Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

materialistic people

111 replies

Persimmonn · 22/03/2019 01:53

AIBU to think most people in the world these days are materialistic? I feel like everything is a competition and comparison to the next person. There aren’t many genuine people left in the world.

OP posts:
Rottencooking · 22/03/2019 01:54

Yanbu.

Original poster
Persimmonn · 22/03/2019 01:55

Oh that was quick!
Glad you agree

OP posts:
araiwa · 22/03/2019 02:35

Give me all your stuff then

Doublevodka · 22/03/2019 02:52

Sadly I think you are right. I think social media is a major factor in this. I left social media two years ago and this has made a huge difference to how I feel mentally. I don't have to compare my life to anyone else's. I also really don't care if nobody knows how amazing my husband, kids, holidays or new home extension are and it's pretty liberating.

Butteredghost · 22/03/2019 03:51

Give me all your stuff then

Exactly! It's a bit like when people say "the rich should pay more tax/give more to charity/etc". Then when you ask them what salary counts as rich, it's always coincidently £5-10k above what they earn.

user764329056 · 22/03/2019 03:56

Completely agree OP, sad how many people judge others and their own lives based on things, earnings, etc. I honestly don’t have anyone like that in my life anymore as it’s the complete opposite to who I am, I hate how self-absorbed and superficial some people are. unfortunately it’s the inevitable result of this capitalist system

Rottencooking · 22/03/2019 03:56

@Give me all your stuff then

I have a computer chair that goes down when you sit on it and the arms are falling off you can have. Or my curtain off eBay held up on an extendable shower rod? Would you like those? Grin

araiwa · 22/03/2019 04:28

You have a computer to go with the chair?. How materialistic

jemihap · 22/03/2019 05:10

People are just mindless consumers in a debt fuelled economy, buying shit they don't need just to keep up with Joneses.

I've currently got a 10 year old laptop, 12 year old phone, 14 year old old car, still wear clothes that are 10 years old or more.

I could comfortably afford to ''upgrade'' to the latest and shiniest examples of all of the above but they all work just fine so what's the point?

I still feel I have a good quality of life and don't exactly live a life of penury, I always buy good quality food for example.

I'd much rather carry on living my non-materialistic, non-consumerist lifestyle and be retired in my late 40's as is my plan.

BusterGonad · 22/03/2019 05:51

I love having nice things but I don't care too much about cars/houses or the latest gadgets. I like nice clothes, make up and things like that.
I've got an iPhone 5, old iPad that was given to me due to a completely shattered screen and drove a 20 year old car.
I hate social media because it does make me feel bad, someone was in there with a lovely bathroom and part of me got really jealous. It's really silly because I know full well her parents bought her house so of course she'll be able to afford a nice bathroom!
I try to tell myself as long as you've got what you need to be comfortable and happy you're okay. It's not always easy and I'm always after new clothes etc but I'm not as bad as I was in my 20s.

rudewordsaretheshit · 22/03/2019 05:59

This thread is already turning into a competition of who has the most old things and is the least materialistic.

Bluntness100 · 22/03/2019 06:04

Well considering many people in the world live in abject poverty then you're being unreasonable.

And personally I don't know anyone who compete or compares themselves to others as you describe, the keeping up with the jones crap. People have what they have and often people who have nice things is it's because they want and often can afford those things, not because they can compete with others.

And yes there are millions of genuine people out there. Billions.

I think you need to consider what's driving your thought processes as that's a very negative view of the world.

Lifeover · 22/03/2019 06:07

Yes there’s so much happiness tied up in stuff. Most young people I know buying houses these days want it show room perfect from day one - no have grannies old wardrobe, uncle johns old couch etc.

Having stuff doesn’t make you materialistic, thinking you need anything more than basics and basing your happiness on having those things does.

I saw something on here once about confusing wants with needs. I think that is the basis of materialism.

Seniorschoolmum · 22/03/2019 06:07

Yanbu. It can be quite funny sometimes.

I dated someone who had earned a lot and hadn’t needed to work for quite a while. He kept saying things like “you need a new car,” about a perfectly reliable but 7 yo hatch. Over the last year he decided my fence, my bathroom, my conservatory, my food, my holiday and my favorite pizza restaurant weren’t up to scratch. He didn’t offer to contribute at all. Then he told me I was annoying because I didn’t care what anyone else thought. And then he left. Grin
He still drops by occasionally and says”you still haven’t replaced that car”. GrinGrinGrin

Lifeover · 22/03/2019 06:12

And to answer your question about genuine people, I think there are still a lot but many of those people feel pressurised to put up a front to protect themselves from a fairly aggressive society which I agree doesn’t really value the right things. Finding the genuine person can take a bit of digging but mostly it’s there. I think rather than there being a lack of nice genuine people, there are a lot of people struggling out there feeling they have to live a lie.

