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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find this uncomfortable?

108 replies

wishywashyrainbow · 21/03/2019 15:08

I am a nanny (as in childcarer) and I have an acquaintance who I met 10 years ago when we nannied abroad together.
We were friendly-ish as we’re working in the same house etc.
She was sacked after 6 weeks though, as she was lazy and unprofessional. We’ve stayed acquaintances ever since, and she messages me every few weeks, just asking how work is etc.
I just reply fairly boring things, such as “it’s busy with it being the school holidays” etc. So no personal info about my charges. She doesn’t know their names or ages despite me working with them for a few years.
She goes through nannying jobs like hot meals. She’ll find jobs on gumtree, work for a few weeks, get sacked or told they no longer need help, then she’ll be unemployed for a month or so before finding somewhere for another 2 weeks.
I just feel really bad the way she speaks about the kids she cares for. She’ll message and say “they’re thick” or “they dress like homeless children” or “they do my head in”.
So her latest family has a 4 year old boy.
All I’ve heard for the last 2 weeks is how weird he is, he won’t eat proper food, he talks like a baby etc etc.
Yesterday I received a message from her saying “even his belly button is weird”
I went to open the message and there’s a photo of this 4 year old boy standing totally naked and it’s a full frontal image.
I’m so cross with her that I’ve been made to view this naked photo of a child I don’t know.
I’m furious that she thinks it’s acceptable to take naked photos of children.
And I feel gutted for the parents that they are allowing their son to be cared for by somebody who would do this.
Now I’m really worried for my own career as what if I’m tracked down to having received this image.
I’ve been in childcare for 20 years and always respected in long term positions.
Realistically I don’t know the family, or the child, so I can’t do anything about it.
I’m so cross with her though.

OP posts:
Chocolateisfab · 21/03/2019 15:12

Suggest that you visit to get the address. Then drop the family a line voicing your concerns.
Imo.

NWQM · 21/03/2019 15:14

I'd report it. Of course it can traced so whilst you can't do something about the invasion of the child's privacy can be looked into. The police can trace her number etc.

As a minimum at least you have it on record that you have done it.

I'm surprised that she keeps getting work if she has been sacked. I'd hope this would put an end to her nannying.

Please dont ignore it. This child has a right to privacy. I'd be horrified if I was there parent.

Report and then block her.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 21/03/2019 15:16

Why are you friends with her ? why havent you blocked her years ago?

And frankly you should know better - this is a safegaurding issue, you know her name, you have her phone number, presumably within a reason able proximity you know where she is working, and shes sending you nude photos of a child. Don't you think you should actually be reporting this ? It's illegal (assuming you/she are in the UK)

www.iwf.org.uk/

BlooperReel · 21/03/2019 15:17

The parents must know she is doing this, she has completely broken the trust they have placed in her. Poor little boy!

Find out where she is by whatever means necessary, let the parents know what she has done, they can take it to the police then if they want to. Then block her, she sounds like a fucking cold hearted, mean, spiteful turd.

kaytee87 · 21/03/2019 15:21

Report her to the police. If only to protect yourself.
She shouldn't be working with children. I'd be so upset if someone took a photograph of my son naked and sent it to a complete stranger.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/03/2019 15:21

You need to get ahead of this before you are accused of receiving child pornography. Report to the police and they will contact the boy's parents. What a horrible situation. Never talk to that horrid woman again.

FilledSoda · 21/03/2019 15:21

You will have covered this in your safeguarding training surely .
It's actually your duty to report this .
It's very serious .

Eliza9917 · 21/03/2019 15:22

Imagine if she sends that to others, and one of those passes it on, there's no telling where it would end up.

Original poster
wishywashyrainbow · 21/03/2019 15:23

She’s always been slightly unprofessional, moaning about the children she cares for, and just lazy, but never anything like this.
I won’t be friends with her from this point onwards.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 21/03/2019 15:25

You're not going to report this?

alrightdoll · 21/03/2019 15:27

I would be absolutely furious if I were that boys parent. You have a duty to report this OP.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 21/03/2019 15:27

This is a safeguarding issue, you need to report it.

HarrysOwl · 21/03/2019 15:27

Keep a record of your messages so you can prove the image was in context, and not requested by you.

I think you have a duty to report it to the police. It feels more than unprofessional. Who knows how many others has she sent the image to?

What a horrible situation for you.

Dinorattle1 · 21/03/2019 15:28

Please report. This is my worst nightmare... And I don't doubt would be the same reaction to it from the poor little boys family too. Can you find out what agency your acquaintance works with? A breezy "oh, who are you working for now"... Would give you enough information to pass on to either the agency themselves or directly to the police if just a family appointing directly....??

Liverbird77 · 21/03/2019 15:32

Please report this. It is upsetting to think of her caring for an innocent little boy. His mum would be so upset if she knew. If she'd done this to my boy, I'd want to knock her out.

Original poster
wishywashyrainbow · 21/03/2019 15:36

It was a job she found on gumtree.
That’s all I know.
Yes I’ll report, but all I know is the girls name, phone number and that she’s working somewhere in England.
I don’t know any details of the boy, except he’s 4.
It’s only a temporary contract with 2 weeks left on it. Not that that helps.
She’s got the 4 year old while the mum recovers from an operation.
I don’t really ask details or show interest in where she’s working as it changes every few weeks.

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 21/03/2019 15:37

Report it. I work with children and would not hesitate to report this, it is an absolute breach of trust.

kaytee87 · 21/03/2019 15:38

The police will find her using her phone number

bloodywhitecat · 21/03/2019 15:40

report.iwf.org.uk/en

WhatCanISayAboutThis · 21/03/2019 15:41

Report it. Report it. Report it.

She sent you a picture. You can't be held responsible for having received a picture you didn't request. You will be judged by how you respond to it now.

This is a huge breach of trust regarding the parents and a huge breach of privacy for the child concerned.

LoisWilkerson1 · 21/03/2019 15:43

Shock You must do something. You're a child care professional you should know who to go to. Don't worry about receiving the photo.

MadeInUSA · 21/03/2019 15:45

Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility. Report.

LuluBellaBlue · 21/03/2019 15:47

Please please report this, don’t allow more children to be treated like this and subjected to humiliation

MilkyMamma · 21/03/2019 15:47

You absolutely need to report this immediately.

MsVestibule · 21/03/2019 15:50

You say you're a nanny and yet you don't really see the need to report this? Why not?

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