Aibu to be furious with barber

[BillywigSting]

So I took ds for a much needed tidy up haircut. It was a bit longer than in the 3rd pic. He chose a style he likes and that will be ok with school.

The blurred out pic is ds, the other what he wanted.

He previously had lots of beautiful blonde curls. They have given him a number 4 and cut his ear.

I know I am probably being a bit dramatic but I could honestly cry. His hair grows really really really slowly too. This is only his fifth or sixth haircut ever because it's curly it stays short for ages.

I refused to pay because it looks nothing like what he asked for. He's upset about loosing his curls and I'm not sure school will be overly happy with it either.

[eddiemairswife]

Does the school actually measure the child's hair if they think it is too short?

[JellyTeapot]

Some of the responses here are ludicrous. How many of you, after getting a haircut which wasn't what you asked for and having your ear cut in the process, would be happy to pay for it?

[DanielRicciardosSmile]

Tbh though, the haircut you wanted doesn't look like it's 2cm long at the shortest point.

[pictish]

The school’s ‘strict uniform code’ can hoof off. They expect arbitrary control to such a specific degree, they sound like lunatics...academy or not.

[Tmara]

OP you have had some really harsh responses! I have girls not a boy so I've never been for a little boy's haircut, but if my child's ear got cut I'd be upset too - that's totally unacceptable and I feel very sorry for your little boy and you. With the actual haircut, personally I'd be annoyed too, especially if my child was upset as well, but, I think I'd have to chalk it up to experience. You will now know what to avoid in future, it's a learning curve, and we're not all hair experts. I would expect a barber to tell me if a pic I showed them was not realistic for certain hair type! I know hair can take ages to grow and in the short term it might be upsetting. Like another poster said, your son's curls are clearly a big part of his identity, and he's so young, it's a big deal at that age! Why do some people expect him to just suck it up because he's a boy? Plus it's his baby hair so it's a big deal for you as his mum. It will grow back eventually though, it sucks but it's not permanent, and like I say just try and chalk it up to experience. I think his curls look lovely, but also that his new short haircut looks good in a totally different way, tell him he looks handsome and smart and if his confidence has been knocked, reassure him. I know it's really upset you and I don't think yabu, but it will grow out again eventually x

[wildbhoysmama]

OP my DS (7) has very curly, blonde hair. I find most barbers and many hairdressers don't cut curly hair well. Embarrassingly, I drive 30 minutes to my own hairdresser to get his hair cut, but it's worth it!

[Namechangeforthiscancershit]

Ffs, even the other barber wasn't impressed with his handy work

If the manager said it's no good then presumably he was fine with you not paying. I wouldn't feel bad about that.

[BillywigSting]

It's an academy so yes they can pretty much do what they want.

It was either there or a faith school, and we were never in a million years sending him to a faith school but that's a different thread altogether.

[angelikacpickles]

The most unreasonable thing about this whole thread is a school deciding that a child's hair can be too short. Can a child's hair be too long? How is it any of their bloody business? Can they exclude a child for having a bad haircut?

[BillywigSting]

The school has a strict uniform code and the hair at the back is basically too short to be allowed. It must be a minimum of 2cm at the shortest point and his is shorter than that.

I spoke to his teachers this morning and told them what had happened and they said that because he is only in reception and is normally spot on with uniform nothing would come of it. If he was older and or it was done on purpose he would be in trouble for it.

[FlopsyMopsyRabbit]

You still haven't explained why the school would be unhappy with it?

[dementedpixie]

Who is the 10 year old?? OPs child is 5

[SparkiePolastri]

Why would you give a 10YO a haircut that he'd have to blow dry his hair each day to achieve...?

[Hahaha88]

Yanbu to be upset, my son has curly hair and had a style like the one yours wanted. However the barber (a Turkish one seen as people seem to think they can't do curly hair) left the top much longer than they would have in a straight haired boy to allow for it to curl. However you were unreasonable not taking a picture of a boy with a curly hair style. Also if I took my son to a new stylist I always asked if they were experienced with curly hair. 8/10 times I took him to an African stylist. I hope his curls grow faster than normal!

