Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ds 12 & DD 7 climbing on our scaffolding this morning

91 replies

lavenderpekins · 23/03/2019 14:43

Sooo dangerous? Neglectful possibly? I was in the bath, DH was meant to be with them? They went to the top. Am I unreasonable to have been livid??? 😵

OP posts:
IHateUncleJamie · 23/03/2019 16:53

Oh come on. The risk is minimal.

Ah yes, paralysis or death. Minimal, right. 🙄

MrsKCastle · 23/03/2019 16:54

I'm with you, OP. A builder friend was airlifted to hospital after a fall recently and is lucky to be alive. Not worth the risk.

sackrifice · 23/03/2019 16:58

This is very helpful to have other perspectives. I'm going to show this thread to DH this evening...

All the scaffolders and builders would have had to attend Working at Height training to even set foot on scaffolding.

The Working at Height regulations were brought in because so many construction workers kept falling off and dying.

Is your husband one of these 'fun' dads? Who would rather leave all the parenting to you whilst he goofs about?

I know one guy who stepped from the scaffolding to the roof whilst on the phone to his wife, and missed his footing, slid down the inside of the scaffolding and broke his back; whilst still on the phone to his wife.

If construction sites were all safe places for kids, they'd double up and use them as creches at the weekend, no?

Your husband is a fucking twat.

HerRoyalNotness · 23/03/2019 17:00

Ah yes minimal risk. My DD fell off a chair of 1.5 and has 3 staples in her head cut.

There are fall protection regulations for scaffolding. No one should be up scaffolds without training and proper PPE.

HerRoyalNotness · 23/03/2019 17:01

1.5ft.... so imagine the damage from a great height

formerbabe · 23/03/2019 17:03

Oh come on. The risk is minimal. Better than spending the day watching TV. Let them enjoy their childhood!

I've read some stupid shit on here but this beats the lot.

stofi · 23/03/2019 17:03

Do I understand you correctly OP, that the ladders were sort of put away and the children just climbed up the poles? It reads as though the builders told the children not to go up when there were no ladders.

Bluesmartiesarebest · 23/03/2019 17:05

To mr lavenderpekins:

A few simple questions - Why do you think it’s ok for your children to climb up scaffolding? Do you believe that your children won’t be the ones to fall, trip or lose their balance? (Builders have been killed by falling onto concrete or having things drop onto them). As a parent, should your children learn about risks by injuring themselves or is it your job to keep them safe and away from danger?

You probably think I’m an overprotective parent. I’m really not, but my child is a part of the emergency services who deals with the aftermath when things go horribly wrong. NOTHING is worse than the death or life changing injury of a young child, especially when it could have been prevented. Please, just stop and think about why you’re ok with this and why you blame your wife instead taking responsibility.

Sorry for the rant!

dreichuplands · 23/03/2019 17:07

I would have done this at their age. I would have explained to dc it wasn't safe and they shouldn't do it because I would have expected them to try and do this. My DF would have encouraged me to do this as a dc so I would probably have warned my DH not to allow it. I would have felt I was being sensible but a bit of a killjoy as well.

NotMeNoNo · 23/03/2019 17:09

I work in construction industry so I'm a bit fussy about this. Kids should never go on scaffolding even on your own house because many other scaffolding sites are seriously dangerous and they might think its ok. Yes a generation ago it was different but actually the construction industry has improved its safety record hugely in that time. Your DH knows he was wrong and is being defensive and minimising it.

NuffSaidSam · 23/03/2019 17:11

'Better than spending the day watching TV. Let them enjoy their childhood!'

Sorry, I missed the bit where it was TV all day or climbing scaffolding!!

In that case the OP is unreasonable! She shouldn't live in an area/house where DC only have the option of TV or scaffolding. She should buy some toys and books and maybe move to an area with a park or a football or something!

CherryPavlova · 23/03/2019 17:16

Not ideal but not the end of the world. Far, far riskier things they could be doing. Riding in a car is probably higher risk. Crossing a road is probably higher risk. Just standing or walking on scaffolding isn’t inherently dangerous but dangling over the edge would be higher risk.

choosingchilli · 23/03/2019 17:21

Utterly irresponsible op and I would be furious.

