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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ds 12 & DD 7 climbing on our scaffolding this morning

91 replies

lavenderpekins · 23/03/2019 14:43

Sooo dangerous? Neglectful possibly? I was in the bath, DH was meant to be with them? They went to the top. Am I unreasonable to have been livid??? 😵

OP posts:
Anique105 · 23/03/2019 14:45

Yanbu. They could have been seriously hurt. But at the 12year I would have been furious as they should have known better.

Hairyfairy01 · 23/03/2019 14:45

I would expect a 12 and 7 year old to know better and be very cross with them, especially the 12 year old. At that age they shouldn't need constant supervision so I wouldn't be cross at Dh.

NuffSaidSam · 23/03/2019 14:47

Livid with them, YANBU.

Livid with DH....depends on whether the children have SEN or other issues. If they are NT children, not his fault, you shouldn't have to watch a 12 year old and 7 year old constantly. They should be able to play in the garden pretty much unsupervised.

MitziK · 23/03/2019 14:47

Livid? I'm surprised you aren't posting for advice on how to get bloodstains out of your carpet and dispose of an item roughly 6 foot long and weighing 13 stone.

If I saw their two children climbing on the scaffolding currently around the neighbour's house, I'd be calling 999.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 23/03/2019 14:47

Positive risk taking is a good thing.

Original poster
lavenderpekins · 23/03/2019 14:52

Dh told them to come down after I was shouting a lot in my towel, he told them 'it's upsetting mummy'?!! He's thinks it was probably ok??

We just don't seem to be on the same page. I'm not a helicopter or cautious parent but they were effectively on the roof...! And now I'm the questioning myself, feeling ashamed for shouting 'so horribly'

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 23/03/2019 14:52

My parents have a photo of me when I was about 7 reading a book at the top of some scaffolding when we were having a 2 storey extension being built. I had climbed up there without their knowledge. I wouldn't do that now and would not be impressed if DS had ever done it

sirfredfredgeorge · 23/03/2019 14:53

There's good reason not to play on building sites. It's less immediately obvious why the safely installed scaffolding around your own house should not be used, I don't see it unreasonable that a 12 year old could judge the risk minimal, scaffolding itself is not inherently dangerous, that's the whole point of it.

NuffSaidSam · 23/03/2019 14:55

'it's upsetting mummy'?!! He's thinks it was probably ok??'

In that case, YANBU to be livid.

BarbarianMum · 23/03/2019 15:11

I dont think it would bother me, it's scaffolding, it should be safe to stand on. Would you be angry if he let them climb a tree?

Original poster
lavenderpekins · 23/03/2019 15:17

No, tree climbing is fine because there are lots of branches underneath. This was a lot higher... I don't know I just need some more perspective. I'm often questioning my parenting around DH. But I just think he's just not sensible and too careless with them??

OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 23/03/2019 15:18

If dh was aware yet didn't do anything about it than that's awful. Yes scaffolding might be 'safe' but all kids should be taught / know never to climb it.

BarbarianMum · 23/03/2019 15:24

Well OK then I think a 12 year old should be fine up a scaffold and I think there is a difference bw climbing scaffolding on your own property and just climbing on any old scaffolding you see, or playing on a building site. 7 year old - depends on how sensible they are.

I think its OK to feel you dont want them up there but I dont think its necessarily unreasonable for your dh to feel differently.

I made use of our builders scaffolding last summer to give our upstairs windows a good clean

DonPablo · 23/03/2019 15:25

It's supposed to be inaccessible isn't it? Gated and locked so no one can get up there if they're not supposed to. Because it's bloody dangerous.

I'd be cross with the kids who should know better and pissed off and angry with dh for being too lax and making me feel like I'm being OTT and not being on my side.

I know we all have difference tolerance levels for stuff, but really dangerous stuff like climbing up to the top of scaffolding isn't really a case of tolerating minor differences, is it?

Original poster
lavenderpekins · 23/03/2019 15:30

Dh's view with lots of physical stuff is they need to learn risk... Just don't know... Awful atmosphere in our house now :(

OP posts:
Tinty · 23/03/2019 15:30

Actually they are not allowed to climb the scaffolding because of the insurance risk. Members of the public are not insured to climb scaffolding even on their own property. Insurance is for the builders who use the scaffolding. It is not for the property owners (even to clean their windows). If a builder fell he would be covered by insurance. If you fell you would not.

formerbabe · 23/03/2019 15:31

I dont think it would bother me, it's scaffolding, it should be safe to stand on

I don't want to sound rude but don't be so fucking stupid.

WeeDangerousSpike · 23/03/2019 15:34

How did they get up there? Did they use the
fixed ladders? I'd still be angry with DH for letting them use it as a climbing frame, but it's designed to be 'safe' for the workers.

If the builders / scaffolders took the access ladders away like they are supposed to and they were shinning up the poles I'd be absolutely raging.

statetrooperstacey · 23/03/2019 15:34

I would let my kids do this at 12 and 7, I would probably go up myself. Don't see a problem, I would have been a bit disappointed if they hadn't had a go!!

BarbarianMum · 23/03/2019 15:35

Why is it stupid to think that scaffolding is safe to climb and stand on?

formerbabe · 23/03/2019 15:38

Why is it stupid to think that scaffolding is safe to climb and stand on?

For children? Who are 7 and 12. Who I presume have never stood on scaffolding before. Who I presume haven't had any safety training. Who I presume aren't wearing hard hats.

Yeah, what could possibly go wrong? Confused

endofthelinefinally · 23/03/2019 15:38

What about when they fall from the top straight onto concrete?
A neighbour did exactly that when he climbed up scaffolding to look at the work his builders were doing.
He had to be airlifted to hospital.

It is all about common sense and risk assessment.
Your DH sounds irresponsible and annoying.

JellyBeanScene · 23/03/2019 15:39

Why are people so convinced that it's entirely safe? Experienced construction workers have fallen and been injured or even killed using scaffolding. Even well maintained scaffolding can be dangerous if people are too lax.

Original poster
lavenderpekins · 23/03/2019 15:39

The ladders have been sort of put away. And the builders told ds12 to only go up if they were there. They just scaled them. I'm alright with them using the bottom poles for pull ups etc but roof height...

OP posts:
MorningsEleven · 23/03/2019 15:42

Why were the ladders there? I'd have been up there as a kid. Give the a telling and be thankful they're in one piece.

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