AIBU to ask for advice to be the perfect MIL at my son's wedding

[treehugger1]

My son has just got engaged to his very lovely girlfriend of three years. They are marrying next May. DH and I lover her to death and get on very well with her and her family. From this forum, I know that MILs can act badly and do the wrong things and be very annoying. I don't want to be that woman. I have already told my DS that it is their day and I don't want to interfere and won't offer unwanted advice unless I am asked. Can any recent brides tell me what I should and shouldn't do to make sure their day goes well?

Don't say that you hope there won't be tall flowers on the tables as you don't like them.
Don't invite all your relatives, who bride and groom don't know, to fill 'your table' at their small expensive wedding unless you offer to contribute to cost in any way and ask first.
Don't tell your relatives personal things about the bride's family that they then bring up on the day and upset her family.

Don't wear white. MIL wore a white two piece suit and spent the morning before our wedding giggling and saying "I hope I'm not mistaken for the bride". Then sat po-faced throughout speeches and meals because nobody did mistake her for the bride.

Don't expect much say; let them just do it their way and tell them you loved it when it's over.

You sound lovely, by the way OP.

I don’t understand this thing about mistaking a woman wearing white as the bride. Everyone knows who the bride is for a start.

I don't think you have much to worry about op, you sound like a lovely mil. Mine is also lovely, but can just be a bit tactless sometimes! She's very kind though.

"Clear any outfit with DIL" wtaf? It wouldn't be the mil being the difficult one in this scenario!

Op - I would say stay relatively sober, introduce yourself to guests you've never met and have a quick chat with them, look happy (I am sure you will) and be on hand to help with any practical things if asked.

TALK to the bride rather than ignoring her all day you'll be doing a grand job then. Don't steal bottles of wine from the bar, or draw pictures of genitals on the expensive white table linen in sharpie, or wear a hat with feathers woven into it from your recently deceased budgie.

OP - I think you'll be fine. You sound like you have a wonderful relationship with your future in laws.

Disfordarkchocolate I certainly didn't dream of my wedding as a child either.
When DS1 got married I asked him if there were any important people from his childhood who he would like to be there and he chose the ones I hoped he would. His choice, everyone happy. His wife was happy too as he had talked about them having a positive influence on him growing up before they decided to get married.