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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

materialistic people

111 replies

Persimmonn · 22/03/2019 01:53

AIBU to think most people in the world these days are materialistic? I feel like everything is a competition and comparison to the next person. There aren’t many genuine people left in the world.

OP posts:
thecatsthecats · 22/03/2019 16:15

People all have their own little markers of expenditure and success that they like to indulge in.

A significant number of people also have massive problems with people doing things differently to them, and need to comment or brag about their own successes or possessions.

My car is the thing that seems to baffle people mostly. It's not excessively old - an 8yo Yaris. Solid, reliable little car that I hardly ever drive because I walk to work. Just replaced a 14yo Citroen. But I get people asking me relatively often why I don't get a lease. I mean, one that I would barely drive??? A highly expensive drive ornament???

The fact I spend ££££ on travel and holidays every year seems to pass them by, but to FIL and two work colleagues in particular, they're like dogs with a bone.

Furrytoebean · 22/03/2019 16:16

So seeing as I own my two bed house, should I give my spare bedroom to a homeless person or am I allowed to keep using it as a den?

Arnoldthecat · 22/03/2019 16:16

YANBU,,, i guess its a form of happiness and fulfillment. It makes them feel they have achieved something. From friends that i observe, there is a lot of one upmanship amongst the chattering classes and aspiring middle classes and those who identify as "professionals" ,,haha.

Many of them get themselves up to their eyeballs in debt to keep up or just to maintain their own lifestyles. It really is fur coat and no knickers territory.

I'm the opposite. I have plenty of money but if you shoved £100 in my paw and told me to go buy something i wanted, i would be almost bewildered.

SapphireBattersea · 22/03/2019 16:18

Yanbu and social media absolutely fuels the hell out of it

RomanyQueen1 · 22/03/2019 16:19

I totally agree, we all have too much stuff.
I'm not materialistic in the slightest and only buy cheap, or sale goods if I need them, I'm the same with gadgets.
Living frugally and not being materialistic allowed us to manage on one wage so we didn't both have to work.
Even being frugal though I've still collected so much over the years that I manage a carrier back to the bin/charity shop every day.
I've never noticed or bothered with what others have, I couldn't care less.

Ella1980 · 22/03/2019 16:21

@Furrytoebean I hear what you're saying and what I meant was people that have literally tonnes of space they don't need. I think I'm just bitter because my ex-husband still lives in the five-bed executive family home whilst we (four of us) live in a damp privately rented two-bed five years on from the divorce! 😠

TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/03/2019 16:25

Interesting. I like money but not necessarily stuff. DH and I made a conscious effort to accumulate money so that we could retire early, get our kids through uni, give them a house deposit and the like.

We tend to use our money to do stuff rather than buy stuff.

We have a pretty big 5 bed house but it’s full of IKEA and hand me down furniture. Looks good though. My very small wardrobe is basically jeans and T-shirts. I’m careful with what we spend on bills and food. We’d have a few long cheap trips abroad, rather than one short luxury one.

Cars though. Cars are our weakness.

IAmASkier · 22/03/2019 16:26

I think we’re all materialistic in different ways, as we all have different things that are important to us. I have a nice car, with all the bells and whistles. Looks very stylish from the outside. But I drive 30k+ miles a year, so the comfort and safety features were important to me, and it’s generally full of hobby equipment and dog hair. I love my car. One acquaintance has described it as materialistic. My house is large but could do with updating and I’m happy with cheap clothes and second hand stuff for many things, volunteer and donate regularly.

My acquaintance renovates regularly, buys expensive clothes for her kids, and has freely admitted she’s only really willing to volunteer when there’s something in it for her - recognition, mainly. She wants the best for her family, which is fine, but it doesn’t make her superior.

