Car seats and car parks

[Planeticket]

We went to get some groceries and the parking was very narrow. There are parent and child spaces but these were full, many with people who do not have kids but that's fine, maybe they need to be closer to the front of the car park.

We chose to go to the back of the car park because we have twins in car seats who need to be carried and placed in (one of our twins is physically sn). The area we chose to park in had no one else in either of the spaces around us. Anyways, when we came back out of the store we were packed in. There were still spaces around the car park.

I go to put my son in the car but the gap is too narrow to get him in, so I open the door wider and it touches the car next to us. In the car was a lady who was just waiting in the drivers seat, and she came out very upset and confrontational.

She said she would appreciate if I didn't touch her car or whatever. I told her that we specifically chose this space because of our situation and I needed to get my son in the car and she could have chose to park somewhere else without being so close to another car with car seats in it. Nothing happened to her car.

AIBU to think she was being a drama llama for getting so confrontational about it? She didn't have to park so close to our car and this was particularly unwise if you see it has car seats in it!

@ Babyornotbaby what's with the aggressive response? I say "lol" because I am trying to make a light hearted joke. It's not that serious...

If the car park questions upset you, then don't read in to it so much. I'm just asking what people would do in different situations so I know what I can try to do.

What windy said.

Your attitude is a disgrace.

I was joking... I'm not serious... If I was serious I wouldn't ask you guys. That's why I thought adding "lol" would show I was joking. I guess I'm just a disgrace though because I didn't damage anyone's car and I made a joke. Sorry.

But it’s been explained to you that even resting your door against the other car does damage. Can’t you see that?

Wow. You hold the door, you move the car, you wait for your husband. The fact you are in a rush means nothing. You do not damage other people's property and then "lol" about it.

I don't see how it does damage if there's not even a scuff mark afterward, I guess I harmed the car's feelings. I apologise.

but anyways you still haven't answered my question...

Sorry, I thought you were asking about the situation you'd posted about.
If a car has parked tightly to me, then I keep my hand over the edge of my door as I wiggle my way in. I have, I think twice in over 35 yrs of driving, not been able to get in, and then I've gone in through the passenger side.
Then, as other posters have already replied, you could go back to the shop and ask for an announcement to be put out.

And when you've talked yourself into believing that anyone who doesn't want their car hit by other cars' doors should obviously avoid car parks, you are being doubly unreasonable.

This ^

Possibly, as you seem to be unable to get into your car without damaging other people's cars, it is you who should avoid car parks.

If you were getting in to the driver side and the space was too tight, putting your hand on the other side of the door would not be possible as you squeezed yourself in to the seat

Of course it is - I've done this zillions of times.

Not sure why you've asked if YWBU, as everybody has clearly told you you are, and you are just arguing back, as if you actually believe it is your right to open your car doors on to someone else's car

I guess I harmed the car's feelings. I apologise.
I really don't get what you wanted to get from this thread
It is obvious to me that you show complete disregard for common kindness.

@Planeticket I've got a big car and I've never had to rest my door on someone else's car before when getting in and out of my car. My town has very tight parking, the carparks haven't been touched up in donkeys so designed for significantly smaller cars. I am no stranger to tight parking. You're looking for problems here.

"It's not socially acceptable in the UK to touch another person's car. Even if you are just gently opening your own door to try and squeeze in, and even if they have parked incredibly badly."

I like that but also finding it ridiculous in reality. In real life if someone has parked too close to me I will open the door the required amount to get my kids in and out of the car properly even if that means touching the other car. I certainly wouldn't be leaving my kids on the sidewalk/trolley or whatever whilst I move my car, it would be incredibly dangerous. Anyway the solution is definitely sliding doors! My car has them so I only have an issue when using my husband's car!

Ok. You're trolling now.
Try what I said. Make sure you have a little paint spot repair kit handy.
Be a better person.
Don't damage people's cars.

Yes windysowindy I am just an unkind disgrace who harmed another lady's car's feelings.