[Jayne35]

I doubt it will be the last time he dislikes a haircut to be honest, I'm sure everyone has multiple cuts they hate throughout life.

It should be fine next time if you pay the extra cost of a hairdresser.

My DS recently had his neck cut at a turkish barbers though so I suspect it happens often - he said it didn't hurt though, was just a nick.

[8misskitty8]

barbers/hairdressers IMO find curly hair hard to cut/shape using a straight hairstyle photo as a guide.
His hair however is shorter than on the photo so I would be miffed at that.
What I would have complained about was the ear cutting especially if the barber did not apologise when it initially happened.

[Frequency]

He did not say it would not look like the photo. As I mentioned previously, I warned ds it wouldn't look exactly like that. It would be a similar shape but wavy/curly

Again this is lack of understanding/communication. If the barber left your DS's hair so long that it curled it would look nothing like the cut you asked for which is cut to about 1-1.5cm long on the top and blow dried back. Any longer and it would not stand-up the way it does. Honestly, it is a deceptively short cut. It looks a lot longer than it actually is. I was glad I was presented with it when I was training because I thought it was longer and indeed cut it longer the first time I did it and then my instructor came over and lopped another inch and a half off the top and explained I'd left it way too long to style the way the boy wanted it.

The barber gave you what you asked for. The problem is your son doesn't have the right type of hair to support the style. The other barber was probably trying to pacify the crazy lady.

[pictish]

“If he had actually tried to give him 'a close approximation' of what he wanted he would not have cut so much off the top, and would have blown it straight.

He did not do this. He shaved his head and cropped the top.“

Yep...that’s what the barber does. Short back and sides with a little left on top. No exceptions. You can gel the top or leave it flat...those are your choices.
Next time go to a hairdresser. Trust me on this. In the meantime let me assure you in three days you will have ceased to care about this. Promise!

[Candleglow7475]

Gawd you’ve made a real big deal out of this.... you’ll probably not be able to get your DS near any barbers / hairdressers again after this

[NunoGoncalves]

There's not much more to say in this thread, OP. You asked if you're being unreasonable, the vast majority have said you are. Most people have told you you're overreacting, but you keep repeating the same points to try to claim you're not. So why didyou ask in AIBU?!

[BillywigSting]

@dementedpixie that's certainly how it looks to me. I think I will be doing the same in future.

They might actually listen and not just crop it however they want.

[lazyspoon]

Why make the post if you're going to go against anybody telling you you're being unreasonable? Also, what does being Turkish have to do with it? Your sons hair was never going to look like that photo and instead of getting upset about it maybe you should just explain that his hair will grow back and then he can find a new style for his next hair cut. Personally I would pay but not the full amount but only because of the cut to sons ear, not to do with the style. The cut/style looks great and very neat

[dementedpixie]

Did the barber just do the only haircut he knows how to do? That's why I've had to resort to taking my ds to a hairdresser as the barbers don't listen and just do what they want

[BillywigSting]

He did not say it would not look like the photo. As I mentioned previously, I warned ds it wouldn't look exactly like that. It would be a similar shape but wavy/curly.

He did not see my reaction (which if you actually rtft was pretty discreet I thought). He saw his reflection, saw how much shorter his hair was and looked like he was about to burst into tears. He's typically pretty stoic and not a cryer at all so was fairly upset all on his own thank you very much.

If he had actually liked it, despite the fact that it was nothing like what he asked for I would have sucked it up and paid. It's his hair after all not mine.

He also cut his fucking ear right where his glasses rest.

If he had actually tried to give him 'a close approximation' of what he wanted he would not have cut so much off the top, and would have blown it straight.

He did not do this. He shaved his head and cropped the top.

Ffs, even the other barber wasn't impressed with his handy work.

[dementedpixie]

The barber left no length on the top to work with so he did fuck up