Limensoda · 22/03/2019 16:28

I've wanted less as I've got old(er)

My son and his family are very materialistic. Everything has to be top quality and they have all the tech stuff/gadgets etc that has to be upgraded if something new comes out.
He gets frustrated with me because I use an old mobile phone, don't have Sky, or Netflix or a smart tv, am not bothered about holidays or buying new stuff for my house.
I used to want all the new stuff years ago and I do sometimes get a brief feeling of wanting something that is advertised but then I just think I can't be arsed Grin

Furrytoebean · 22/03/2019 16:44

Urgh @Ella1980 that sucks!

I do get what you're saying but I just think everything is relative and if we could see everyone posting on this thread I bet everyone's version of not being materialistic would look totally different.

In my circle I find the people who are into minimalism and shout loudly about not being into material things are the most judgemental of the lot.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/03/2019 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/03/2019 17:37

Having pride and working hard for your possessions is not materialistic at all. I think it is more if your pal made you a nice gift, when your thinking stingy cow could have splashed out, or she got a nice Bday cake I must have bigger.
A person who puts their possessions and needs before their loved ones.

goingonabearhunt1 · 22/03/2019 17:41

Everyone spends what others might consider a lot on something; it's just that they prioritise different things.

goingonabearhunt1 · 22/03/2019 17:42

I spend too much on snacks and wine Grin

Obviouslynotallthere · 22/03/2019 19:57

I am a bit materialistic. It's not really related to how I feel about others more about how I want to look for myself really. I get a bit self deprecating when I've spent money on something nice like an outfit or shoes etc.
I have been on FB but don't really post. Can't understand Twitter or IG. I'm pre all that really and have nothing interesting to say anyway. But all these platforms are stuffed with adverts because TV and newspapers aren't viewed in the same way now. We are bombarded with buy buy buy. It's so boring.

Strokethefurrywall · 22/03/2019 20:39

Can you be very wealthy and genuinely care about others?

Errr yes.

KittyKel · 22/03/2019 20:55

Can you not have/want nice things and be a genuine person? Why are they mutually exclusive traits?

I know plenty of people who have and are both.

Jsmith99 · 22/03/2019 21:05

Rampant consumerism and a competitively materialistic culture are fine for people who have plenty of money and can easily afford to buy what they want, when they want.

The problems start when that culture influences ordinary people on modest incomes to try to keep up appearances by using high-cost debt to buy stuff they don’t actually need. We all know financially illiterate people who are drowning in debt but have two shiny new cars on the driveway of their rented house which is full of shiny new stuff all bought on maxed-out credit cards. Complete madness.

sallievp · 22/03/2019 21:50

Msybe im materialistic...i like and have many 'nice' things, home, clothes, bags, holidays, car etc. They give me a lot of pleasure and im lucky enough to be able to afford them...But i have enough sense to never make a big deal of these things...they really aren't important in the grand scheme of things...i could or would never make anyone else feel inferior.

sallievp · 22/03/2019 21:55

Maybe im materialistic...i like and have many 'nice' things, home, clothes, bags, holidays, car etc. They give me a lot of pleasure and im lucky enough to be able to afford them...But i have enough sense to never make a big deal of these things...they really aren't important in the grand scheme of things...i could or would never make anyone else feel inferior. But equally i really dont like being told i am somehow wrong for how i choose to spend my own money!

Smileymoon · 22/03/2019 22:06

I think the OP is talking about the way a lot of people value 'things' and money and pursue 'things' and money. It isn't a criticism of people who have money. It is the attitude that money means success and not having excesses means failure. It is the materialistic view of life which is warped. This isn't an opinion that should make people with money defensive.

Jsmith99 · 22/03/2019 22:11

Irregular verb :

I like nice things.

You are a shopaholic.

She is a materialistic cow Grin.

Bluntness100 · 23/03/2019 08:27

The op is being critical though, she's clear in her op, she feels people are not genuine and that they only like nice things to compet with others.

It's fine to like nice things, there is no glory or special place in heaven for living your life surrounded by tat.

Vulpine · 23/03/2019 08:31

I've never understood this love of labels. And the whole handbag/shoe obsession leaves me cold.

ScreamingValenta · 23/03/2019 08:32

Jsmith99 Brilliant!