Anyways, I was just trying to figure out what other people would do in various situations.

@ Backforgood I never thought of putting out an announcement. Would people be allowed to do that in GP surgeries? That might be a silly question, I just ask because i have never seen that done before.

Also I have never damaged another person's physical car, just thought I would put that out there.

The other woman was a prize twat. People who go crazy over their cars are idiots - I'd tell her to go and live on a remote island where other human beings can't disturb her

Damn right if I’d some twat damage my car carelessly I’d have a go at her.

I’m sitting at the minute with a car that needs a respray. That I can’t afford. And I can’t go anywhere without using my car so unless I claim it on my own insurance (to get a courtesy car) I’m stuck with it due to some dickwad being negligent and careless.

My car is old. But I look after it. I don’t want it damaged. I can’t afford to replace it

This thread is getting out of hand. If you need that much space then you need to either roll the car out of the space to help get the doors open or wait for the other car to leave.

There is never an acceptable excuse for damaging someone else's property and blaming tight car parks is just silly.

You know you need to get in your car easily so you can either park in and end space and leave extra room on the car side or save up and upgrade to a car with sliding doors.

I don't look for car seats when I park as I don't expect people to use their children as an excuse to damage my property

I drove an old land rover discovery in the late 1990s. The really boxy square metal box ones.

I still didn’t have to touch someone else’s car getting my kids in and out. 🤷‍♀️

I ended up leaving a push dent in someone's car. I had parked right on an end, next to a flower bed, on the line passenger side to give me plenty of room to get twins in both sides.

Came back to car to find someone parked over the line drivers side and into my bay. Moving the car out wasn't an option as a) I was on my own with twins and b) I would have been hanging out into the road on a bend. They couldn't move their car as no one was there.

Got 1 twin in their side and then put second twin in. Because of how tight the space was, the pressure of me squeezing into a small space between open door and car meant I was pushing against my door while strapping baby in. Would have been easier if they had been forward facing at the time as I could have reached across from my seat but they were tiny and still rear facing. Left a dent in their door. I did leave them a note explaining exactly how the dent had come about and what absolute idiots they were to park into my bay. I climbed over my passenger seat to get in myself! (That was fun 🙄)

Definitely consider getting a car with sliding doors. We had a Ford Bmax and then upgraded to a Cmax (bigger). Both have sliding rear doors without being enormous minivans, perfect.

Also I would recommend finding an end space (next to a pavement or something) rather than a space between two empty ones. Other drivers don't know you have 2 car seats or that your child has sn.

I don't look for car seats when I park as I don't expect people to use their children as an excuse to damage my property

Yes, it sounds like OP’s kids are frequently going to be excuses for her poor behaviour.

If your cars are so precious maybe leave them at home

Yes, most people do buy cars to leave them at home and never use them. The whole point of them in fact!

I have had to climb in the pasenger side a few time, 3 since Aug and all at work, one of the new staff members cars likes my car. I couldn't even fit my bag in the space she left 😂😂
Another time whilst pregnant i had to climb in vi the boot at 7/8 months pregnant as i had been boxed in on both sides and my bump just wouldn't squash sufficiently 🤔
I have also had to leave a car seat in the boot to reverse out enough to open the door. Most spaces are wide enough but people like to park near the line on their passenger sides, so when one reverses and one drives in it can be a mess. However you still can't touch other's cars. Even though when they are packed over the line you really want to open your door hard 3 or 4 times.

YANBU, I always open the door slowly against any car parked next to mine when getting the kids in/out. There's less chance of it catching the wind or being knocked with speed into the car that way which would cause a dent.

@ Backforgood I never thought of putting out an announcement. Would people be allowed to do that in GP surgeries? That might be a silly question, I just ask because i have never seen that done before.

Thought this was about a supermarket carpark, but, yes. I live close to a Dr's and regularly get completely selfish individuals who park over my drive. So yes, I can confirm at least 2 or 3 times a month I go in and ask whoever it is who has parked over my drive, to move it.