To not pick him up from the airport tomorrow?

[theemmadilemma]

Can't be arsed to NC.

Relevant details:

He is in short haul EU country (1.5hr max) visiting family including a GP who had a stroke around 3 months ago - recovering well.

I am at home working and looking after dog and cat.

He left Thurs am (up at 6.30am) after a late night and disturbed sleep for both of us for reasons out of our control.

He has since been having lovely lunches in lovely sun...

I am at home holding the fort at usual. I WFH so I'm ok with picking up most home duties.

I don't have a problem on a daily basis with the split of chores.

However, dog is being unusually annoying and over active, I'm trying to work, and do all the usual shit including cleaning the house. I had a crap night sleep last night due to my wonderful but currently arsehole dog.

I won't have any down time tonight really.

And tomorrow I need to clean the the house some more.

AIBU to say that whileI have nothing else meaning I can't. I'm happy to play chef, laundry, cleaner, etc., I'd rather not add being chauffeur at 7pm tomorrow night to do a 1.5 hr journey to save his a £30 Uber he can afford? When I could be supping a wee glass of vino and trying to chill out?

AIBU?

[PosterPostingPosterishly]

• He has since been having lovely lunches in lovely sun...
  
  I am at home holding the fort at usual. I WFH so I'm ok with picking up most home duties.
  
  Very small house. Huge dog. Old cat. If I don't do certain things every day you'd all be clutching your pearl necklaces and hoicking those pants...
  
  I was comparing my working hours to his and his commute? Was looking for anyone to tell me how terribly lovely I have it. Thanks.
  
  But he gets hotel service. Clean clothes appear, food appears, everything is cleaned. I do not remember the last time he washed up. I don't actually really care. It'd be shite job.
  
  I figured I was being a bit lazy, but not a complete cunt.
  
  My tone is shite**
  
  
  All a little bitter Nikita*
  
  I think it'd be nice for the OP to make the journey, even after her extremely busy day .
  Have a catch up and chat about what you've been up to...grab a takeaway on the way home?

[HarrysOwl]

I just asked my DH what he'd think and he said "I wouldn't have asked you."

While I would have picked him up, I'm in a totally different position to you OP. With no shit to deal with and plenty of time/energy.

Can't believe the flaming for a woman simply putting herself first after a hard week - how dare she not push herself to do something she doesn't want to or have to do? Because she doesn't have it 'harder'? What the fuck?

I forget, this is AIBU. You're selfish and wrong if you don't drop everything, but then you're a pushover and wrong if you do.

You don't need anyone to tell you what the right thing to do is, OP. You're fine.

[HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone]

Can't believe the flaming for a woman simply putting herself first after a hard week

This might be valid if he had been off on a jolly but he's been visiting family including a grandparent who has suffered a stroke. It's not likely that he has had an easy week either. Yes the Op has been at home working and looking after the pets but he's probably had a very stressful week too and if picking him up made it a little easier for him why wouldn't the OP extend that courtesy? Isn't that what most couples would do?

[Bluntness100]

I'm sorry about your pet. I don't really understand though. Was this a third pet? And you don't want to pick him up because you're still upset? Not that you're knackered from looking after yourself and the other two?

[Zooop]

I never pick DH up from the airport - he wouldn’t pick me up. We’re grown ups and can sort out our own transport.

I don’t see why you should bother - taxi is a perfectly acceptable way to get home. It’s not as though he’s arriving at a rural station with no taxi rank and no public transport!

[theemmadilemma]

And thankfully, finally sanity seems to have arrived.

Sorry I don't have a terribly difficult, hard life as you may say. Funnily enough I try not judge people on the validity of their issue in comparison to my life. Shame others clearly cannot.

Yes it's really £30-£40. Yes it would take me ages and cost almost the same.

No I am not a martyr or resentful at all.

This wasn't a big issue. He asked, I went, 'ugh'. I said I'd let him know, he said it wasn't a big issue.

I thought I'd see what AIBU thought.

[HarrysOwl]

if picking him up made it a little easier for him why wouldn't the OP extend that courtesy?

