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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to be furious with barber

164 replies

BillywigSting · 21/03/2019 16:39

So I took ds for a much needed tidy up haircut. It was a bit longer than in the 3rd pic. He chose a style he likes and that will be ok with school.

The blurred out pic is ds, the other what he wanted.

He previously had lots of beautiful blonde curls. They have given him a number 4 and cut his ear.

I know I am probably being a bit dramatic but I could honestly cry. His hair grows really really really slowly too. This is only his fifth or sixth haircut ever because it's curly it stays short for ages.

I refused to pay because it looks nothing like what he asked for. He's upset about loosing his curls and I'm not sure school will be overly happy with it either.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

strawberrypenguin · 22/03/2019 09:11

You would never have got the style in the middle photo, the hair is completely different. I actually don't think the barber did a bad job considering your sons natural hairstyle and what he asked for.

tabulahrasa · 22/03/2019 09:19

It looks to me like the barber has tried to get close to the shape of the photo which has meant having to go shorter because of your DS’s hair, when what you actually wanted was the length of the photo...

So the barber could have asked what it was, but equally you could have told them.

The cut itself is fine and in no way extreme btw.

Original poster

BillywigSting · 22/03/2019 09:55

It will take far longer than a couple of weeks to grow back.

Based on previous haircuts, this will take approximately three months.

It was a Turkish barber.

The barber categorically did not tell either of us how bloody short he was going to shear it.

I was the one who said to ds it wouldn't look exactly like the photo.

He cut my son's ear, which has never happened before, even when he was a wiggly three year old (which was his first haircut as his hair grows at a totally glacial rate).

He didn't even have the decency to look apologetic when he was told it was far too short. He stood there grinning like a Cheshire cat.

The boy in the middle pic has hair that is around an inch long at the sides, perhaps longer, and longer again on top.

My son has been left with less than a cm of hair on the back and sides. His hair isn't actually that thin, just very fair so when it is shaved so close it looks like there is hardly anything there.

Even dp, who has been keen for ds's hair to be cut in a bit shorter than he normally has it is unhappy about it and thinks it is FAR too short.

And it's got fuck all to do with resilience. Anyone can be upset over a bad haircut. Especially a young child.

If he was a girl who's hair had been cut too short I bet the responses would be different. He is upset. I am upset because he is and because the barber did not give him anything even close to what he asked for.

OP posts:

Isitweekendyet · 22/03/2019 10:00

So he wanted it shorter at the sides but longer on top to keep some curls? That's what I'm understanding.

It looks like he's given him a 4 all over and faded it in on his sides.

I wouldn't be happy either OP!

Thankfully it will grow back, hair at that age seems to double in length in five minutes so it won't be for long - hang in there!

Good on you for refusing to pay - I would have scuttled out £6 lighter and seething.

Mammajay · 22/03/2019 10:02

Looks fine..no. 4 settng is not uber short

Isitweekendyet · 22/03/2019 10:03

I've just read your update that it was a Turkish Barber.... I would avoid 'trendy' barbers like the plague.

DH takes DS with him to his old man local where he queues with 50 year olds but at least he never goes out looking like a skinhead. I speak from experience when a lot of these barbers don't really get hair that it's a fade.

Frequency · 22/03/2019 10:03

I do barbering and have done the cut in the middle pic a few times. It's actually deceptively short. The only way you can get hair to stand up like that is to cut it very short. Any longer and it would flop back down. The main difference in your DS's cut is the density of hair, the styling and product. Blow it back around a round brush with some mousse or gel and finish it with wax and it will look a lot more like the pic. The sides of your DS's hair are possibly a bit shorter but again that could be due to density. Finer hair always looks shorter when it's cut short.

Original poster

BillywigSting · 22/03/2019 10:11

There isn't enough hair to get a comb underneath it never mind a brush!

And yes, he likes the sides fairly short, (ie short enough to not tickle how ears bit long enough to actually curl a bit. It shortens when it curls anyway) though nothing like as short as what he has, and the length kept on top, which again curls and doesn't look anything like as long as it is.

His fringe bit when wet should come to his eyes. It bounces up to above his eyebrows when it's dry.

OP posts:

JoanMiro · 22/03/2019 10:27

OP, it's normal to be peeved about stuff like this.

But if EVERYONE is telling you you're overreacting... then maybe you're overreacting.

Frequency · 22/03/2019 10:29

You need a smaller round brush. I use a 95mm one when blow drying that style. The hair doesn't wrap all the way around. It just to say bends over the top. It should be cut to around a cm, maybe just over to get the result in the middle pic. If the barber left it so it hits his eyes when it's wet that would be way too long.