TheNavigator · 22/03/2019 06:21

Most young people I know buying houses these days want it show room perfect from day one - no have grannies old wardrobe, uncle johns old couch etc.

You know young people who can afford to buy houses? Plainly you move in wealthy circles, no wonder they seem materialistic.

Unfinishedkitchen · 22/03/2019 06:26

YABU and the thread is quickly descending into Four Yorkshireman territory.

There’s nothing wrong with some people liking nice new things. If they earned their money legally, they can spend it how they want. Not everyone’s competing either, sometimes having something new which they’ve looked forward to getting, makes people happy.

I don’t have the latest iPhone but I have an iPhone. I don’t have the latest model Audi but I have an Audi. I sometimes by new clothes and see nothing wrong with buying a nice bottle of bubbly every now and again, nice handbag or going on a good holiday.

I don’t have to walk around in worn out clothes, a battered Nokia and a clapped out Ford Fiesta to be an authentic, superior human and I’d rather keep going on awesome holidays and retire later. None of this is aimed at bigging myself up for others, its just how I like to live.

So each to their own eh? No need to put others down in order to big yourself up.

SconesandTea · 22/03/2019 06:26

I no longer follow people on social media. It was mindless scrolling. When I want to look their pages up I do. Much happier. Never understood why people have to have newest things when it comes to tech. All moves so quick. Get second latest model on Ebay, much cheaper. The competitive stuff eases as you get older I think.

swingofthings · 22/03/2019 06:28

Plainly you move in wealthy circles, no wonder they seem materialistic
Interesting correlation! My experience is that it is not the wealthiest who are the most materialistic people but the opposite.

The few materialistic people I know have one rbing in common and that's not money but lack of confidence. Believing that they make other people envious makes them feel better about themselves. Yes, some people have aspire to wealth to be able to do that easily but remain lacking confidence deep inside. Those who have earned their wealth for other reasons don't usually care about flaunting it.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 22/03/2019 06:29

I think most people are genuine but it’s always refreshing to meet up with my parents. They can’t see the point of new when old stuff works just as well. And only when they need it,
They are completely non materialistic but my mum takes good care of the stuff she has. They have always had second hand sofas but they look pristine. My fathers second hand car was bought for fuel economy and is full of stuff to do his hobby.

I pretty much buy all second hand but I do buy loads......it’s a bit like buying stuff in Primark because it’s cheap. Only from a charity shop. So yes materialistic!

jemihap · 22/03/2019 06:31

Bluntness100 - Just because you supposedly don't know anyone who buys stuff just to keep up with Joneses and you apparently only know people who buy nice things because they can afford it doesn't mean that is the case for everyone.

The fact is we do live in a consumer driven economy with a debt based monetary system, as a result most people are buying shit they don't need and can't afford simply because they feel pressured to do so, especially via social media.

I think you need to consider what's driving your thought processes that means you need to try and convince people otherwise.

HeyNannyNanny · 22/03/2019 06:33

I half agree OP but the irony here is that you have people piling on to say how unmaterialistic they are and how that makes them superior, which is just as bad.

FWIW I'm not materialistic at all, but I often wish I was because I'd love to get pleasure from something that can be bought. I have a friend who absolutely covets a Mulberry handbag. She's saving to buy one and she'll be absolutely over the moon when she gets one, and will treasure it. I can't imagine getting that much joy out of a thing and, frankly, I'm a bit jealous.
I haven't worked out what brings me happiness yet, but can't begrudge someone what brings them theirs.

It's the ones who think that stuff will make them happy and run into debt and other problems constantly chasing it that I feel sorry for.

Unfinishedkitchen · 22/03/2019 06:41

I’m glad I don’t move in the circles that most of you do. Almost everyone I know is genuine and as I don’t read celeb stuff of go on Facebook/instagram, I don’t see the competition.

I see a friend with a nice coat/handbag/car, I say I like your coat/handbag/car. They aren’t ‘flaunting’ it, I’m not jealous, they can afford it and even if they secretly can’t, it’s not my problem. The world keeps spinning.

Bluntness100 · 22/03/2019 07:01

Jemi, clearly your aggression shows this thread and my comment has hit a nerve, at the thought that people want and can afford nice things and may be genuine people.

All I can say is you move in your circles, I shall move in mine, you have your view of the world, and I shall have mine.

I guess it's the difference between glass half empty and half full. I wonder whose view makes them happier?

candlefloozy · 22/03/2019 07:02

I think the main problem is social media. Years ago you'd see your neighbours with the latest thing and try and keep up with them. Now it's all over social media. I always tell myself that I choose things because of what I like etc. But deep down what I see on social media is having an effect on me. I don't post too much of my life because I like having a bit of mystery about me. But I can see how people buy things that are pointless and getting themselves into debt for