Not when there's a really convenient and easy alternative for him. £30 Uber, job done. OP has said she's happy to sort out a nice meal and wine when he arrives home. She doesn't need to provide a lift, too.

Also I feel it's unfair to generalise 'most couples' - every situation is different.

[HarrysOwl]

I thought I'd see what AIBU thought.

You like living on the edge, then

[sagradafamiliar]

*Finally some sanity has arrived
*
So you've only asked for your own amusement then to see what response you'd get? You clearly had your mind made up from the get-go. Crack on, you don't need validation from others but you have to keep having digs at posters who wouldn't have an issue doing it.

[HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone]

Ok so from your most recent update

He doesn't care either way
It's going to cost approx. the same
It's a total none issue

Basically you have already decided you're not going to pick him up and he apparently isn't bothered so I completely fail to see why you even needed to start a thread???

[theemmadilemma]

@HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone I probably know more about his last 72 hours and how difficult they've been than you.

The Grandparent made a very good recovery. Hence the meals!

We have and do, extend this courtesy every now and then. But for the main part, as adults, when we travel alone, we make our own arrangements that don't bother the other too much.

I mean I can manage it pretty ok by myself, cheers.

[HollowTalk]

Just say, "Get an Uber and I'll have a meal and wine ready." That's it, isn't it?

[FizzyGreenWater]

...and cost almost the same.

Then don't pick him up, that's just silly. Turn it around - if it were my DH he would say that's ridiculous, I can get a taxi straight through and you coming all that way in our car won't even save any money. And I'd say the same to him.

Sounds perfectly sensible and if he's a sensible nice person he would just pull a face and tell you to stay home and get the beers chillin'

[theemmadilemma]

Because it's Mumsnet and I can start a thread about anything (within reason) and ask for opinions, thoughts and comments?

checks is still in right place...

@HarrysOwl Well, it's Friday, he's away and I only have the dog and cat to look after and this tiny house. So....

[theemmadilemma]

@sagradafamiliar where on earth did I do that?

I'm not digging at anyone that would? I think it's lovely people are much nicer and less lazy fuckers than I.

I've responded to people calling me out on shit they are misreading.

[ZippyBungleandGeorge]

You've not got DCs, it's a dog. Pick him up

[theemmadilemma]

You try picking up my dog... he's 50kg.

[sagradafamiliar]

'You'd all be clutching your pearls', 'finally some sanity' and other huffy posts when like you said, you asked for opinions and comments :/
And it turns out it's a non-issue anyway so clearly you've posted for the shits and giggles or because you are feeling resentful like your posting suggests and want to take it out on MNers?

[HarrysOwl]

Please provide a picture of your wonderful but sleep-depriving dog

[Snog]

Not a big deal at all for your partner to get an Uber home, I would have zero guilt on that account.

What is strange to me is that you are making a big deal about "holding the fort" at home when you have no dc!
Surely looking after yourself, your pets and your home is not a big deal??? Lots of people live alone and do this all the time. This is what the special snowflake comments relate to coming from people who have young children as being home alone for a week or so sounds like a full on dream holiday and super restful.

[theemmadilemma]

What if is it a non issue? Isn't half the fucking shit on MN? I mean how many times can we ask how many times a week we wash our sheets?

Sometime, just sometimes, general ranting and posting is what we want to do. And this is a forum for it, unless I've got it very wrong for the past how many long years?

Bugger, I'm gonna have to name change anyway. So ok...

@HarrysOwl this one.

[americandream]

You are coming across as a bit precious OP.

[HarrysOwl]

@theemmadilemma aw look at him! Gorgeous

Also, sheets should be washed daily. And Mumsnet chicken should last a month.

[americandream]

And you wonder why people are being a bit like

[americandream]

@theemmadilemma

You may well be within your rights to not want to spend 3 hours on the road and prefer to spend £30 on a cab, but you really sound resentful and huffy, and like you really do not like your partner.

My DH has come to fetch me at all hours after work parties and concerts and so on (and the kids too.) Never has he complained - not once. I have even said I will get a cab to save him coming out at 11pm, but no, he insists on coming, and says he doesn't mind.

Reading threads/posts like this, it makes me realise how lucky I am to have him!