And you probably will find it grows much quicker. All hair types grow between 1-2 cms per month it's just that curlier hair curls more as it gets longer so it doesn't look like its growing. The barber might have cut it slightly short but only by a few weeks worth of growth.

Knittedfairies · 22/03/2019 10:31

Go and pay the barber today.

saoirse31 · 22/03/2019 10:36

Honestly think the cut he got is much nicer than the one he wanted and how his hair was. Also way more convenient. Also his hair doesnt really suit the style he wanted. And definitely not too short.
None of which means your annoyance is unreasonable.

TeaforTwoBiscuitOrThree · 22/03/2019 10:38

the middle pic is the new haircut? I think they've done a really good job tbh. A no 4 is hardly a buzz cut? YABU.

Frequency · 22/03/2019 10:42

I think the problem here is lack of communication. You should have told the barber you wanted to keep the length on the top and he should have explained the style you wanted is almost impossible to have on your DSs hair type especially if you want to keep enough length for the hair to curl.

BeanTownNancy · 22/03/2019 10:54

You didn't get what you asked for and he cut your kid's ear - I wouldn't want to pay. (but probably would because I hate confrontation).

If I went to the salon today and said I wanted bright blue hair I would expect the stylist to say "that's not gonna happen - you can get this result or you will have to do this and this to get the colour you want", not for them to whack some blue dye on it, turn my hair a funny colour and then expect me to pay for it. They are the professionals with the knowledge, not you. If it wasn't going to look the way you wanted, they should have told you so IMO.

nokidshere · 22/03/2019 11:03

When we used to go to the barbers I would ask for a scissor cut short back and sides with length on the top, that way he didn't use a shaver. Did you ask him To scissor cut it?

Also my curly haired son went through a phase of having a number 3 all over but still had a long mop of curly hair if he left it to grow, so if your son is going to keep curly hair it will grow back.

It's just hair, it grows back. Don't stress and go to the hairdressers next time.

Original poster

BillywigSting · 22/03/2019 11:08

It is less than a cm long.

There is not enough left to style apart from the tiniest scrap left on top (which on closer inspection is not even /properly blended)

The tiny scrap he has left on top has half curled on its own after I washed it for him last night and looks very marginally better, but still not at all right.

He is still unhappy with it and wanted to wear a hat to school today. (I told him he looked lovely and smart because I'm not an arsehole, I am not going to let him think he looks ridiculous or anything other than fantastic. He had no clue I was very unhappy with it and I have told him it will grow back eventually. I did not say soon, because that would be a flagrant lie).

OP posts:

BlueSkiesLies · 22/03/2019 11:10

Its a bit short, but it will grow. Tell him he looks nice and smart (he does!) and that once its grown long again you can chose a new style together that will work with curly hair.

kaytee87 · 22/03/2019 11:12

He had no clue I was very unhappy with it and I have told him it will grow back eventually.

He must have noticed that you refused to pay the barber?

EstrellaDamn · 22/03/2019 11:16

It's hair, it grows

chuttypicks · 22/03/2019 11:21

First world problems OP. It looks fine and it's only hair, it WILL grow back!

GruciusMalfoy · 22/03/2019 11:23

I'm sorry it didn't turn out how you'd envisioned, but it never would have with your son's hair type. I'd say for next time maybe try and find out where other people with curly haired children take theirs? My friend's little boy goes to one specific barber, because he's the only one she's found who can cut his hair really nicely.

Original poster

BillywigSting · 22/03/2019 11:25

No he was too busy looking at the fish tank. I didn't shout or scream. I went to the till, explained calmly (took some doing to stay calm mind you!) that it was nothing like what had been asked for, he was clearly upset (was misty eyed, I said to him to look at the fish to cheer him up), he had been cut which had never happened before and that I would not be paying, nor would we be returning. The owner/manager (not the one who did the haircut) was shown the picture of what he wanted, saw ds's hair, and apologised and was understanding, then spoke to the one who did do the haircut in Turkish. The manager looked and sounded very cross.

The barber who fucked up then apologised to me and ds, while grinning like an idiot. I told him it's not me he should be saying sorry to but if he was going to apologise he could at least look sincere about it.
Cue more clearly quite angry words from the manager to the other barber as we left.

OP posts:

Original poster

BillywigSting · 22/03/2019 11:27

It's not really 'just hair' though is it?

If it was, people would not spend quite so much money on it.

And yes it will grow back, eventually, but that is entirely beside the point.

OP posts:

Meandwinealone · 22/03/2019 11:27

You don’t like it. So you didn’t pay.
It will grow back.
Seriously get some perspective. It’s not like he did a circumcision when you’d asked for a short back and sides

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