To tell 12yold the real meaning

[Crockof]

Year 7. Keep coming back with playground talk which is inappropriate and incorrect. We have a very open relationship and I encourage them to talk to me. Tonight he laughed and said I just teabagged the dog. I questioned what he said and he says that everyone says it at school and he thinks it means to sit on. I hated being made to feel stupid by not knowing stuff at school (I was very innocent) but equally don't want to project. Wibu to tell him what it means?

Yes I'd tell him. He's going to hear it from his friends sooner or later and he'll feel stupid that he's been going round saying it. You can't protect kids from everything forever so I would just be honest with him and move on from it.

I would just explain it to him.

Tea bagging has also moved on a little from just being a sex act. Such as the film step brothers when he yells "I'm going to tea bag your drum kit Dale" it just means rub your scrotum on to things more than anything now in popular culture, it does still have a sex act attached to it too also.

The world is a weird place 🤷

My dp ad to tell my ds (a young year 9) this last week - I knew when he had told him because I suddenly heard ds yell ewwwww! I think the youngsters today might mean something else by it.

I would in this instance tell him. I suspect none of the kids know that's why he doesn't though,

And I don't think it's usually seen as a sexual act as such, more it's a crude joke, dipping your balls in and out of someone's open mouth, like a tea bag, generally done when they are asleep or passed out drunk for the laughs,

I wasn't suggesting he googled it,

Another poster did.

Ah yes, missed that, thanks soupdragon

@Mokepon when I'm at home on my own it sometimes feels like I'm the only person going through it, really helps when mnetters share x

Ok so, I must be sheltered because I did not know that! Tell him and I am sure he will welcome the explanation. It alot better for kids, when they are able to talk openly at home.
Funnily enough I never used to have no blanket bans on any words but the children in my world self regulated themselves.

Haha my son used to use tea bagging in that context, it’s because of a victory move on fortnight. I told him and it became a family joke.

@Crockof I think lots of parents feel like that, it's a tough job. You're never alone on MN!!

I think once they have used a word in the wrong context, it's time to give an age appropriate explanation to tell them why it isn't a good word choice.

My older children hate talking about sex (13 year old has SN and 11 year old has ASD) and my youngest (almost 10) is at the 'curious as a concept but the limit is people kissing' stage. So I can be very brief in explanations. Something like 'Teabagging is not a nice word, and it means something to do with sex.' But I think we should be prepared to give a proper explanation if asked about it, even if they includes 'and I don't want to go into more detail because it isn't appropriate.'

Had similar convo with 13 yr old DS. Word of the week in swedish (on some yt channel) is a word for giving pleasure to oneself (male). And he found it funny as in "oh, loads of chips and chocolate". I told him they didn't really mean it like that. He will hear these thing anyway, I'd rather tell him than let him make a fool out of himself. And let's ne fair: sex and related things/words are part of normal life. Nothing to be ashamed of.

I have to say that I would be telling him, I have always been able to talk openly to my children. And also had to have chat with my mum once!!
We had a small charity shop in the village called the glory hole!!
She would say things like "oh your dads just popped into the glory hole"!!!
I would just get the giggles everytime, and in the end told her the meaning!

yes id tell him.dont act like it anything to tell him or he has something to be embaressed over just sit and tell him.
or print out the definition and "im just going to leave this here ok,i wanted to tell you incase the teacher hears you say this luv"

Told him, went fine was a bit shocked and did giggle

Well done OP! I’d have either told him straight, like you did, or I’d have told him it was rude and then shown him the Urban dictionary website. Teach a man to fish and all that...

My child is much younger and I tell her what swears and slang phrases mean. Thankfully we haven’t hit one quite that graphic yet. I think I would give her a general idea and ask her if she wants more detail.

I think having the proper definitions for all words empowers her. We also explain that the setting matters and certain things can’t be said at certain times.

My so had to explain it to me when he was a similar age

You could tell him it’s slang for a sex act and suggest he google it

Surely fucking not

Just saying... I had no idea what it was- and I’m 37! (Sheltered life 🤣) so I was sensible and googled urban dictionary, then Wrote it there to search.
Helpful, informative, not crude, no porno pop ups. Might be an ok-ish place to send curious teens (or confused parents!)
It also confirmed it’s also a term for crouching over a dead body in fortnite celebrating - which may explain some teenage confusion!

Gawd no.... Maybe he just thought of it in a fortnite sense....... I will have corrupted the whole year with my explanation 😂

Telling him was the right thing to do.

DD came home about the same age and used the phrase "titwank" which she used as an expression of frustration where others might say "oh shit"

I told her off which made her more determined to say it, once I explained the meaning she went bright red and never said it again.

When I was a kid I was pretty naive and really wish I had someone to explain all the rude slang I heard in the playground.

I told mine that until they know what it actually means then I did not want to hear them use it or hear they had used it. As they got older and wiser, I changed it to whether they felt that was an appropriate word to say in company/family time/to friends/Your mother and if it was yes (rarely) I would make it clear that I did not. As a result, the strongest term I hear is bloody although I am sure they use stronger language with their mates!

@crockof hilarious! Imagine him telling them all at school tomorrow “no it’s not a fortnite move, it when.....” 🤣🤣 you’ll be posting tomorrow to say cross mums accosted you at pick up for leading their kids astray lol

You have to tell him.
Can you imagine if he tells the class that you were teabagging the dog.