, or go out at the weekend or the evening with your husband in the car too, or for a short drive.

Sometimes our anxiety gets the better of us, and that's really ok.

MaggieAndHopey · 26/03/2019 18:56

Everyone's always 'fuming' on mumsnet.

Sunonthepatio · 26/03/2019 18:57

Honestly I think it's not worth "fuming" about. Either you are mistaken or there was a miscommunication. Either way, it's not the end of the world if your baby is well. Make sure you register him for vaccinations though, with the nurse.

Iwrotethissongfor · 26/03/2019 18:58

I had a c section. Our GP appt for “6 week” check was given to me by the HV the week after my baby was born and it was still for when she was just over 8 weeks, on same day as her first immunisations. I think in a lot of areas it’s really a postnatal check for within the first couple of months.

What is it your insurance company are looking for from your GP? You won’t get anything at your post natal check that you can forward onto them. I was driving from about 3/4 weeks. I called my insurance company to ask about driving and they told me I needed a doctor to certify I was fit to drive. I think this is a misnomer as in the UK your GP doesn’t do any checks specifically regarding driving, they certainly don’t provide written documentation for insurance or any other purposes and it’s not the purpose of your post natal check. my doctor looked at my scar and felt my tummy to make sure my uterus had gone back down and otherwise asked me questions about how I felt. even if you asked them about driving it’s quite circular as it’s be based on your assessment of your ability to drive. I explained this to my insurer. after being put on hold they said that as long as I was content I could drive safely and do an emergency stop etc then it was fine and they’d put a note on the file that they were content with that.

Sunonthepatio · 26/03/2019 18:58

@ Maggie, ain't it the truth!

Chocolateisfab · 26/03/2019 18:59

Maggie you are quite incorrect.
I read a post not so long ago where the op was vexed!! I was very impressed!!