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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pick him up from the airport tomorrow?

215 replies

theemmadilemma · 22/03/2019 17:13

Can't be arsed to NC.

Relevant details:

He is in short haul EU country (1.5hr max) visiting family including a GP who had a stroke around 3 months ago - recovering well.

I am at home working and looking after dog and cat.

He left Thurs am (up at 6.30am) after a late night and disturbed sleep for both of us for reasons out of our control.

He has since been having lovely lunches in lovely sun...

I am at home holding the fort at usual. I WFH so I'm ok with picking up most home duties.

I don't have a problem on a daily basis with the split of chores.

However, dog is being unusually annoying and over active, I'm trying to work, and do all the usual shit including cleaning the house. I had a crap night sleep last night due to my wonderful but currently arsehole dog.

I won't have any down time tonight really.

And tomorrow I need to clean the the house some more.

AIBU to say that whileI have nothing else meaning I can't. I'm happy to play chef, laundry, cleaner, etc., I'd rather not add being chauffeur at 7pm tomorrow night to do a 1.5 hr journey to save his a £30 Uber he can afford? When I could be supping a wee glass of vino and trying to chill out?

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
theemmadilemma · 22/03/2019 17:41

@brizzlemint And?

I was comparing my working hours to his and his commute? Was looking for anyone to tell me how terribly lovely I have it. Thanks.

OP posts:
starzig · 22/03/2019 17:41

I wouldnt put having a chill with a glass of wine above picking up my OH. maybe that's because he would do it for me too.

Gottalovesummer · 22/03/2019 17:42

I usually post really polite messages.

However, this time I'd say

Walk your dog
Clean a bit less
Pick up your partner from the airport
Quit winging

Gottalovesummer · 22/03/2019 17:43

Or even quit whinging

BlueSkiesLies · 22/03/2019 17:43

I wouldn't do the aiprot run. Waste of time when he could just get a taxi.

That said, I am PMSL at the idea of an adult 'holding the fort' when all the have to do is look after themselves and a dog and a cat.

starzig · 22/03/2019 17:44

Could you not have a glass of wine together when both of you get back. It would be so much nicer sharing.

AnneOfCleanTables · 22/03/2019 17:45

I know you're saying you don't resent his trip but you keep saying 'he's had nice down time'. Basically you've had nice alone time but you're trying to frame it as a massive chore. I'm sure he could point to boring meals with relatives if he wanted to point score that not every part of his week was a joy.
If you don't want to pick him up then don't. But don't blame it on a hard week looking after two pets.

brizzlemint · 22/03/2019 17:45

I was comparing my working hours to his and his commute? Was looking for anyone to tell me how terribly lovely I have it. Thanks.

Which has nothing to do with you being too lazy/selfish to collect him from the airport.

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/03/2019 17:46

YANBU. Personally, I prefer to get a taxi from the airport than have someone pick me up so I'd be happy if you did that to me! But even if that weren't the case, I wouldn't want my partner to have a relatively shit evening to make my fine evening marginally better - especially if they've been holding down the fort for me while I was away.

Original poster
theemmadilemma · 22/03/2019 17:47

@BlueSkiesLies Yes, it is very little to be fair.

But he gets hotel service. Clean clothes appear, food appears, everything is cleaned. I do not remember the last time he washed up. I don't actually really care. It'd be shite job. But I do all those things daily for him, the house, the pets.

So since I do all that I figure he can jump in a fucking Uber.

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/03/2019 17:47

I would pick him up, anything else is just being spiteful.

Although I question that you work 9am-6pm given that you posted this thread at just after 5pm. Surely you are now chilling out for the evening so its not like you are getting no down time at all.

In truth you have between now and 7pm tomorrow evening to clean the house its not like you have a million jobs to do so your going to have time to chill tomorrow too.

HarrysOwl · 22/03/2019 17:49

Just because someone doesn't have a dozen kids or commute from Glasgow to London every day doesn't mean they're not allowed to be tired from working hard all day and fitting in chores with pet care.

OP, if he's understanding and doesn't mind getting an uber then enjoy your wine (with dog & cat). Wine

Nicknacky · 22/03/2019 17:50

Pick him up or don’t pick him up.

But holy fuck, you don’t have it tough! You make it sound like you have such a hard life when your work from home and have two pets.

Don’t hide behind it. You grudge him the time away and that’s apparent from your language.

AnneOfCleanTables · 22/03/2019 17:50

If you're resenting the split of domestic chores and resenting him having time away, it's maybe time to have a proper chat about the relationship.Posters are picking up on your resentment. The more you post, the more it seems deep-rooted. If you dealt with the underlying problems, a lift from the airport wouldn't seem such a deal.

BillyGoatGruff007 · 22/03/2019 17:50

He's a grown adult I assume ? He's perfectly capable of getting a cab.
As someone who didn't own a car for the first forty years of my life, I can never understand why folk have to have a family member or friend collect them from the airport.

Original poster
theemmadilemma · 22/03/2019 17:50

@brizzlemint

That's the question I was asking wasn't it? And you gave your opinion.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 22/03/2019 17:51

Why not say get a taxi home and you could have a nice takeaway/ wine ready for him getting home.

JenniferJareau · 22/03/2019 17:53

I think he should get the Uber. You're not being lazy imo.

C8H10N4O2 · 22/03/2019 17:53

I'm the one usually arriving home at the airport. I get a cab, OH has food and a cold bottle ready for when I arrive.

Farmerswifey12 · 22/03/2019 17:55

I'd pick him up but I would have missed mine and would look forward to seeing him and hearing him telling me about his weekend away on the car journey home

anniehm · 22/03/2019 17:55

If your main issue is your dog you need to shut them away in a room overnight! I never pick dh up from the airport but he travels for work so they pay, otherwise there's an hourly bus for a £5

DarlingNikita · 22/03/2019 17:55

I think YANBU. You're not asking him to hitch home with a bag on his back and one in each hand. It's a sit-down in an Uber he can afford.
It's not 'spiteful' Hmm to ask him not to ask you to turn out in the car in this scenario. And I don't think it matters that you don't have kids, despite what some weird posts are saying.

Put your feet up!

Original poster
theemmadilemma · 22/03/2019 17:55

I do not resent him going way.

I actually enjoy the time out when it happens. It's just these 2 days have been an unusual nightmare. Which means it's been shit for me here.

We both happily spend time apart with family and friends with no resentment.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone Fair point. It's slow this time on a Friday and I have the luxury of being able to do this.

OP posts:
ratspeaker · 22/03/2019 17:55

To me it would depend on how long a drive to the airport, what time of day, how much the parking charges were *, how reliable public transport was nearby.

  • ie for Edinburgh airport i know I can wait in nearby park and ride, they text when bags collected and I can pick up at drop off zone only costing £1. Thats if Im in a car, in campervan it means going into overground car park at around £5.50.
ILiveInSalemsLot · 22/03/2019 17:56

Well I’m not surprised you don’t want to pick him up if you do all the cooking and cleaning even while he’s there. What’s up with that?