To find this uncomfortable?

[wishywashyrainbow]

I am a nanny (as in childcarer) and I have an acquaintance who I met 10 years ago when we nannied abroad together.
We were friendly-ish as we’re working in the same house etc.
She was sacked after 6 weeks though, as she was lazy and unprofessional. We’ve stayed acquaintances ever since, and she messages me every few weeks, just asking how work is etc.
I just reply fairly boring things, such as “it’s busy with it being the school holidays” etc. So no personal info about my charges. She doesn’t know their names or ages despite me working with them for a few years.
She goes through nannying jobs like hot meals. She’ll find jobs on gumtree, work for a few weeks, get sacked or told they no longer need help, then she’ll be unemployed for a month or so before finding somewhere for another 2 weeks.
I just feel really bad the way she speaks about the kids she cares for. She’ll message and say “they’re thick” or “they dress like homeless children” or “they do my head in”.
So her latest family has a 4 year old boy.
All I’ve heard for the last 2 weeks is how weird he is, he won’t eat proper food, he talks like a baby etc etc.
Yesterday I received a message from her saying “even his belly button is weird”
I went to open the message and there’s a photo of this 4 year old boy standing totally naked and it’s a full frontal image.
I’m so cross with her that I’ve been made to view this naked photo of a child I don’t know.
I’m furious that she thinks it’s acceptable to take naked photos of children.
And I feel gutted for the parents that they are allowing their son to be cared for by somebody who would do this.
Now I’m really worried for my own career as what if I’m tracked down to having received this image.
I’ve been in childcare for 20 years and always respected in long term positions.
Realistically I don’t know the family, or the child, so I can’t do anything about it.
I’m so cross with her though.

[Streamside]

She may be communicating with others also and you may not be the only one to have received the message.It's not going to look good if they report and you don't. She sounds like a needy person and is really only an acquaintance of yours so I think there's a high chance she sent the message elsewhere. There's a very high ranking officer who is being prosecuted for a similar offence at present. She says she just received the message, the filmed incident in her case may be on a higher level, but there are similarities. She didn't act upon it and like yourself was well aware of the safeguarding issues.

[wishywashyrainbow]

And for the people saying contact the police, on the NSPCC form there is a tick box to say can we give relevant authorities your details, eg police and social services.
So they will contact the police if necessary.

[wishywashyrainbow]

I’m done posting.
And namechanged not a first post.
Think the details are outing enough already without linking my past posts to it.
It’s in the hands of the NSPCC now and they will contact appropriate authorities.
Thanks for all the advice.

[SparklyMagpie]

I cant believe you haven't contacted the police on this

[CaptainMarvelDanvers]

Oh ok I get it. Thanks for clarifying, I think you’re 100% right.

[DroningOn]

CaptainMarvelDanvers

Was just thinking about the potential seriousness of this and urging OP to not tell us any more than she has.

Police (assuming that's where its headed) will want to know who OP has told etc.

Not suggesting OP has done anything wrong at all, just want to make sure she doesn't get into a position here with posting sensitive information in response to people's inevitable desperation for an update.

[Cherylshaw]

You obviously have to report this! I can't understand why she would think it's acceptable?

[CaptainMarvelDanvers]

Re ability to interview you to get the full story I’m not sure if I understand DroningOn . I wasn’t suggesting the Op is more culpable than what’s written or minimising what BadNanny has done. I just think that the Police can investigate better by talking with OP than just relying on a report from the NSPCC. I’m sorry if I have totally misread your comment, my comprehension skills are lacking half of the time.

I think this woman has probably put other children at risk previously, maybe not in the same way, but there is no doubt that children have and will continue to be a risk some way or another. She is either really dense or she knew exactly what she was doing in sending it.

[DroningOn]

ability to interview you to get the full story.

And on the basis of this as a likely next set of steps don't post on here any more OP.

Definitely no updates about what's happening.

[Amimissingsomethinghere]

You really need to contact the police.
Imagine if that was your child? It's horrific.
Please contact the police. I couldn't sleep at night knowing I had that on my phone and what she's doing without speaking and reporting to the police.

[CaptainMarvelDanvers]

This really is a police issue. The police will also have better resources to find her and the ability to interview you to get the full story.

[TheEntertainerr]

I'm disgusted. All you've done is fill in an online form on a charity's website! This is child abuse. As PP have mentioned this should be dealt with by the police. Would you you report a stabbing to a victim's of knife crime charity? Jesus wept. I think I'm more angry at you for being beyond useless. It's this type of inadequate response from people who are aware of abuse that enable it to continue.

From where I'm sitting, your concern is whether you could could be implicated and not with the welfare of the child. This speaks volumes to me. Reading your posts has made me so angry. She could have sent this image to other people as well, God knows who else has seen it.

[RoseGoldEagle]

I know not everyone will agree with this but I think you should have contacted her again to find out more- where she’s working etc. You sound like the steps you’ve taken are to protect yourself only- fair enough to do that but it doesn’t help this poor little boy. This is so so serious, she only has two weeks left with this child but will be moving on to doing this to some other poor unsuspecting family after that. I also don’t get why you didn’t block her years ago, why have you put up with her sending derogatory messages every few weeks (as you say in your first post) about the children in her care to you for 10 years? If she hadn’t sent the naked pic would you have just carried on messaging her? When she wrote about the child speaking in a babyish way- you couldn’t have replied and pointed out what an awful message that was? I just don’t get it, this has really put me off getting a nanny the thought that they might gossip about my child in this horrible way, even if this was the least of it.

[TheRealKimmySchmidt63]

You should have been taught in your safeguarding training it's everyone's duty to safeguard- how would you feel if it was your child ? Call nspcc or the police LA s do not matter they will do the investigative work

[TheRealKimmySchmidt63]

You need to be a bit more proactive I was in a similar situation didn't have many details was sent something on WhatsApp where a child was being beaten - contacted the "friend" asked her where she'd got it from she wouldn't say - called nspcc rthey referred me in to police they traced images and persons job done and then deleted the ex friend was horrified she thought it was appropriate to fwd to me and even more horrified she wanted nothing to do with safeguarding the child

[Hyacintharehighersincelasttime]

I would message her this is inappropriate and block her

[Ellenborough]

Wishywashy can I ask why you chose to name change to post this, your only post under this name, or come to MN as a first time poster with this problem?

[Tinkerbell456]

I reckon you have to do something. That’s just not on. I wonder how many people she has sent it to. Totally out of order, possibly even endangering the child, and a total violation of her employer’s trust.

[Ellenborough]

And yes as the image is on your phone now you should go to the police if only to protect yourself from any further implications. Also it might be too late now but you could have tried to keep your cool and tease a bit more info out of her about the name of the child and where the family live etc as this would have been useful info to pass on to the authorities.

[Ellenborough]

Oh good, I see you've reported and blocked her. I still think it would be useful to go to the police though.

[Ellenborough]

You should go to the police with this immediately and let them trace the family and deal with it. She doesn't sound terribly stable and is clearly in the wrong job anyway. Even if her motives are pretty harmless (if unkind and unprofessional) she is a the kind of woman who could easily be manipulated and coerced by paedophiles to provide them with material.

Then block her and have no more to do with her.

[mrbob]

(I reckon at least 60% of the people I've met who work with young children, including some primary school teachers, are thick as mince).

You stupid woman!

Can everyone stop being so rude. OP has reported. It is possible to express views and give advice without being a dick

[Verynice]

Gone4Good She has said at least 3 times that she doesn't know where this woman or child is! FFS.

[Gone4Good]

...and you ask if people here find it "uncomfortable"????