Car seats and car parks

[Planeticket]

We went to get some groceries and the parking was very narrow. There are parent and child spaces but these were full, many with people who do not have kids but that's fine, maybe they need to be closer to the front of the car park.

We chose to go to the back of the car park because we have twins in car seats who need to be carried and placed in (one of our twins is physically sn). The area we chose to park in had no one else in either of the spaces around us. Anyways, when we came back out of the store we were packed in. There were still spaces around the car park.

I go to put my son in the car but the gap is too narrow to get him in, so I open the door wider and it touches the car next to us. In the car was a lady who was just waiting in the drivers seat, and she came out very upset and confrontational.

She said she would appreciate if I didn't touch her car or whatever. I told her that we specifically chose this space because of our situation and I needed to get my son in the car and she could have chose to park somewhere else without being so close to another car with car seats in it. Nothing happened to her car.

AIBU to think she was being a drama llama for getting so confrontational about it? She didn't have to park so close to our car and this was particularly unwise if you see it has car seats in it!

Car seats are pretty big things. You can usually see them through the front of back window when you drive past the car. And even if you dont notice the car seat until after you get out of the car, its still up to you to take the risk that your door might get bumped into.

I get so p**d off when people open their car door on mine. I try to park considerately myself and open door carefully.

I don't blame her OP.

@Planeticket - could you put a little disabled sign or sticker in/on the back window of your car? There are some you can get which say "please don't park too close" - most people aren't arseholes on purpose, and will be considerate if they are made aware, but not everyone notices car seats when they pull into a space.

Thanks for the sticker recommendations, I will definitely look in to getting those!

I think I would get done if I left my children alone in the trolley while I parked somewhere else lol. Plus it wouldn't be safe for them.

You could have waited for your husband so they would not be alone! In the meantime, you could have put the groceries in your car.

Either way, you can’t go round monopolising car parks, banging other cars with your car door or expecting the car owners to be understanding about this. If you can’t rely on parking somewhere you can get your children in and out without potentially damaging other people’s cars, then use online shopping.

This is literally why online food shopping was invented. No idea why’d you go through all the stress of taking twins food shopping when you can have it delivered to your door and no cars necessary! Tesco and Sainsbury’s do same-day delivery now as well.

Hmm... Well to be honest, we wanted a day out. My twins are speech delayed, and to get them engaged in learning they like to see new things. One of my boys is particularly obsessed/fascinated by shopping. When we got to the store, they couldn't cope (most days are great, but today was hard). They started fighting with each other, one trying to bite the other and the other trying to hit back, so I decided to take them out of the store in a rush since I felt embarrassed. I would prefer to order our stuff and stay out of public, but then I've been called a mole person for doing that and again, it's more about getting my boys to engage and try to get them to speak. It's tough, but I think I have learned that I will try to always have someone with me next time.

This would have annoyed me too, OP.
But I have twins too and car seats / car parks / trolleys are just a pain and frazzling. You can try and limit this, but things will generally conspire to keep them frazzling. You could have parked miles from any other car and returned to find someone parked right next to you with 20 free spaces in every direction.

It's like the Truman Show. Similar to phenomenon where you could be in a deserted car park in a ghost town at 4am on a January Sunday and start to reverse, and somebody would still appear out of nowhere and insist on walking behind your car meaning you have to slam on the brakes.

When I say it would have annoyed me - I mean if I was in your position, not the mean unreasonable lady.

If I can’t get my son in very well due to small parking spaces i used to put him through the window, sort his straps and then do thr window up when I got in the car, it was more easier than holding the door open.

Op I was thinking of something like this www.amazon.co.uk/s/?hvlocphy=9045172&hvptwo&hvnetw=g&keywords=rubber+car+door+protectors&hvadid=259006206186&index=aps&hvpone&ref=pd_sl_2y4x7lj1br_e&hvlocint&hvpos=1t1&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt=e&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8&hvtargid=kwd-315947543490&adgrpid=53488910379&hvrand=4495870458097825375 for your door. My dad definitely had them in the 1970s and that would protect any car you touched against.

I don't think yabu if, and only if, the door only touched hers. But it kinda feels like it probably hit it as for her to know your door was touching hers is unlikely but she'd have heard it hit it

Re the shopping, do your big shop online and then just take the boys for little shopping trips that wont stress you out. My friend does this with her boy with ASD.

Re the woman in the car forget it, buy a sticker, get a blue badge. There are always more disabled places than parent child, oh hang on you may also want a 'not everybody's disability is visible' sticker because there lies a whole new thread ..

YANBU OP, people on here don’t seem to realise that very minor accidents happen and no one is perfect. I’ve been the woman in the car and I’d have offered to help you not berate you.

@Nanna50 thanks for the info, I will definitely look in to getting a blue badge

This is to give me the rage when trying to get baby seat into the car. Ended up doing what I hate by parking on end and taking up two spaces

Doesn't need to be this complicated.

Put both in from the side that isn't difficult, the one who doesn't need to be placed in on the far side, other one nearest to you. Strap that DC in then go round and strap other in, if you can't due to space they will be fine for 2 secs while you move car so you can reach.

Do apply for the blue badge but they are very hard to get so don’t get hopes up too much. Wrong but that’s the way it is sadly.

Ds is 9 and uses a wheelchair when out a lot and we have still only just got one because he can physically walk.

For things like shopping trips because one loves them can you “split up” so one take one child to do that and the other take the other somewhere they like?

Any shopping trips with ds are kept short and just to a shopping list of his agreement!

I don't think you are bu, spaces are small I always need to touch the car next to with my door to get my son in and out. What else are you supposed to do that's life.

When I park I'd never give a moments thought to if the car at the side of me was putting children in or not. Spaces seem to have got smaller and cars bigger. I wouldn't park in Mother and child spaces either.

These responses are interesting. I honestly didn't think it was a big deal because spaces can be so narrow in this country. I thought it was kind of a normal expectation that your car will probably be touched at some point. For example, I remember one time when we parked at the GP surgery while I was heavily pregnant and the parking was so tight that neither myself nor my DH could get in without doors touching other cars on both sides! What do you guys do in these situations, jump in through the moon roof?

If you can't get out of your car without touching the car next to you then you park elsewhere. Or one person gets out then you park driver to driver door with as much space in between as possible.

YWBVU.

You can't genuinely believe it is okay to open your car doors into another person's car ?

It is unfortunate when the next car is parked closer than makes it comfortable for you to get a dc into their car seat, but it is still your responsibility to not open your car doors into another car. You had lots of options (no point in repeating as they've already been said).

I had 2 under 2, not twins but still both in car seats at the same time. I always parked at the end of a row or next to a trolley park, in our local supermarket there is a 2 foot gap next to these spaces for some reason, or somewhere where I can see how to access the main side I need at least. From very early on I trained my eldest to climb in or out via the front or over the other seat and always made sure I parked so that side was accessible.

I can also do straps etc from the front so chuck them in and then sort from the front.

When eldest was little I had to ask a stranger to watch her for a few seconds as the car next to me was too close and I had her in the car seat - I just reversed back enough to dump her in and stopped taking the car seat out - was easier not to bother.

@ Backforgood Genuinely curious, what would you do if you parked and the two cars later parked so close next to you that it didn't allow you to open your door without touch theirs to get in?