Car seats and car parks

[Planeticket]

We went to get some groceries and the parking was very narrow. There are parent and child spaces but these were full, many with people who do not have kids but that's fine, maybe they need to be closer to the front of the car park.

We chose to go to the back of the car park because we have twins in car seats who need to be carried and placed in (one of our twins is physically sn). The area we chose to park in had no one else in either of the spaces around us. Anyways, when we came back out of the store we were packed in. There were still spaces around the car park.

I go to put my son in the car but the gap is too narrow to get him in, so I open the door wider and it touches the car next to us. In the car was a lady who was just waiting in the drivers seat, and she came out very upset and confrontational.

She said she would appreciate if I didn't touch her car or whatever. I told her that we specifically chose this space because of our situation and I needed to get my son in the car and she could have chose to park somewhere else without being so close to another car with car seats in it. Nothing happened to her car.

AIBU to think she was being a drama llama for getting so confrontational about it? She didn't have to park so close to our car and this was particularly unwise if you see it has car seats in it!

Well - you could have waited for the other adult you took to the shop with you
or
Asked anyone around to keep an eye for the 4 seconds it would have taken you to pull forwards
or
noticed there was someone in the car and asked her if she would mind pulling forwards
or
waited until the driver from either side left
or
just put them "loose" in the car and pulled forwards a few feet and then put them in their car seats
(see noodles post just above yours, or all the other advice you have been given).

You cant just go around risking vandalising other people's cars though.

Get the rubber edging for your car door.

Lol vandalising is a strong/inaccurate word but anyways you still haven't answered my question...

What would you do if you parked in a space, to find later that two cars were parked so close to yours that you could not open a door to get in without touching another car? This means that the reverse theory does not apply. You could not get in to the driver side either without touching another car.

I think if people are going to be precious about their cars, they probably should not park them in tight car parks! Just my opinion. I'm not going to parallel park my car in the middle of a busy NYC then get upset if it gets touched one day... It kind of comes with the territory, sorry.

If I think my car door will touch another, I would put my hand between the two to stop it happening. I've climbed in the passenger seat of my car too, and also had a shop call for someone to move their car if they've parked poorly and stopped me getting back in.

To the people saying that simply touching the door is ok - it isn't. My car is my pride and joy (and is a normal sized hatchback I hasten to add), and no one is entitled to act negligently for their own convenience regardless of whether it causes damage or not, particularly those with a large car that doesn't fit into space properly.

When you put children/shopping/yourself into a car the car moves up and down, so does the door that you're 'just touching' against the car next to you, making a scratch more likely.

I either use my hand to shield or I climb over from the other side. Latter isn’t an option for everyone I accept but the hand helps

YABU.

And when you've talked yourself into believing that anyone who doesn't want their car hit by other cars' doors should obviously avoid car parks, you are being doubly unreasonable.

I think if people are going to be precious about their cars, they probably should not park them in tight car parks!

You could also say if you can't get in and out of your car without hitting someone parked next to you with your door then don't park it in tight car parks.

Unfortunately we all need to park in these car parks and you should do everything you can to prevent potentially damaging someone else's car. As others have said above you had options.

When I started to have this issue with twin babies I used to park down the middle of two spaces so as to guarantee me space to get the trolley round either side of the car.

Donning my flameproof suit now, brb...

Hmm... No I am truly trying to understand the logic here. If you were getting in to the driver side and the space was too tight, putting your hand on the other side of the door would not be possible as you squeezed yourself in to the seat so I am trying to understand what certain groups of people would do in this situation because I have been in this situation before and I have always seen people just get in their cars. So... You would go back in to the store to call the owner of the car to move it? What if no one responded/was in their own world? You would wait however much time they were away to move their car? I have never seen this happen in this country before and I suspect this is bs.

Don't expect everyone else to pander to your needs. Of course it's unreasonable to open your door and touch their car with it.

You can put your hand on the door as you,get in.

You put your right hand on the door and slide in.

It is never acceptable to touch another car with your door.

I cannot believe that there are people who think the other car was unreasonable to park next to another car on a car park and that it is reasonable to hit another car with your car door on a car park. This is probably the most bizarre thread I’ve read on mumsnet.

Truffle me either. And don’t forget you’re supposed to check that the car beside the empty space you want - both sides - doesn’t have car seats because golden uterus and if you park there anyway you should expect to have your car door bashed.

Nah... It's basically if you're going to park in such a way that people cannot get in next to you, don't expect your car to be untouched all the time! Whether you agree with me or not, what I'm saying is realistic and if you want to say golden uterus then you are just showing your bias against parents. Whatever.

But it isn’t my fault that car park spaces are small.

Where do you expect people to park?

They can park there as long as they're realistic. If there are plenty of spaces in the car park, maybe don't park right up next to someone else's car door. If you block their door, maybe don't expect your car to remain untouched. If you don't hold these expectations, then don't use a tight car park. It's reasonable to expect to open your car door imo and if someone blocks that then they run whatever risk they chose.

What if I park and then the car beside me goes and you park after that?

How about you park in such a way as to not touch other people’s doors when you’re getting in and out?

You really are one of those aren't you.

If you can't get in you climb in the other side and imb across. Happens once in a lie moon. Other wise through the boot - never happens so clearly a non issue.

If there are two of you one moves the car - like in your pregnant example.

Sn in an under 3 is a bit of a red herring as most under 3s need lifting into seats ime.

With multiple children you sometimes have to feed them in one side and sort it once you've moved.

Or the boot.

You don't reverse in to a space.

You try to park in a place where you know you will get out from one side.

You are not the first person. This has happened to.

In your case I would have asked the lady to move or watch them or waited for dh. 3 good solutions.

I

Or if you really cba you just do what you did then apologise profusely and pretend it was an accident.

I would have left them in the trolley and asked the lady to watch them while I moved my car.

Or gone and got your DH who was only in the shop.

Sorry but YABU
One of you could have move the car to give more space or you could have carried them in no seat...
It is not anyone else's responsibility to check other people's cars for seats, madness.
I would have said something if you hit my car too.
I have a car seat too and I manage.

And another thing...

People don't actually take car seats out when they don't have their kids with the do they?

When I park somewhere I have never checked to see if there are car seats in the cars next to me? Even if there were it wouldn't mean they actually had any children with them. Why not just ask her politely to pull out while you get the kids in? Thankfully I've never been totally blocked in, I have had to get the kids in from the other side when I've been blocked on one side before so not sure what to do if you're blocked in both sides! Not ideal, it can't be easy with twins OP. Obviously not everyone can but I always aim to get to the shops early in order to get a P&C space and silently seethe as childless people pull into spaces next to me and breezily jump out their car and wonder into the shops

@ itsboiledeggs

Ok, so.. let's try your example but what if you're driving a sedan and can't get in through the boot? Also, do you leave your kids wherever at this point? Do you MacGuyver your kids through the boot that you can't get through? Lol. Come on.

I will wait for DH next time but I think it's unreasonable to expect that cars parked against yours will never be touched. I can't guarantee our driver side and passenger side will never be blocked, it's definitely happened before. I have been in plenty of situations where the driver side door and passenger side would only open such a small bit that there would be no choice but for the door to touch the other door in order to get in. That's just the way many car parks are designed unfortunately and when people park badly it makes it even worse.