A fall from that height could easily result in catastrophic head injury, life changing spinal injuries or even death! What on earth was your idiot of a husband thinking?!

formerbabe · 23/03/2019 17:21

Riding in a car is probably higher risk. Crossing a road is probably higher risk

I doubt it.

Of course number of child road deaths is going to be significantly higher than number of children killed on building sites purely because of numbers of children who do these things varying greatly. I think unsupervised access on building sites for children is way more dangerous than using the roads.

Seriously, I can't believe people are defending this. It's mental.

Kaddm · 23/03/2019 17:24

Your dh needs to learn about risk taking, never mind the kids.

Climbing up builders’ scaffolding is idiotic.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 23/03/2019 17:32

Mr Carpet was a scaffolding inspector for a few years until he couldn't bear the excitement a moment longer and went back to the thrilling world of readymix lorry driving, so I asked him about this, knowing that I am prone to be a little over cautious.

Your builders need a good earbashing about encouraging children to climb scaffolding, when even untrained adults shouldn't be allowed to. They also should have secured the scaffolding so that it wasn't possible for the children to climb it. Even letting them use the lowest bars for pull ups is hugely risky (since so many accidents on scaffolding involve stuff falling off and hitting people lower down).
We are having building work done soon and the children have been briefed about staying well away from the scaffolding.

How angry I was with my husband in this scenario would depend on how sure I was that he knew. Fortunately he has seen too many life-changing or fatal accidents on building sites to take that kind of risk.

IsAStormApporaching · 23/03/2019 17:37

My df's friends child fell from a low-ish first floor window onto the ground below. She had a sever head injury and died. It was not a huge fall but the way she landed caused awful head injuries.
It may not seem high to your dh but if the child fell and landed wrong it could have been a horrible out come.

mathanxiety · 23/03/2019 17:43

Your DH is asleep at the wheel.

I would be mad with him too.
Hopefully DH has cleaned up the mess from the muddy boots.

Your 12 year old needs a very stern talking to. Yes, there are brain changes in puberty, etc., but his ears are presumably in full working order and he hasn't completely lost the ability to feel fear of you or to understand simple propositions about responsibility toward his younger siblings. He is old enough not to do this and old enough not to lead the 7 year old into danger. He knows what the builders have said. Don't let him off lightly.
a 12 year old should be able to minimally risk asses and supervise a younger sibling. It sounds like you neeed to work on his maturity
I agree with this.
At 12 my DDs all had 'mother's helper' gigs.

Are your builders a bunch of cowboys? There is no way they should have told the DS that he could go up it if they were there.
Do they have insurance for the scaffolding?
Who is covered if so?
If not, why not?
You and DH need to have this conversation with the builders.
You and DH need to have this conversation with your home insurers.

stofi · 23/03/2019 17:50

Imagine walking along a road and seeing a seven year old at roof level on scaffolding.

Would some posters really be ok with this?

Tonightstheteriyakichicken · 23/03/2019 17:51

Dh's view with lots of physical stuff is they need to learn risk.... entering his own children for the Darwin Awards, is he?

frenchonion · 23/03/2019 17:53

I consider myself a pretty risk encouraging / lax parent (will leave nearly 9 and 10 year old for half hour in house, rock and tree climbing, all brought up with handling / 'playing' with knives, fire, tools etc, taught properly and under supervision of course) but like fuck would I be happy with this!!! Scaffolding is dangerous. Totally not comparable to tree climbing, particularly to the heights that yours reached. It's not a climbing frame ffs! Your DH needs some common sense knocked into him. Gave me the heebiejeebies reading this.

toomanycats99 · 23/03/2019 18:00

When we had our scaffolding up the scaffolders (approx) 4/5 y/o climbed up the ladder over the roof and down the back of the house........

He's mum then requested his dad brought him
home!

crochetandshit · 23/03/2019 18:03

I am a really lax parent but FUCKING HELL!
Your husband is a dickhead.

What would he say to the paramedics?
"I thought they should learn about risk"???

Loopytiles · 23/03/2019 18:06

YANBU.

It pisses me off when fathers use the “have to learn risk” line when they simply haven’t considered safety or have shown poor judgment. My DH has done this before.

Loopytiles · 23/03/2019 18:06

Not with scaffolding though!