Car seats and car parks

[Planeticket]

We went to get some groceries and the parking was very narrow. There are parent and child spaces but these were full, many with people who do not have kids but that's fine, maybe they need to be closer to the front of the car park.

We chose to go to the back of the car park because we have twins in car seats who need to be carried and placed in (one of our twins is physically sn). The area we chose to park in had no one else in either of the spaces around us. Anyways, when we came back out of the store we were packed in. There were still spaces around the car park.

I go to put my son in the car but the gap is too narrow to get him in, so I open the door wider and it touches the car next to us. In the car was a lady who was just waiting in the drivers seat, and she came out very upset and confrontational.

She said she would appreciate if I didn't touch her car or whatever. I told her that we specifically chose this space because of our situation and I needed to get my son in the car and she could have chose to park somewhere else without being so close to another car with car seats in it. Nothing happened to her car.

AIBU to think she was being a drama llama for getting so confrontational about it? She didn't have to park so close to our car and this was particularly unwise if you see it has car seats in it!

You can buy disability stickers that say you need space to access that side of the car or similar. It would be reasonable to put one on the side of the car that your child with sn uses. We have one for ds who needs help getting out of a car for if there are no blue badge spaces because people always assume the car seat will not contain someone with a disability. It will at least make it a bit less likely that people park inches from your car on that side.

you mean I should wait until the other car leaves, I could try that

No no that could be forever by the speed some people shop I just meant wait for your husband who is presumably a bit more reliable time wise!

Next time if someone is in the car explain and ask them to move or hold the door for u, if your with someone else bring the car out. Its crap when you struggle but it's just one of these things you will need to learn to live with I'm afraid.

So it isn’t enough to have Parent & Child spaces, they’re now expected to have a ten yard exclusion zone around them? 🙄

It’s tough with the ones too little for a badge. Ignore the comments being mean, people just don’t understand the struggle. Look for the window stickers. It may help, although some just don’t see them.

To be fair to the lady, when you are inside a car and other door knocks it, it does sound worse than it is. I would simply apologise and make sure there is no damage. It was an accident, some people accept that, some don’t but don’t beat yourself up about it.

Next time, park over two spaces, or if there are two of you, wait with the kids at the drop off bit then load them in.

You can apply for a badge for children over the age of 2.

On the one hand, I've never ever had any problem getting my kids into a car seat, no matter how narrow the spaces may be. Seems alien to me.

On the other hand, I've no idea why people give such a shit if a car door touches their car. If it wasn't opened hard and banged into the car, then it's just resting against it. Who cares about that? Aggressive people looking for a fight, I would guess.

Can you still get those rubber things for the edge of your car door?

You couldn’t see her (a fully grown adult) in the car because you were “rushing” (why? Your husband was still in the shop) but you expect her to see your little car seats. Maybe she was rushing too? And what if she did see the car seats? People leave them in all the time even when the children are not with them. Just because there is a seat in the car doesn’t guarantee there’s a child on that car journey. My mother has a child seat permanently in the car for the once a week she looks after one of the grandchildren. The other six days a week the seat isn’t used but she just leaves it in because it’s easier.

If you have a child with SN, consider applying for a blue badge.

Earlier on I parked in a space that was empty either side, when I got back both sides had cars there (which is expected, the shop got busier). I couldn't get DD in her car seat even though it swivels to the side because I couldn't open the door wide enough - so, DH backed the car out slightly and I put DD in. Surely you could have done the same?!

It's just about using your words though isn't it. Ask for help rather than struggle and possibly damage someone else's car. I would have looked in the car to see if someone was there, if they were I would have asked if they would mind watching the trolly while I reversed. If I was on my own, I would have gone back to the shop to ask a staff member or security guard for help. If DH was in the shop, I would have gone back to get him to come help or just wait next to the car. Of course no one has to help you but if you ask nicely usually someone will! A few weeks ago someone came over and offered to hold my trolly while I loaded DS into the car seat. It was really windy and the trolly was trying to bash into my car and the ones around me.
Not everyone is a twat

I had this happen to me, was sat in my car waiting for someone. A car pulled up next to me, then the woman full on opened her door on to mine. Made a right thud. Wound the window down to ask her what the hell she thought she was doing to be told ‘don’t worry, it hasn’t marked. I’ll only be a minute’ STILL her car door was touching mine. Some people are so entitled, I don’t expect anyone to risk damaging my property to save 5 mins of their time and be so blase about it! What is that teaching their children?! (Can you tell I’m not over it)

You banged her car with your car door

No, she touched it.

There is a big difference between bang and touch. The lady in the adjacent car was being precious.

OP, unfortunately people do have a habit of ignoring 50 empty spaces and going in next to someone else. There isn't an easy solution.

When space is tight open back window all the way down. Put child in car and close door. Lean in through window and sort child out.

YABU, and hypocritical. You expected her to look into the car next to her for car seats (nobody does that btw, nor should they, and they wouldn’t be able to without parking first even if they wanted to), yet didn’t bother looking to see if there was anyone in the car next to you.

I’m not buying that you were rushing considering your husband was still shopping. I think you’re trying to cover up the fact that you didn’t care if you hit her car, either because you were angry she parked there or you just weren’t bothered.

You had several options, all applicable even if you were on your own. You should have chosen one rather than encroaching onto someone else’s property.

Am I the only person who actively doesn't park my car next cars with car seats in?? Not that a door resting against my door would bother me at all, but if I dont want my car banged into I minimise the risk.

I don’t look. I drive in to spaces when I’m doing groceries and I wouldn’t see a car seat til I had parked.

Or is this going to be the latest thing? No parking next to car seated cars ?

It must have banged her car for her to have heard it though... It can't have been just a touch. Surely?

How can you tell before you park if a car has child seats in?

If she was sat in her car, i imagine she was watching OP open the door. i doubt it banged at all.

Because I have eyes

Lol if you have seen my twins, you would understand why I have to rush to get them in the car. I'm not saying all children are like mine, but mine definitely try to elope whenever possible.

Bang or touch, it’s all irrelevant if it’s done deliberately. It can damage and leads to tiny scratches, nicks, dents and imperfections that devalue the car and cost time and money to fix. Why is it being ‘precious’ to expect others to be careful? I’d be mortified if I damaged someone’s property, not forthright about it.

How do you tell?

Seriously - car is parked boot outwards, I’m driving in to space beside the,, how do you tell?

And you’re supposed to reverse out and go and find another parking space if the becar-seated car belonging to the golden uterus is beside you?

Ridiculous.

Because I have eyes 

Do you also have x-ray vision? How can you see the car seat if it's in someone's parked car without getting out and looking in their windows? My car is quite big with tinted windows. You definitely can't see the car seat unless you've got your face pressed against my car window!

If she was sat in her car, i imagine she was watching OP open the door. i doubt it banged at all.

I imagine if she is sat in the car waiting for someone she will probably be looking at her phone/reading, not necessarily people watching. But since neither of us are the lady in question, we can imagine all we like, we don't know. She was either watching OP and freaked out for no reason, or wasn't watching OP and heard the door hit her car. Or anything in between. Still doesn't make her unreasonable for not wanting someone to use her car as a door rest.