DH thinks I’m ripping him off

[EmmaG78x]

Hi, big disagreement with DH about the proportion in ownership of our house.

When we met I’d just bought a house but We moved in together and joined finances shortly afterwards. Everything was split equally including the mortgage but this was much cheaper than if he was renting. 8 years later we used the profit from the house as a 20% deposit for a house. Noting else was used as a deposit so we split ownership 75:25 in my favour.

Now, 5 years later and we are about to change mortgage providers. DH has mentioned we should now move to 70:30in my favour and continue until it’s 50:50 in another 20 years.

I want it to remain 75:25 forever as the deposit was from selling my house and he earns a lot more than me so me and the kids will need more if he leaves me.

He argues we’ve had joint finances the whole time and he earns a lot more than me. (about 50% more until I went part time once DS1 was born so now about double)

AIBU to keep things the way they are?

I guess OP wants views from more than one forum

TBH, I don't understand why you ever split it 75/25. Your deposit was 20%, and if you split the 80% mortgage why wasn't it 60/40?

You and your husband are a partnership so having a 50/50 split is not unreasonable and I don’t think your DH is being unreasonable with a 70/30 split either.
Has your husband given you cause to think you may split up?
My husband has always paid our mortgage and we have aiways had a 50/50 split, even when I gave up work to look after our daughter.
There is a clause you can have written into your will. If either you or your husband die, whoever is first, then remarries after the death of a partner, the clause does not let the other person access to the person who has passed away monies . This clause is expensive, but the children’s inheritance is safe . You also have to be tenants in common , rather than joint tenancy , which can to done by contacting the land registry .

Such a clause is not actually expensive user, you simply make a will leaving your share in trust to the DC and if relevant the income to go to the spouse until they die/remarry/kids reach a certain age/whatevet. It can of course get expensive if you start using professionals to act as executors and/or trustees.

I think 50/50 is fair. 100% of our very sizeable deposit came from the sale of my property but as his income pays for most stuff (I earn only 20% of the household income) it seems fair - over 15 years he'd certainly paid the difference!

My first house provided the deposit for our current family home. Never entered my head to specify a percentage! We own it jointly, with the understanding that the amount my mum contributed to help me buy my first house is held in trust for her in the property.

OP, are you actually married?

I think I’m the event of a break up, your provision of that level of deposit should be recognised and negotiated as far as possible alongside pensions etc. But until then, once you are married,assets are part of the joint assets.

Did you buy together as Tenants In Common before you married?

Got an email from Netmums and seems this post is exactly word for work their star post of the day?🤔

@kellywood start your own thread instead of hijacking this, cf indeed